THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE - DRINK
17 - Beer
25 - Bourbon
35 - Vodka
48 - Double vodka
66 - Maalox
AGE - SEDUCTION LINE
17 - My parents are away for the weekend.
25 - My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
35 - My fiancée is away for the weekend.
48 - My wife is away for the weekend.
66 - My second wife is dead.
AGE - FAVORITE SPORT
17 - Sex
25 - Sex
35 - Sex
48 - Napping after Sex
66 - Napping
AGE- DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 - Tongue
25 - Breakfast
35 - She didn't set back my therapy.
48 - I didn't have to meet her kids.
66 - Got home alive.
AGE - FAVORITE FANTASY
17 - Getting to third
25 - Airplane sex
35 - Menage a trois
48 - Taking the company public
66 - Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
AGE- WHAT 'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED
17 - 25
25 - 35
35 - 48
48 - 66
66 - 17
AGE - IDEAL DATE
17 - Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
25 - Split the check before we go back to my place
35 - Just come over.
48 - Just come over and cook.
66 - Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE - DRINK
17 - Wine Coolers
25 - White wine
35 - Red wine
48 - Dom Perignon
66 - Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
AGE - EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 - Need to wash my hair
25 - Need to wash and condition my hair
35 - Need to color my hair
48 - Need to have François color my hair
66 - Need to have François color my wig
AGE- FAVORITE SPORT
17 - Shopping
25 - Shopping
35 - Shopping
48 - Shopping
66 - Shopping
AGE - DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 - Burger King
25 - Free meal
35 - A diamond
48 - A bigger diamond
66 - Home Alone
AGE - FAVORITE FANTASY
17 - Tall, dark and handsome
25 - Tall, dark and handsome with money
35 - Tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 - A man with hair
66 - A man
AGE- WHAT S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
17 - 17
25 - 25
35 - 35
48 - 48
66 - 66
AGE- IDEAL DATE
17 - He offers to pay
25 - He pays
35 - He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 - He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 - He can chew breakfast