The TTFU jokes thread
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Originally posted by TTFU:
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Bump !
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LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
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camping here for more.... well done for the jokes and photos...
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Rating 10/10
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A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women."
"Yeah what happened?" asked his friend.
The first guy replies, "Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle." -
"An Honest Mistake"
A woman was in a coma. Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out of the coma."
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they'd close the curtains for privacy. The hubby finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses ran into the room. The husband was standing there, pulling up his pants, and said, "I think she choked." -
TTFU... u can takeover jackass...
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K decided to post some puzzles as well.
Note all of them are from the net itself, copy and pasted.
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Originally posted by TTFU:
This guy sound like --- i love flings (m). he loves neh neh.... -
1) You have to prepare for a date, but there is no electricity, and you have nothing but a one single match. You have to light your oil lamp, heat your bath (using pieces of wood), and light a fire in order to prepare some food (in the fireplace).
What are you going to light first? (Solved by Da Dood)
2) Five cast can catch five mice in five minutes.
How many cats does it take to catch 100 mice in 100 minutes? (Solved by Drifting Guy )3) It is rainy outside and three friends meet. They leave their umbrellas in a stand.
What is the chance only two of the friends are going to walk out with their right umbrellas? (Solved by Drifting Guy )4) Listen carefully. A tennis ball has rolled its way into a hole. The hole is very deep and has a sharp bend in the middle, so it is impossible to retrieve the ball by hand. The ground around is made of very hard clay, so it is also not possible to dig it out. However, you have something incredibly commonplace to help you get the ball out.
What is it? (Solved by Drifting Guy ) -
5)
Divide the figure into four identical parts.
Bangulzai solved it
6)
Drifting guy got it
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1) matchsticks!
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Da Dood got Number 1 correct
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Originally posted by TTFU:
1) You have to prepare for a date, but there is no electricity, and you have nothing but a one single match. You have to light your oil lamp, heat your bath (using pieces of wood), and light a fire in order to prepare some food (in the fireplace).
What are you going to light first?Matchstick!
2) Five cast can catch five mice in five minutes.
How many cats does it take to catch 100 mice in 100 minutes?5 Cats also
3) It is rainy outside and three friends meet. They leave their umbrellas in a stand.
What is the chance only two of the friends are going to walk out with their right umbrellas?0 Chance. Its either all walk out with their right umbrellas or only 1 person walk out with his right umbrella. Not possible to have only 2 person with right umbrella since the 3rd guy confirm will also have the right umbrella if these 2 got theirs right..
4) Listen carefully. A tennis ball has rolled its way into a hole. The hole is very deep and has a sharp bend in the middle, so it is impossible to retrieve the ball by hand. The ground around is made of very hard clay, so it is also not possible to dig it out. However, you have something incredibly commonplace to help you get the ball out.
What is it?Fill the hole with water, Tennis ball will float out?