Man and WomanA man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself,"
lets her.
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it
myself," and he lets her, gets mad.
A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it
myself," and he lets her and she get mad, says, "Now what are you mad
about?".
A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it
myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what are mad
about?" says "If you don't know why IÂ’m mad at you I'm not going to tell
you."
MenThe nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are
only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't
think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice
and have money are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and
thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest on us
when we take the initiative.
NOW... WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?
For Women OnlyA group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with
a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their
boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We
have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are
looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign
telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the
men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without
hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and
handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are
tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors
left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect:
"All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and
are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering
what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor
was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Footnote: Hope there is no debate about homosexual here in regard to the second joke. These jokes are not written by me lo. Enjoy. 