My contribution
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Not trying to be racist here so dun scold me hor....
3 religious fellas (buddhist, muslim and indian) were argueing on who's god hears their prayers the most and saves them from dying....the arguement won't stop so the chinese monk came up with an idea... he says" lets all go to the peak of a high mountain and we all jump down 1 by 1 saying our prayers and see who survives the fall." All agreed on this idea.
1st in line was the chinese monk cos he came up with the idea..
He jumped out and at the same time chanting ahmitabba.... surprisingly he landed safely without any scratches.
Next was the indian, when he jumped out he started saying his prayers softly( a short chant only) and he also landed safely.
Now the 2 below the mountain was hugging each other praising each other's god. Then they turned their attention to the muslim guy asking him to jump down quick.
So the mulim guy now prepares himself to jump.
He took a leap out and started his prayers.....AHHHHHHHHLAHHHHHHHHHHH!~~~~~~~~~~~~~..............
sadly he died upon reaching the foot of the mountain.
do u know y he died???
Cos he have not even finished his prayers yet then he landed liao. =.= -
I dont get it.
You mean the muslim prayer is long?
wads the full verse then? -
AAAAAAAALLLLLLLAAAAAAmak! -
wah piang i not muslim how i know the full verse... but really it will take a long time to finish their prayers as of compared to the other 2 religion.
muslim prayers i heard always very draggy -
really? i tot all prayers are lengthy?...Originally posted by boredandsleepy:wah piang i not muslim how i know the full verse... but really it will take a long time to finish their prayers as of compared to the other 2 religion.
muslim prayers i heard always very draggy -
Here's another 1.
LKY was invited over to msia for a conference with mahatir. during the break time of the conference LKY went out to the office bif fish tank there and started staring at the fishes. At this time mahatir came out to take a breather, and saw LKY raise up a finger pointing at the fishes, then as he moves his fingers the fishes follow......Imagine the MAC commercial for fillet o fish
then mahatir asked LKY how he do that. LKY replied " The greater mind dominates the weaker minds"
so mahatir thought about this and started to try what LKY did to the fishes.
when the conference was about to start, mahatir wasnt in his seat yet so LKY being abit impatient went out to call him. To his surprised, mahatir was still looking atthe fishes.
When LKY went closer he saw mahatir's mouth opening and closing like the fishes....... -
these are not jokes. these are discriminations.
not funny. can try harder? -
And 1 last 1 before i go home.
Dr M was in SG having a meeting with LKY, in the conversation LKY was telling DR M how intelligent SG ppl are. M dun believe and ask LKY to prove it to him..
Just then DR Tony Tan happened to pass by so LKY shouted to him asking him this " Eh tony, who's your father's son?"
DR Tony Tan replied " Me lor"
then LKY looked at DR M and said " see thats the correct answer"
DR M went back to msia wanting to know if his men are all as intelligent as ppl in SG so he summoned Anwar to his office and asked him the who's your father's son qns.
Anwar told DR M " Eh boss this qns abit hard u gimme a 3 days to think can?"
DR M altho angry but wanted to hear his answer so he agreed.
On the 3rd day Anwar still canot think of an aswer so he came up with an idea.He know all americans are smart ppl so he decided to give president Bush a call and ask him for the answer. President bush upon hearing the qns laughed out loud and replied " the answer is me of cos"
After Anwar thanked president bush he ran to DR M telling him that he has got the answer alrdy. So when DR M asked for his answer, Anwar replied " IT president BUSH"
hearing that DR M got ainto a rage and scolded anwar for being stupid. then anwar asked him for the correct answer, DR M replied proudly " The answer is DR TONY TAN LA" -
WOW! THATS SO ORIGINAL!Originally posted by boredandsleepy:And 1 last 1 before i go home.
Dr M was in SG having a meeting with LKY, in the conversation LKY was telling DR M how intelligent SG ppl are. M dun believe and ask LKY to prove it to him..
Just then DR Tony Tan happened to pass by so LKY shouted to him asking him this " Eh tony, who's your father's son?"
DR Tony Tan replied " Me lor"
then LKY looked at DR M and said " see thats the correct answer"
DR M went back to msia wanting to know if his men are all as intelligent as ppl in SG so he summoned Anwar to his office and asked him the who's your father's son qns.
Anwar told DR M " Eh boss this qns abit hard u gimme a 3 days to think can?"
DR M altho angry but wanted to hear his answer so he agreed.
On the 3rd day Anwar still canot think of an aswer so he came up with an idea.He know all americans are smart ppl so he decided to give president Bush a call and ask him for the answer. President bush upon hearing the qns laughed out loud and replied " the answer is me of cos"
After Anwar thanked president bush he ran to DR M telling him that he has got the answer alrdy. So when DR M asked for his answer, Anwar replied " IT president BUSH"
hearing that DR M got ainto a rage and scolded anwar for being stupid. then anwar asked him for the correct answer, DR M replied proudly " The answer is DR TONY TAN LA" -
good one!Originally posted by boredandsleepy:Not trying to be racist here so dun scold me hor....
3 religious fellas (buddhist, muslim and indian) were argueing on who's god hears their prayers the most and saves them from dying....the arguement won't stop so the chinese monk came up with an idea... he says" lets all go to the peak of a high mountain and we all jump down 1 by 1 saying our prayers and see who survives the fall." All agreed on this idea.
