by Rabbi Mendy Hecht
A. The Jewish approach to repentance is magnificent in its simplicity--in Judaism, there is no such thing as "repentance."
B. Repentance is called "Teshuvah" in Hebrew, the official language of Judaism. But teshuvah does not mean repentance. It means return.
C. Judaism is about having a relationship with G-d. "Sinning" just means taking a break from that relationship. Teshuvah means returning to it. "Sinning" is a vacation. Teshuvah is getting back on the job.
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How do I do teshuvah?
1. Attitude Adjustment
Firstly, be humble. EGO stands for Edging G-d Out, so chuck it and get nice and stupid as you stand in G-d's Presence (which is everywhere): do you think you're so important that you can do something G-d doesn't want you to do?
2. Verbal Confession
Speak directly to G-d and specify your slip-up. Tell Him you're sorry for what youÂ’ve done wrong, that you regret it, and that you'll do your best to never do it again.
3. Make like a frozen fowl
Go cold turkey. Just stop doing whatever negative Mitzvah you were doing that you shouldn't have been doing, or start doing whatever positive mitzvah you should have been doing, that you weren't doing. At its gut, teshuvah is regret of the past, and resolve towards the future.
4. The Power of Willpower
Mark Twain once said, "Quitting smoking is easy--I've quit 40 times." Obviously, he never tried teshuvah. Teshuvah requires willpower. Willpower is to teshuvah what Super Unleaded is to your car: without willpower, teshuvah just conks out. Whatever mitzvah is your issue, get back in line with it, and stick to it like glue.
5. The Ultimate Teshuvah Test
If you once had an affair, for example, and later, you find yourself alone with that woman, at that same rendezvous, and you don't cave to your raging hormones, congratulations--you've done teshuvah. This is Maimonides' depiction of the willpower of teshuvah. He uses it because there's no greater temptation on earth than sexual desire, and hence no greater example of stalwart willpower than resisting this temptation. If you can do teshuvah for the sins of lust, you can do teshuvah for anything.