A CHRISTIAN IN THE WOODS
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Saw this joke. Quite funny.
A CHRISTIAN IN THE WOODS
A christian was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Christian cried out, "Oh Allah!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You trivialised my existence for all these years, teach others a man is a god and even made a woman and other divine." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The christian looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Muslim now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Muslim"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Praise to Allah! For you have bestowed upon me an infidel for food." -
hahaWTF!!
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chirstian and muslim also dunno how to tell the difference... write christian then write muslim... WTF? Copy also dun know how to copy! -
hmm.....heard this joke b4... but.. christian version...
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obviously you dont know mcuh abt christians and muslims or dont catch the joke at all.Originally posted by caleb_chiang:
chirstian and muslim also dunno how to tell the difference... write christian then write muslim... WTF? Copy also dun know how to copy! -
O.o
A bear can talk.
OMG THAT IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!! -
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An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen." -
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The christian-human-eaten-by-muslim-bear version is better
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LBKLK was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant LBKLK cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, mock about one of my believers being eaten by this bear and even showed preference for him to be eaten than for an atheist." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
LBKLK looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a herbivore instead?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from another bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen. My beloved wife has not eaten since last week - I shall present thy to her." -
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LBKLK was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant LBKLK cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
LBKLK looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Muslim?"
"No way!" said the voice.
The light went out as LBKLK grab God from the clouds. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
"Thank you LBKLK, my wife has been denying me sex for a week!"
The Bear proceed to sodomise "God". -
don tell me u r a muslim?Originally posted by LBKLK:Saw this joke. Quite funny.
A CHRISTIAN IN THE WOODS
A christian was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Christian cried out, "Oh Allah!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You trivialised my existence for all these years, teach others a man is a god and even made a woman and other divine." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The christian looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Muslim now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Muslim"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Praise to Allah! For you have bestowed upon me an infidel for food."
u r just too stupid to be a muslim/christian
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OMG
YOU GUYS DUN REALISE THAT THE BEAR CAN TALK ISSIT? -
To be concise, I am not stupid enough to be a muslim/christianOriginally posted by zexel:don tell me u r a muslim?
u r just too stupid to be a muslim/christian -
The original Christian version was funny but when the TS changed it everything frozed including my jaw....want to laugh oso cannot
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A bit toot toot leh this joke
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I prefer TS's version.
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joker
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Devilplot was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees!"
"What powerful rivers!"
"What beautiful animals!"
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant Devilplot cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the fag, a voice came out of the sky. "You defy my existence for all these years, teach others humour doesn't exist and even credit others' jokes as your original creation." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
Devilplot looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Muslim now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Muslim?"
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear raised his right paw, spread both paws, raised his head and spoke:
"Fcuk you! Now that you made me a Muslim, I can't sodomise this fag!"