jokes for everyone
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Try a Tattoo:
My fiancé is not a sentimental guy, so I was pleasantly surprised when he asked a jeweler to engrave the inside of our wedding rings with our names and wedding date.
"That's sweet," I gushed.
"Sweet has nothing to do with it," he said. "I just don't want to forget our anniversary next year." -
A computer geek is crossing the road when he sees a frog, which opens its mouth and starts talking.
"If you kiss me," the frog says, "I'll turn into a beautiful princess, stay with you for a week and do anything you want."
The guy smiles and puts the frog in his pocket.
"Did you hear me?" asks the frog. "A beautiful princess? For a week?"
"Look," says the nerd, "I haven't got time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog -- now, that's cool." -
As an airline reservation agent, I took a call from a man who wanted to book a flight for two but wasn't happy with the price of $59 per ticket. "I want the $49 fare I saw advertised," he insisted, saying he would accept a flight at any time. I managed to find two seats on a 6 a.m. flight. "I'll take it," he said, then worried his wife might not like the early hour. I warned there was a $25 fee per person if he changed the reservation. "Oh, that's no problem," he said dismissively. "What's fifty bucks?"
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While she was visiting home recently, my sister nudged me and pointed to a line of new plants my mother had placed by the kitchen window. "Look," she whispered, "death row."
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I was talking about how addictive games on the Internet can be. "I know. I've been playing them way too much," agreed my daughter. "Why do you say that?" I asked. "Just before I start dreaming at night, a blue strip appears with the words 'Loading. Please wait.' "
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The lieutenant wanted to use a pay phone but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw a private mopping the floors and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" "I sure have, buddy," the private answered. Giving him a mean stare, the lieutenant said, "That's no way to address an officer. Let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?" "No, sir," the private replied.
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err, ok passable.
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That's ok.Originally posted by stellazio:err, ok passable.
I didn't write them. -
not that nice leh..
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they're alright... my fav's this one thoOriginally posted by Viper`:The lieutenant wanted to use a pay phone but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw a private mopping the floors and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" "I sure have, buddy," the private answered. Giving him a mean stare, the lieutenant said, "That's no way to address an officer. Let's try it again. Private, do you have change for a dollar?" "No, sir," the private replied. -
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