Friendship Gone Wrong
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No one likes to think about friendships that come to an end, but sometimes this is the necessary course of action. What are some points to consider when you face this decision?
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Will it benefit both parties should the friendship has to end? Why? If its for the good of either or both parties, why not?
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As per the question, if you do have to end a friendship, what are the points that we may want to consider...Originally posted by Bontakun:Will it benefit both parties should the friendship has to end? Why? If its for the good of either or both parties, why not?
Sometimes friendships have to come to an end and when that happens, how can we cope? Friends are part of you, and losing one is like losing part of you, losing a friend is like losing a bit of your identity. -
depends on who the friend is
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and if it is a really good friend? but then you can ask the question, how do you classify a person as a friend??Originally posted by supernard:depends on who the friend is -
i don't know.Originally posted by breytonhartge:As per the question, if you do have to end a friendship, what are the points that we may want to consider...
Sometimes friendships have to come to an end and when that happens, how can we cope? Friends are part of you, and losing one is like losing part of you, losing a friend is like losing a bit of your identity.
personally, i'm not a friendship person. many people come and go in our lives, so i think when friendships end, a la natural. -
Points to consider...Originally posted by breytonhartge:As per the question, if you do have to end a friendship, what are the points that we may want to consider...
Sometimes friendships have to come to an end and when that happens, how can we cope? Friends are part of you, and losing one is like losing part of you, losing a friend is like losing a bit of your identity.
When we lose a friend:
1. Its as you have said, we lose a part of us, a part of our identity.
2. All the years of friendship and companionship simple halted.
3. Its hard to forget and maybe hard to forgive. Afterall we love our friends right? But because we love them its why we wish them the best of luck and hope instead of hating them.
4. There is no simple way to let it go. We bear with the pain, but gradually time will ease the pain.
5. God has presented us with this ordeal in order for us to grow from it.
6. God wants the best for us and He always has a unique way of doing so. Maybe this is a way to better a person?
7. We die to our old self and a new me is born. Maybe this can be applied to the friendship?
Actually I am not very sure what I said got any link to what you mentioned. I just recall my case with a certain friend of mine. We knew each other for 7 - 8 years. Unfortunately due to a certain issue which I happen to ignnite it, he threw the whole "friendship" right into my face and end it.
Come to think of it, it may be alot better if we ended our friendship because its going nowhere and its hurting both of us more than we can handle.
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have you ever had friends for longer than 10 years...?Originally posted by Ito_^:i don't know.
personally, i'm not a friendship person. many people come and go in our lives, so i think when friendships end, a la natural. -
yes.Originally posted by breytonhartge:have you ever had friends for longer than 10 years...?
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This is sad to hear, I have lost a very close friend before and it was pretty bad...Originally posted by Bontakun:Actually I am not very sure what I said got any link to what you mentioned. I just recall my case with a certain friend of mine. We knew each other for 7 - 8 years. Unfortunately due to a certain issue which I happen to ignnite it, he threw the whole "friendship" right into my face and end it.
Come to think of it, it may be alot better if we ended our friendship because its going nowhere and its hurting both of us more than we can handle. -
Come to think of it, I have no hatred or pity for him. Instead I pray for him to find meaning in his life. With me out of the picture that is...Originally posted by breytonhartge:This is sad to hear, I have lost a very close friend before and it was pretty bad...
I can relate to how you feel. I am sorry, bro. I hope you can find the strength and courage to carry on without your friend.
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In some ways I have, but in some ways, it has been difficult because we were closer than brothers.Originally posted by Bontakun:Come to think of it, I have no hatred or pity for him. Instead I pray for him to find meaning in his life. With me out of the picture that is...
I can relate to how you feel. I am sorry, bro. I hope you can find the strength and courage to carry on without your friend. 
Thank you for your sympathy... -
Originally posted by breytonhartge:In some ways I have, but in some ways, it has been difficult because we were closer than brothers. Thank you for your sympathy...
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why and how did you lose this friend?Originally posted by breytonhartge:This is sad to hear, I have lost a very close friend before and it was pretty bad... -
well its kinda sad that a friendship, especially if u have valued it alot, just come to an end. we just have to accept the fact. Ask in faith and do smth bout it if u really wish the friendship to rekindle.Originally posted by breytonhartge:No one likes to think about friendships that come to an end, but sometimes this is the necessary course of action. What are some points to consider when you face this decision?
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I am still trying to figure out the why... though its been for a long time now. almost 15 years.Originally posted by Chin Eng:why and how did you lose this friend?
When he left for Medical studies in Ireland, we were still the best of friends. Then he just stopped communications altogether. This still remains a puzzle to me till this day. -
Do you think that whatever that had existed before he went to Irelend as "friendship"?
My question here is an attempt to define what friendship is....
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yeah we were really close, he would stay over and I would bunk over at his place... and we would always pray for each other talk about the problems we faced and stick up for one another. we went to the same church, the same cell group and shared similar interests and hobbies.Originally posted by Chin Eng:Do you think that whatever that had existed before he went to Irelend as "friendship"?
My question here is an attempt to define what friendship is.... -
my question is still: in light that this relationship has stopped existing, would you still consider that when two of you were tight, were you "friends"? This question is related to what someone said earlier that friends do not drift apart.Originally posted by breytonhartge:yeah we were really close, he would stay over and I would bunk over at his place... and we would always pray for each other talk about the problems we faced and stick up for one another. we went to the same church, the same cell group and shared similar interests and hobbies. -
yes we were tight. The fact that the friendship ended does not change the fact that when it existed, we were tight.Originally posted by Chin Eng:my question is still: in light that this relationship has stopped existing, would you still consider that when two of you were tight, were you "friends"? This question is related to what someone said earlier that friends do not drift apart.
true friends 99.9% of the time do not drift apart, but like I said there are the 0.1% of the time when it may happen. -
ok, we are getting somewhere.Originally posted by breytonhartge:yes we were tight. The fact that the friendship ended does not change the fact that when it existed, we were tight.
true friends 99.9% of the time do not drift apart, but like I said there are the 0.1% of the time when it may happen.
My reason for probing so much was that I did not agree with the statement that true friends do not drift apart. Friendship like everything else is transient. Friends are friends because of common interest. Once this common interest cease to exist, the rationale for this friendship also cease to exist. If someof us are fortunate enough to have the same folks that goes through their whole life together, that we shall count our self blessed, but I am reversing your score, I think that it's 0.1% that actually sticks together - again based on the factor of commonality. -
If that is the case of the 0.1%, then I am VERY blessed that I have a buddy... close brother who is with me for the past 16 years.Originally posted by Chin Eng:ok, we are getting somewhere.
My reason for probing so much was that I did not agree with the statement that true friends do not drift apart. Friendship like everything else is transient. Friends are friends because of common interest. Once this common interest cease to exist, the rationale for this friendship also cease to exist. If someof us are fortunate enough to have the same folks that goes through their whole life together, that we shall count our self blessed, but I am reversing your score, I think that it's 0.1% that actually sticks together - again based on the factor of commonality. -
I am also very blessed as I have another friend who has been with me for over 28 years.Originally posted by Bontakun:If that is the case of the 0.1%, then I am VERY blessed that I have a buddy... close brother who is with me for the past 16 years. -
It's happened to me. I moved onto the next chapter while they were still deep into the previous.Originally posted by breytonhartge:No one likes to think about friendships that come to an end, but sometimes this is the necessary course of action. What are some points to consider when you face this decision? -
hey Jetta, long time no speak... how are you? Hope you are well... have you found a new home yet?Originally posted by jetta:It's happened to me. I moved onto the next chapter while they were still deep into the previous.