joking only......
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.
One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."
"Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this. "Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?" Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet." The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.
He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!', but fortunately Dad was on top of her holding her down.---------
Blonde Inventions
1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book on how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag--------
Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating.
"Is is beef?" The daughter Katie asked.
"Nope."
"Is it pork?" the son Willie asked.
"Nope."
"Heck, we don't know, Dad!" Willie exclaimed.
"I'll give you a clue," the Dad said, "It's what your mom sometimes calls me."
"Spit it out, Willie!" cried Katie, "We're eating Asshole!"---------
Q: What are the 3 major disasters of the 20's century?
A: Hiroshima '45, Chernobyl '86, Windows '95.---------
God's work
God made man and then rested.
God made women and then no one rested...---------
"Why do men like masturbation?"
"It's sex with someone they love."---------
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Nice jokes =)
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Actually, solar-powered flashlights and helicopter ejection seats do exist.
It's just that the solar cells grab solar energy during the day and store it in rechargeable batteries for later use at night.
As for the helicopter, there are Russian attack helicopters with such seats. When activated, explosives will blow off the rotor blades first before the seats are ejected.
The James Bond movie Goldeneye has one scene where James Bond escapes from a helicopter in such a way.
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Nice jokes!
Actually water-proof towels also exist, these are made by very hygroscopic bristles that does not spread the water. Thus let's say when someone uses the towel to wipe his wet body, the water do not get absorbed by the towel, but rather the water is swiped away from the body basically leaving you with wet puddles of water around you, but the towel is dry.
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and dictionary have index too :)
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