STUCKED!!!
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It had been several days since the boy's parents had passed away. Still, he could not forget the scene where his mansion was depleted by the raging fire.
The bleary scene that his parents were trapped in the midst of the fire still remains deep within his mind. Along with the loud and clear cries of his mother.
Edward had just finish celebrating his 10th birthday not long ago. And such a lamentable misfortune had fell upon him.
He was helpless, and was without any relatives within the country. The only person that he had could trust was his butler that had served his family for ten years.
Even at the age of ten, he clearly knew that his chance of tasting happiness in his future days were bleak.
He had been travelling aimlessly with his butler for days already. Switching from train rides to train rides. Oblivious of where he is heading to.
And before he even noticed, he arrrived infront of a tenebrous and suspicious gate, side by side with his butler.
Crows were singing in a raucous manner as if it was a formal welcome to them. Cold wind blew and a baleful feeling chilled down his spine.
Only during then, sadness was scuffed off his mind. And fear bestowed upon him.
He swallowed his saliva hard and questioned his butler in fearful manner "May I know why are we here?"
For each and every word he spoke, his lips trembled.
His butler did not answer, instead he turn and looked at him, with a insensate and cunning smile.
At then, Edward got the shocked out of his life. He had never witness that kind of expression from his butler before.
He knew something was amiss. And took a few steps back, still staring into the eyes of his butler.
He did not know what to do exactly within the few seconds.
But there was one thing he was certain of. If he fails to escape now, his life would just be concluded in a tragical manner, just like his parents.
He dropped the luggage that weight a ton on his right hand and ran for his life.
Still he was only 10 at that time. Hardly even 4 feet in height.
After running for not more then 30metres, he was knocked out from the back.
While Edward was un-concious. He dreamt of the paradisaic times he had with his parents.
His parents were both sitting close to him him, with his birthday cake right infront of him. And the huge pile of presents that were almost blocking the doorway.
Even if it was a dreamt. Edward could feel the warmth that his parents gave him.
During then, things could not get any better. How he wished that time could be travelled back to then.
Still he could not avoid reality, his dreams soon shattered like a kaleidoscope.
He woke up in a cold sweat. Panting in a agressive manner, unable to clam down.
He turned his head around, looking at the surrondings. It was all dark and cold.
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Ish how to continue? -
vocab not bad. check grammar.
you have laid the background. maybe you can tell us something like what he sees in greater detail instead of just cold and dark. also how he feels after waking up, hungry? scared? What actions did he do to attend to these needs. Also tell us what did the butler do after bringing him here, the motives etc. -
After finish whole thing then check.Originally posted by dibilo:vocab not bad. check grammar. -
Sure hit 3k words lol!Originally posted by dibilo:vocab not bad. check grammar.
you have laid the background. maybe you can tell us something like what he sees in greater detail instead of just cold and dark. also how he feels after waking up, hungry? scared? What actions did he do to attend to these needs. Also tell us what did the butler do after bringing him here, the motives etc.
I ask my teacher. She just tell me max 350. GG
The thing above alone is near 500. -
practice summary
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something to note: no such word as "stucked". should be "i'm stuck"
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Like that also can ah.Originally posted by unclebutcher:something to note: no such word as "stucked". should be "i'm stuck"
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I do liao. Then like no head no tail.Originally posted by eagle:practice summary
The title is "The frightened child" -
compo? omg... i thought you were writing a short story.Originally posted by Xephone_xenon:I do liao. Then like no head no tail.
The title is "The frightened child" -
Somehow too obssessed with the topic and like writing story liao.Originally posted by dibilo:compo? omg... i thought you were writing a short story.