Q: A captain bought a new ship. He loaded all the electrical applicances onboard, except TV. Why?
A: Cos "xin1 chuan2 mei2 dian4 shi4" (Mediacorp).
Q: 2 birds sitting on a tree branch, a goat was eating grass below the tree. a hunter came by, saw the goat and shot it. the female bird said something to the male bird and tio raped. what did the female bird told the male bird?
A: "xia4 mian4 yang2 si3 le".
Q: Xiao Zhu (Pig), Xiao Mao (Cat) and Xiao Gou (Dog) went for a class. The teacher will ask who to bei4 (read aloud) the textbook first?
A: Dog, cos "wang4 wang4 xian1 bei4".
Q: Who is the mother of rice (mi3)?
A: Hua, cos "hua1 sheng1 mi3".
Q: Who is the father of rice (mi3)?
A: Hai, cos "hai3 shang4 (up) hua1" (a oldie song's name).
Q: Which countries' soldiers are the most disciplined & neat in drills?
A: Japan, cos Ayumi is "bin1 qi2 bu4".
Q: Xiao Ming stepped on shit, but why isn't his shoe dirty?
A: He never wear shoe in the first place.
Q: Niu2 Qian1 Dao4 Bei3 Ji2 (Walk the cow to the North Pole). Guess a sports brand.
A: New Balance, cos "niu2 bei4 leng2 si3".
Q: Why after dinner, the whole family like to sit down in front of the TV and watch TV?
A: Cos if you stand, is very tiring.
Q: Big Bird. Guess a country.
A: South Korea (Nan2 Han2), cos big bird = big dick, so very "nan2" to "han2".
Q: Which number is the most obedient?
A: 100, cos "bai3 yi1 bai3 shun4".
Q: got 3 worms lined up in a st8 line on a tree branch. the 1st worm in front turn behind n say "i see 2 worms". the 2nd worm turn behind n say "i see 1 worm in front n 1 worm behind", the 3rd worm turn behind and say "i see 2 worms behind too!" Why?
A: Cos he is lying.
Q: Pink Panther went to the hills to do what?
A: Da3 Lang2, Da3 Lang2, Da3 Lang2 Da3 Lang2 Da3 Lang2 Da3 Lang2 Da3 Lang2........ (hunt for wolf)
Q: Why the southern parts got no monks?
A: Cos "Nan2 Wu2 Er1 Mi2 Tuo2 Fo2".
Q: Why is Superman's shirt so tight fitting?
A: Cos his shirt is small size de, got one 'S' in front.
Q: What do you call a prawn that has lost its legs?
A: Lame sia~!
Q: What type of prawn is the longest?
A: Lobster, cos "long2 sia1".
Q: Which animal is not picky when it comes to food?
A: Chicken, cos "ji1 bu4 zhe2 shi2".
Q: If Farm A sells vegetable and Farm B sells fish, wat does Farm C sell?
A: Medicine, cos Farmer C (pharmacy).
Q: Why does superman flies with two hands forward now instead of the one hand forward like last time?
A: Cos last time is use manual transmission, one hand need to change gear, now use auto transmission no need to change gear already.
Q: A bird was flying half-way from Russia to USA when there is a thunderstorm. The bird was not striked but still die. Why?
A: Cos it used one of its wings and pat on its chest and said "heng ah, never tio lightning", and fell to its death.
Q: Imagine you are walking past a tree, which bore fruits. You want to steal the fruits. What is the best time to steal the fruits?
A: When no one is around.
Q: Jacky Wu (Wu Zhong Xian) play basketball, who should defend him?
A: His mother, cos "ci2 mu3 shou3 zhong1 xian4" (mother guards the centre line).
Q: Which cartoon character is the most helpful?
A: Doraemon, cos he likes to "shen1 chu1 yuan2 shou3" (shows his rounded palm/hand).
Q: there are 2 birds on a tree, a red bird n a green one. the red need 2 bullets to be killed whereas the green only need 1. a hunter below it has a gun with only 2 bullets in it. how will he shoot so that he can kill the two birds?
A: he will shoot the green bird first, then the red bird will be scared until "lian3 qing1 qing1" (face turn green) then he can kill it with one bullet liao.