The Ultimate Thesis of Qian4Bian3 jokes
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Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed
the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch
of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly
spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to
the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,
he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him.
Management Lesson -
(1) Not everyone who shyts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shyt is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shyt, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
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here's mine:
a green bird takes 1 bullet to kill and a red bird takes 2 bullets to kill. how can a hunter kill one green bird and one red bird with only 2 bullets? -
Shoot the green bird with one bullet first. the red bird see liao scared till it turn green. Now can just use one bullet to kill it.
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Originally posted by directionidiot:
cannot...angle different
10)ANS: The gorilla was prod that the arrow did nt manage to hit him,so he bang his chest while holding the 2 arrows.He forgt that he was holding the arrow.(Never seen gorilla bang their chest? -
Imagine that thats a fire in your house right now. Ho do you stop the fire?
ANS:Stop imagining. -
thr are only 2 birds what. what's the diff btw green and red? shoot them la.
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What did the white cat say to the black cat?
ANS: You siao arh? Cat can talk meh! -
Originally posted by sand king:What did the white cat say to the black cat?
ANS: You siao arh? Cat can talk meh!
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You should join me since pop king join me already
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QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales?
highlight below to see answer.
ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
and
Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..." -
Lol...Originally posted by Gordonator:QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales? highlight below to see answer.
ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
and
Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..." -
lame leh..Originally posted by sand king:What did the white cat say to the black cat?
ANS: You siao arh? Cat can talk meh! -
What the ....Originally posted by Gordonator:QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales? highlight below to see answer.
ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
and
Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..." -
lim bei kar lee kong!Originally posted by Gordonator:QUESTION : What's the difference between Ang-mor and Hokkien fairy tales? highlight below to see answer.
ANSWER: Ang-mor fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
and
Hokkien fairy tales begin with "Lim Peh ka li kong..." -
Q:Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
A:Because below 18 not allowed lah -
great thread! finally finished reading all the jokes~~
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quite trueOriginally posted by kiseki:Lesson One
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"
The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle
and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared,
jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson - To be sitting and doing
nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed
the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with
nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found
it actually gave him enough strength to reach the
lowest branch
of the tree. The next day, after
eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly
perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly
spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Management Lesson - Bull shit might get you to
the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Three
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung,
he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was
actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm
and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered
the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug
him out and ate him.
Management Lesson -
(1) Not everyone who shyts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shyt is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shyt, it's best to keep
your mouth shut! -
there was once a famous zoo with a famous white gorilla. people flocked from all over to see it.
one day a man went to the town where the zoo was, and he visited the bar as it was night liao. he tells the bartender he came to see the white gorilla. the bartender says "ok but remember 1 thing. he is very friendly, but you must NOT touch him or else..."
the next day the man went to the zoo and saw the gorilla. he was very happy and took a lot of photos, spoke to it, etcetc. then he touched the gorrilla by accident.
the white gorilla let out a great roar and the man ran for his life. the white gorilla chased him all the way from the zoo back to his hotel. the man rushed into his hotel room and locked the door and hid under the bed. the white gorilla came and slammed down the door and started going crazy because he couldn't find the man. so he started tearing the wallpaper, smashing the cabinet, throws the lamp out of the window rips the curtain apart, rips the bedsheet off, dismantles the tables, etcetcetcetc...
then he threw the mattress out of the window and he sees the man cowering under the bed. the white gorilla says:
"you touched me! why did you touch me! didn't everyone tell you not to touch me? now i am very angry! now i will.....
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"touch you back."
*poke* -
Originally posted by DC+:there was once a famous zoo with a famous white gorilla. people flocked from all over to see it.
one day a man went to the town where the zoo was, and he visited the bar as it was night liao. he tells the bartender he came to see the white gorilla. the bartender says "ok but remember 1 thing. he is very friendly, but you must NOT touch him or else..."
the next day the man went to the zoo and saw the gorilla. he was very happy and took a lot of photos, spoke to it, etcetc. then he touched the gorrilla by accident.
the white gorilla let out a great roar and the man ran for his life. the white gorilla chased him all the way from the zoo back to his hotel. the man rushed into his hotel room and locked the door and hid under the bed. the white gorilla came and slammed down the door and started going crazy because he couldn't find the man. so he started tearing the wallpaper, smashing the cabinet, throws the lamp out of the window rips the curtain apart, rips the bedsheet off, dismantles the tables, etcetcetcetc...
then he threw the mattress out of the window and he sees the man cowering under the bed. the white gorilla says:
"you touched me! why did you touch me! didn't everyone tell you not to touch me? now i am very angry! now i will.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"touch you back."
