BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I'm broke.
BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??
GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..
CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes Darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.
Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mother : No, Peter. Why?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, "Oh god, are you still there?"
Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money.
Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck.
Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and consideration to me?
Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I comfortable seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.
Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.
Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.