1st in line was the chinese monk cos he came up with the idea..
He jumped out and at the same time chanting ahmitabba.... surprisingly he landed safely without any scratches.
Next was the indian, when he jumped out he started saying his prayers softly( a short chant only) and he also landed safely.
Now the 2 below the mountain was hugging each other praising each other's god. Then they turned their attention to the muslim guy asking him to jump down quick.
So the mulim guy now prepares himself to jump.
He took a leap out and started his prayers.....AHHHHHHHHLAHHHHHHHHHHH!~~~~~~~~~~~~~..............
sadly he died upon reaching the foot of the mountain.
do u know y he died???
Cos he have not even finished his prayers yet then he landed liao. =.= -
OMG, you rawk !Originally posted by boredandsleepy:And 1 last 1 before i go home.
Dr M was in SG having a meeting with LKY, in the conversation LKY was telling DR M how intelligent SG ppl are. M dun believe and ask LKY to prove it to him..
Just then DR Tony Tan happened to pass by so LKY shouted to him asking him this " Eh tony, who's your father's son?"
DR Tony Tan replied " Me lor"
then LKY looked at DR M and said " see thats the correct answer"
DR M went back to msia wanting to know if his men are all as intelligent as ppl in SG so he summoned Anwar to his office and asked him the who's your father's son qns.
Anwar told DR M " Eh boss this qns abit hard u gimme a 3 days to think can?"
DR M altho angry but wanted to hear his answer so he agreed.
On the 3rd day Anwar still canot think of an aswer so he came up with an idea.He know all americans are smart ppl so he decided to give president Bush a call and ask him for the answer. President bush upon hearing the qns laughed out loud and replied " the answer is me of cos"
After Anwar thanked president bush he ran to DR M telling him that he has got the answer alrdy. So when DR M asked for his answer, Anwar replied " IT president BUSH"
hearing that DR M got ainto a rage and scolded anwar for being stupid. then anwar asked him for the correct answer, DR M replied proudly " The answer is DR TONY TAN LA" -
Here's an Army Joke!
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Little Amy was brought to the Kranji Army camp to watch her elder brother's POP (Passing Out Parade )
A monk was chanting and sprinkling holy water at the NS boys.
Amy: " Papa, why is the monk praying for the recruits? Is he blessing them for future battles?
Papa: " Girl, the monk is not praying for the recruits. "
Amy: " huh? Then he pray for who? "
Papa: "The monk took one look at our soldiers and prayed for the country! " -
heard this 1 on tv the other day..i think only chinese will understand cos its a chinese celeb joke.
Which 1 of the chinese celeb stammers(kou chi) alot?
I'll give u a hint, its a female taiwanese celeb. -
hmm nobody guess ahh... sianz i might as well give u the answers.
Which chinese celeb stammers when she talks?
Fan Wei Qi. because whenever she introduces herself on tv she'll say "da jia hao, wo shi fan fan fan wei qi." -
beri funny horOriginally posted by markzz:Here's an Army Joke!
------------------------------
Little Amy was brought to the Kranji Army camp to watch her elder brother's POP (Passing Out Parade )
A monk was chanting and sprinkling holy water at the NS boys.
Amy: " Papa, why is the monk praying for the recruits? Is he blessing them for future battles?
Papa: " Girl, the monk is not praying for the recruits. "
Amy: " huh? Then he pray for who? "
Papa: "The monk took one look at our soldiers and prayed for the country! " 
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Those muslim prayers you heard are draggy coz its made to be sound poetic....Originally posted by boredandsleepy:wah piang i not muslim how i know the full verse... but really it will take a long time to finish their prayers as of compared to the other 2 religion.
muslim prayers i heard always very draggy
If ya hear from the arabs, its gonna sound like a normal talk...
Plus, we got different prayers for different situation.... Only an idiot will jump off a mountain and pray very long-long -
Originally posted by boredandsleepy:
Indian is a race not religion
Not trying to be racist here so dun scold me hor....
3 religious fellas (buddhist, muslim and indian) were argueing on who's god hears their prayers the most and saves them from dying....the arguement won't stop so the chinese monk came up with an idea... he says" lets all go to the peak of a high mountain and we all jump down 1 by 1 saying our prayers and see who survives the fall." All agreed on this idea.
1st in line was the chinese monk cos he came up with the idea..
He jumped out and at the same time chanting ahmitabba.... surprisingly he landed safely without any scratches.
Next was the indian, when he jumped out he started saying his prayers softly( a short chant only) and he also landed safely.
Now the 2 below the mountain was hugging each other praising each other's god. Then they turned their attention to the muslim guy asking him to jump down quick.
So the mulim guy now prepares himself to jump.
He took a leap out and started his prayers.....AHHHHHHHHLAHHHHHHHHHHH!~~~~~~~~~~~~~..............
sadly he died upon reaching the foot of the mountain.
do u know y he died???
Cos he have not even finished his prayers yet then he landed liao. =.=
Hindu is it? -
Originally posted by boredandsleepy:hmm nobody guess ahh... sianz i might as well give u the answers.
Which chinese celeb stammers when she talks?
Fan Wei Qi. because whenever she introduces herself on tv she'll say "da jia hao, wo shi fan fan fan wei qi." -
gee.