Random jokes for MONDAY BLUES...
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> Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in
> bed.
>
> He shoots his friend to death.
>
> Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose
> ALL your friends".
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
>
> Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> What is the definition of Mistress?
>
> Someone between the Mister and Mattress
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
>
> "Without Information Fighting Everytime"
>
> Wife replies," No, It means ,
>
> "With Idiot For Ever !!!"
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Three Feelings:
>
> What's the difference between stress, tension and
> panic?
>
> Stress is when wife is pregnant,
>
> Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
>
> Panic is when both are pregnant.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Teacher: u know the importance of period?
>
> Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my
> mom fainted, dad got
> heart attack & our driver ran away.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in
> the U.S?
>
> B'coz people started licking the wrong side.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Women asked man who is traveling with six children,
> all these kids are
> urs??
>
> No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer
> complaints.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Two men met while both where looking for their lost
> wives.
>
> 1st: How urs look like?
>
> 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt
> urs?
>
> 1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Sons asks difference between confidence and
> confidential
>
> Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend
> also my son, that's
> confidential! -
o.o? i think this was posted before
-
-
Two drug convicts were on death row but the judge decided to give them another chance, "I will drop all charges if you can persuade enough people to give up drugs over the weekend!"
On monday, the two men faced the judge again. The first man managed to persuade 10 people to give up drugs.
Judge: "Very good, how you managed to do that?"
1st man: "Well, I drew two circles, one bigger, one smaller. I told them the bigger one is their brain before drugs and the smaller one is their brain after drugs."
The second man said, "I managed to persuade 100 people to give up drugs!"
Judge: "Oh My God, Excelent, How you managed to do that?"
The second man: "Well, I drew the same circles and I told them that the smaller circle is their a$$ hole before prison..." -
i liked the one above. -
LoLs!Originally posted by MohamedF:Two drug convicts were on death row but the judge decided to give them another chance, "I will drop all charges if you can persuade enough people to give up drugs over the weekend!"
On monday, the two men faced the judge again. The first man managed to persuade 10 people to give up drugs.
Judge: "Very good, how you managed to do that?"
1st man: "Well, I drew two circles, one bigger, one smaller. I told them the bigger one is their brain before drugs and the smaller one is their brain after drugs."
The second man said, "I managed to persuade 100 people to give up drugs!"
Judge: "Oh My God, Excelent, How you managed to do that?"
The second man: "Well, I drew the same circles and I told them that the smaller circle is their a$$ hole before prison..." -
thnaks for sharing. because this one is still active and contains additional jokes, i will not lock this thread.
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bbb posted it b4 already leh..Originally posted by Devil1976:> Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in
> bed.
>
> He shoots his friend to death.
>
> Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose
> ALL your friends".
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
>
> Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> What is the definition of Mistress?
>
> Someone between the Mister and Mattress
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
>
> "Without Information Fighting Everytime"
>
> Wife replies," No, It means ,
>
> "With Idiot For Ever !!!"
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Three Feelings:
>
> What's the difference between stress, tension and
> panic?
>
> Stress is when wife is pregnant,
>
> Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
>
> Panic is when both are pregnant.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Teacher: u know the importance of period?
>
> Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my
> mom fainted, dad got
> heart attack & our driver ran away.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Why did they stop printing Pamela Anderson stamps in
> the U.S?
>
> B'coz people started licking the wrong side.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Women asked man who is traveling with six children,
> all these kids are
> urs??
>
> No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer
> complaints.
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Two men met while both where looking for their lost
> wives.
>
> 1st: How urs look like?
>
> 2nd: She is 5"7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. Wat abt
> urs?
>
> 1st: Forget mine. Lets find urs!!
>
> ============ ========= ========= ========= =========
> ==
>
> Sons asks difference between confidence and
> confidential
>
> Dad says, you are my son, im confident. ur friend
> also my son, that's
> confidential! -
> Two rich men were talking over
coffee one day and one of them said to
the
> other one. "Hey I tell you my driver
is really stupid. If you don't
> believe
> me I'll show you.
> He called his driver Ah Beng over
and said, "Ah Beng, here is a $10
note,
> go to the car showroom and buy me a
Mercedes".
> To which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir!
Right away, Sir!" and rushed off
to
> the
> Showroom.
> The rich man then turned to his
friend and said, "See, I told you he
was
> stupid."
> The other rich man said, "That's
nothing, you want to see stupid, I
will
> show you stupid."
> And he called his driver, Ali.
> "Ali, go home now and check to see
if I'm at home."
> To which Ali said, "Yes Sir! Right
away, Sir!" and ran home.
> "See what I told you? He doesn't
even have enough brains to know that
I
> cannot be at home if I am here."
> Later on, the two drivers met on the
road. Ah Beng said to Ali, "Eh,
you
> know my boss is sooooooo stupid. He
gave me $10 and asked me to go to
the
> car showroom and buy him a
Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that
today is
> Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"
> Ali replied, "You think your boss is
stupid? My boss lagi worse, he
asked
> me to go home to check if he is at
home... He got handphone what, he
can
> just call up to check lah, bodoh!!!" -
LOL at the post above
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LOL the above one very funny
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at first i thought Ah Beng is going to keep the money and both him and ali go slack somewhere.
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