Shopping
A blonde walks into an electronics store and says, "I'd like to buy that tv please." The salesperson replies, "I'm sorry. We don't sell to blondes here."
The blonde goes home and dyes her hair brown, and a few days later returns to the store, again asking to buy the tv. "I told you, we don't sell to blondes, miss. Please go home!" the salesperson tells her.
The blonde goes home, shaves her head and puts on a baseball cap.
In a few days she asks once again to buy the tv. "We just don't sell to blondes here! Please, give up! Go home!" the salesperson exclaims. "I dyed my hair, you still knew I was blonde. I shaved my head and wore a hat, you still knew I was blonde! How do you know?" she cries, exasperated. The salesperson points to the item she wants. "Well, first of all, that's a microwave..."
Painter Blonde
A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money.
So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman.
She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door.
She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted-how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage."
When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it."
About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there.
She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats.
As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche-it's a Ferrari."
Blonde stewardess
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city.
Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