*poke*
so cold -
Originally posted by DC+:there was once a famous zoo with a famous white gorilla. people flocked from all over to see it.
one day a man went to the town where the zoo was, and he visited the bar as it was night liao. he tells the bartender he came to see the white gorilla. the bartender says "ok but remember 1 thing. he is very friendly, but you must NOT touch him or else..."
the next day the man went to the zoo and saw the gorilla. he was very happy and took a lot of photos, spoke to it, etcetc. then he touched the gorrilla by accident.
the white gorilla let out a great roar and the man ran for his life. the white gorilla chased him all the way from the zoo back to his hotel. the man rushed into his hotel room and locked the door and hid under the bed. the white gorilla came and slammed down the door and started going crazy because he couldn't find the man. so he started tearing the wallpaper, smashing the cabinet, throws the lamp out of the window rips the curtain apart, rips the bedsheet off, dismantles the tables, etcetcetcetc...
then he threw the mattress out of the window and he sees the man cowering under the bed. the white gorilla says:
"you touched me! why did you touch me! didn't everyone tell you not to touch me? now i am very angry! now i will.....
.
.
"touch you back."
*poke* -
where did the crow go..Originally posted by DC+:there was once a famous zoo with a famous white gorilla. people flocked from all over to see it.
one day a man went to the town where the zoo was, and he visited the bar as it was night liao. he tells the bartender he came to see the white gorilla. the bartender says "ok but remember 1 thing. he is very friendly, but you must NOT touch him or else..."
the next day the man went to the zoo and saw the gorilla. he was very happy and took a lot of photos, spoke to it, etcetc. then he touched the gorrilla by accident.
the white gorilla let out a great roar and the man ran for his life. the white gorilla chased him all the way from the zoo back to his hotel. the man rushed into his hotel room and locked the door and hid under the bed. the white gorilla came and slammed down the door and started going crazy because he couldn't find the man. so he started tearing the wallpaper, smashing the cabinet, throws the lamp out of the window rips the curtain apart, rips the bedsheet off, dismantles the tables, etcetcetcetc...
then he threw the mattress out of the window and he sees the man cowering under the bed. the white gorilla says:
"you touched me! why did you touch me! didn't everyone tell you not to touch me? now i am very angry! now i will.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"touch you back."
*poke*
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gay la the gorilla one
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Think!
You are in a two storey house. You are on the first floor with 3 switches which are connected to the light bulb upstairs. How do you know which switch is connected to which light bulb if you can only go up once? *you are alone.no soul flying or usage of wadeva mirror to aid u*
ANS:
Switch on the first switch and leave it there for 5 minutes. Then switch it off. Switch on the second switch and go up to the second floor. The warmest (but switched off) light bulb belongs to the first switch and the second one is the one which is lighted. (: the third one is the one that is switched off and ..er..cool -
zzzz easy la... haha on all 3 for an hour then one by one you switch off, the warmest is the last one the coolest is the 1st one.Originally posted by mir4cle:Think!
You are in a two storey house. You are on the first floor with 3 switches which are connected to the light bulb upstairs. How do you know which switch is connected to which light bulb if you can only go up once? *you are alone.no soul flying or usage of wadeva mirror to aid u*
ANS:
Switch on the first switch and leave it there for 5 minutes. Then switch it off. Switch on the second switch and go up to the second floor. The warmest (but switched off) light bulb belongs to the first switch and the second one is the one which is lighted. (: the third one is the one that is switched off and ..er..cool -
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.
Q: What is the closest things similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5 days and if it dosen't come, it means you are in big trouble.
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.
Q: Girlfriend & boyfriend go fo a movie. In the dark, a mosquito entersthe girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
A: The boyfriend's hand
Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tazran asked 'Why?'
A: The animals told him. 'Your tail is in front.'