The Army....
During army war games, a CO gets his jeep stuck in the mud. Seeing
two men loafing nearby, he calls out, “Hey, come over here and help
me and my driver get my jeep out of the mud.” The men answered,
“Sorry Sir, the umpire has declared us dead, so we can’t help
anyone.” “Hey driver!” shouted the CO, “Get some of those dead
bodies over here and throw them under the wheels for traction!”
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A general wanted to have a war game, but he did not want to use
live amunition. So he told the participating soldiers, “Instead
of a gun, you say ‘Bang, bang.’ Instead of using a knife you say
’stab, stab.’ Instead of using a grenade you say ‘lob, lob.’ So
during the games, a soldier saw an enemy and said, “Bang, bang.”
Nothing happened. He ran up toward the man and said, “Stab, stab.”
Nothing happened. The soldier ran back a few steps and said, “Lob,
lob.” Nothing happened. The soldier ran up to the man and yelled,
“I went bang, bang, stab, stab, and lob, lob, and you didn’t fall
dead! “Rumble, rumble,” answered the man, “I’m a tank.
