Hilarious IRC quotes
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This site by BrettBits consists entirely of quotes copied and pasted from the sometimes dull, sometimes hilarious IRC culture.
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Below are just some of the quotes that I found very funny at abt half-way thru the list.
#330261
d-_-b
how u make that inverted b?
wait
never mind
#9322
Ouroboros: lets play Pong
Ok.
| .
. |
| .
. |
| .
| .
Whoops
#365072
Thank you for listening to me.
You know your a really good listener.
Sweety please say something.
Ok I'm back.
#348498
.....................................................................
..................................
where's pacman when you need him?
#7936
*** Quits: TITANIC (Excess Flood)
#3630
omg i love this song
Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song
#406381
I
do
not
know
where
family
doctors
acquired
illegibly
perplexing
handwriting;
nevertheless,
extraordinary
pharmaceutical
intellectuality,
counterbalancing
indecipherability,
transcendentalizes
intercommunications'
incomprehensibleness.
woah
*blinks* -
try http://bash.org/
#125283 +(8460)- [X]
hey baby, whats up?
umm....nothing?
So....want me to like come over today so we can fuck?
Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/
#25464 +(8439)- [X]
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
STUPID
#8814 +(8263)- [X]
I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you.
#171987 +(8234)- [X] -
Yep, his collection of quotes from that site.Originally posted by alexkusu:
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omg they are damn funny sia....
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#365072
Thank you for listening to me.
You know your a really good listener.
Sweety please say something.
Ok I'm back.
I like tis one -
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
STUPID
I like this the best. LOL.
10 in binary ish 2..haha -
"There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
this very funny.
That's only 2 types of people, kow.
STUPID -
#99060 +(19964)- [X]
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right
#244321 +(16339)- [X]
hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
********* see!
hunter2
doesnt look like stars to me
*******
thats what I see
oh, really?
Absolutely
you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
haha, does that look funny to you?
lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
awesome!
wait, how do you know my pw?
er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
oh, ok.
#207373 +(12171)- [X]
oh man
I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile ([email protected]) has joined #themacmind
and it exploded
ALMOST all over my keyboard
but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
:<
#258908 +(9897)- [X]
: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
: Where u work?
: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 ([email protected]) Quit (Leaving)
omg i can't stop reading
#349567 +(9133)- [X]
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
#178890 +(8807)- [X]
*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
!kjv numbers 22:21
Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that... -
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Originally posted by Ito_^:#99060 +(19964)- [X]
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right -
i miss the irc days
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#258908 +(9897)- [X]
pwnage.
: If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
: If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
: Where u work?
: I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 ([email protected]) Quit (Leaving)
-
-
#127039 +(8011)- [X]
1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
wah lau.. who dare to do it here?
#8102 +(7577)- [X]
Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
Who me?!
Yes you!
Couldn't be!
Then WHO?!!
Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#50891 +(7073)- [X]
I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
The girl started crying and left class ^^
#602698 +(7000)- [X]
my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ouch.
yeah.i sent them to her dad
#334331 +(6863)- [X]
so my dad found my porn folder
and he was getting all pissed
so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
"i know dad"
"what do you have to say for yourself?"
at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C
ocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
and he just shut up
what is it?
its his porn folder
#400459 +(6736)- [X]
someone speak python here?
HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
SSSSS
the programming language
#4848 +(6484)- [X]
damn
FUCK
DAMN
i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
FUCK
i go like this to her
"i want to suck on your clit"
FUCK
#262417 +(6383)- [X]
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
whatd u think they'd say?
something along the lines of, "G`Day mate" -
Originally posted by Ito_^:#127039 +(8011)- [X]
1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.
wah lau.. who dare to do it here? -
someone speak python here?
HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
SSSSS
the programming language
Lucky is really unlucky. Don't know mai anyhow pom next time. -
#180081 +(6353)- [X]
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
hahahahaha
some girl just came onto our floor
and was yelling "sexual favors for anyone who does my sociology paper"
i just asked her what the paper was about
and she said the accomplishments and growth of feminism
<`Neo> bahahahaha
#126218 +(6350)- [X]
i luv guyz where would they be wifout us gals???
Still in the Garden Of Eden you gullible bitch.
haha.. good one sia.
#14207 +(6346)- [X]
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????
#362137 +(6265)- [X]
just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
that's gotta hurt
#136524 +(5987)- [X]
I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
It said my password wasn't long enough.
#291262 +(5601)- [X]
lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
haha mendo
take a screen shot
wait
that made no sense
#163301 +(5447)- [X]
God i really cant stand windows me
heh i know. i moved to win2k
* Felacio sucks huge cock
errr ME, not /me
#151861 +(5237)- [X]
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE
#14258 +(5234)- [X]
a sprite is anything not static
a sprite is a variable object
be it 2d or 3d
a sprite is a fucking soda
you god damn geekass bastards -
#1964 +(4771)- [X]
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amp
[01:33] (hilo21) ima looking for a site that seels amps
[01:33] (hilo21) iam looking for a site that seels amps
[01:34] (hilo21) I am looking for a site that sells amps
[01:35] (nexxai) how bout you look for a site that teaches english?
[01:35] (hilo21) fuck you
[01:36] (nexxai) Lemme guess, you'd kick my ass, but can't read the road signs to get to my house?
mi favourite. -
Originally posted by Ito_^:damn
FUCK
DAMN
i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
FUCK
i go like this to her
"i want to suck on your clit"
FUCK -
my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ouch.
yeah.i sent them to her dad
pwn3d on both counts!
so my dad found my porn folder
and he was getting all pissed
so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
"i know dad"
"what do you have to say for yourself?"
at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "CVery Happyocuments and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
and he just shut up
what is it?
its his porn folder