2 soldiers, Lee and Tan were promoted from Privates to Sergeants. One night they were out for a drink and Tan said, "Hey, Lee, there's the NCO club. Let's go in for a drink."
"But we are Privates," protested Lee.
"We are Sergeants now, said Tan pulling Lee inside. "Now Lee, I'm going to sit down and have me a drink."
"But we are Privates." said Lee.
"You blind?" said Tan pointing at his three newly earned strips. "We are Sergeants now."
So they ordered their drinks and soon a hooker came up to Tan, "You're kind of cute," she said, "and I like to take you someplace and make you feel good, but you might like to know I've got a bad case of gonorrhea."
Tan pulled his friend to his side and whispered, "Lee, go look in the dictionary and see what gonorrhea means. If it's okay, give me the okay sign and i'll go."
Lee went look it up, came back and gave the okay sign. Of course 3 weeks later Tan ws laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea.
"Lee," he asked, "Why you gave me the okay sign for that?"
"Well Tan, in the dictionary, it said gonorrhea only affects the privates." Then he pointed to his stripes and said, "But we're Sergeants now!"
A PTE is doing sentry duty one night when the telephone rings inside the sentry box.
"Hello! Hello!" a voice shouts down the phone. "Are there many cars in the officer's car park?"
The PTE steps out of the sentry box and looks across the road where a solitary Mercedes-Benz is parked. He goes back to the box and answers the caller.
"Only that fat bastard GEN Lee's car," he says.
The voice down the line booms, "Do u know who you're talking to? This is GEN Lee!"
The PTE repiles, "Do you know who you are talking to?"
"No," GEN Lee answers.
"Well, f**k off then fat arse," the PTE replies.
