TGIF Jokes
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The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sunbathing in the nude.
"That's OK with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her *&^@**s has been painted green, the other red and her ass is blue.
"What on earth happened to you, dear?" he asks.
"Some of those rednecks from town came over and told me they don't allow any nakedness around these parts. Then they gave me this paint job!"
"Damn those trouble-makers! I'll fix them!" the husband shouts. He rides into town and finds the rednecks in a bar.
"Who is the SOB who painted my wife red, green and blue!", he shouts.
A huge redneck, about 6'-8," steps forward, a shotgun in his hand. "I did it," he bellows. "What you got to say about it?"
The husband answers meekly, "I just wanted you to know the first coat of paint is dry." -
In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"
He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!" -
Bill Gates once worked in a hamburger joint before he struck it.
He was in the kitchen, and he saw that they had a pickle slicer.
He was facinated by the pickle slicer, and he ofter fantasies about putting his dick into the the pickle slicer.
He told his wife, about his obsession. His wife just laughed it off, and told him that it is just a fetish.
But Bill really couldn't stop fantasising, and he know that one day he will do it. That he will shove his dick into the pickle slicer with disasterous consequences.
One day he was sent home early. His wife was surprised and asked him why he is home early. He told her he finally did it. He shove his dick into the pickle slicer. And they sent him home.
His wife was shocked, "You didn't!!"
Bill: "Yes I did."
Wife: How could you do such a terrible thing! Oh bloody hell, and what about the pickle slicer?"
Bill: "They sacked her too." -
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'" -
lol?? emm the one with the meat ball thingy is 4 child right
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lol quadriplets
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all the jokes are not funny
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Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti...
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TIGF? Thank God I Farted? Thank God Im Female??????
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thank god its friday.Originally posted by sand king:TIGF? Thank God I Farted? Thank God Im Female??????
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Originally posted by sand king:TIGF? Thank God I Farted? Thank God Im Female??????
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nice jokes
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Originally posted by seotiblizzard:thank god its friday.
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Quite amazing how many joke can be found here... almost the dictionary of all jokes...
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haha
sian sunday liao -
dots
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LOL -
thank god i farted LOL
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lol sausage+meatballs means Male... the two balls and 1 elongated thing.. den the other 2 are females...
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LOL -
Originally posted by silverng:
all the jokes are not funny
i somewhat agree