A preschool teacher is having a lesson on colors. She has an intuitive curriculum, and wants to get her students thinking. She starts off saying, "I am thinking of a green vegetable. What is it?" A boy says "Brocolli" and the teacher says, "No, it was a green pepper. But it's good to see that you're thinking."
Then she says, "I am now thinking of a yellow fruit. What is it?" A girl says "A lemon" and the teacher says, "No, it was a banana, but it's good to see that you're thinking."
Dirty Ernie says, "I've got a good one, teach. What's in my pants, is long, hard, and has a pink end?" "ERNIE!!!" shrieks the teacher, "IT BETTER NOT BE WHAT I'M THINKING OF!!!" and Dirty Ernie says, "No, it's a pencil, but it's good to see that you're thinking."
President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."
Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."
Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."
Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My loving wife
Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!!!!!
all for now,will post somemore later
