The British are feeling the
pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised
their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon
though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross"
since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance".
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
level was during the great fire of 1666.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher
levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender".
The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white
flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.
It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy
has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective
Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have
two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels
.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their
allies, just in case.
Further afield, New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from
"baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks
(the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aero planes
and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand
only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulia
will come end riscue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be right, mate". Two more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this
weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". There has not been
a situation yet that has warranted the use of the final escalation
level.
Singapore meanwhile has raised it from Ni Na Be to Ka Ni Na Ma.
huh?
only few people will understand
actually i dun understand this
Singapore meanwhile has raised it from Ni Na Be to Ka Ni Na Ma.