Top tat - the five worst World Cup gadgets

nightzip

13 Jun 06, 13:20

By Tech Digest
12th June 2006 10:51 GMT

Tech Digest The World Cup - a great time for football, an even better time for flag sellers and for manufacturers of gadgets.

Yes, for the last couple of months, manufacturers big and small have been scouring the warehouse, looking for products they couldn't sell at Christmas, before repackaging them at a premium price, adding those magic words: "World Cup...".

We've seen some pretty poor examples of World Cup gadgetry, but have chosen to shelter you, dear reader, from the worst merchandising excesses. But with the event already underway, what better time to reflect on some of the top tat that's been sent our way and pick out our top five worst gadgets. This really could run and run.

1. St George's USB drive/speakers/iPod case/anything (various prices) Yes, this summer's first rule of shifting an overstock - stick a flag on it. As the country goes St George's crazy, what better way to shift a low-spec electrical product than to make it patriotic. Extra marks if you can tie it in with the iPod. If you're not sure what we mean, check out this motley bunch:

St George's iPod nano case

St George's speaker set

St George's USB drive

2. England World Cup Victory Vibe (Â£9.99)
You guessed correctly, it's a vibrator. Decked out in the St George's flag, this single speed unit with interchangeable heads promises more pleasure than a penalty shoot out win against the Germans. And as the retailer points out: "If you get sent for an early bath, no problem - the Victory Vibe is totally waterproof!"

England Victory Vibe
Customer reviews: Not yet rated. Add your review

IN STOCK Order by 4pm for despatch today.

G-oh-oh-ooal! Come on England! Go 45 minutes each way with this mini orgasm machine and you'll feel like you've won the world cup of sex! And if you get sent for an early bath, no problem - the Victory Vibe is totally waterproof!

Full description
G-oh-oh-ooal! Come on England! Go 45 minutes each way with this mini orgasm machine and you'll feel like you've won the world cup of sex! And if you get sent for an early bath, no problem - the Victory Vibe is totally waterproof!

Powerful, single-speed rocket vibrator with 4 interchangeable heads and England flag design.

More information
Length: 5 inches
Insertable length: 3.5 inches
Circumference: 3 inches
Diameter: 1.0 inches
Material: Plastic
Batteries: Sold separately
Requires: 1 x AA
Waterproof? Yes! You can use it in the bath!
Does not contain latex

nightzip

13 Jun 06, 13:23

St George Beer Guzzler
Exclusive Web Price Â£5.99

Cans of drink can be added either side of the head, attached to this hardhat style headgear, come with can holder, and drinking pipe. Sorry but cans (and the drink) are not included!

St George Come On England CapeÂ£3.79
Cape with COME ON ENGLAND on the red and white flag. Shown here with the jesters hat and St George make-up, scroll down the page to check availability of these items.

England World Cup Bottle Babe
Well, we're not even into April, but a marker is already set for the worst piece of World Cup tat memorabilia - the England Bottle Babe.

I'm not sure what's worst - the way it looks of the lack of any real point to it. It's a holder for your beer, however, unlike similar products, it doesn't even keep your beer cool. Instead, the manufacturers have added something far more patriotic - it plays the National Anthem at the touch of a button. One can only wonder about the sound quality.