Jose's (Half) Season In His Own Words
"We will be in trouble - if we listen to Jose enough," said Sir Fergie. "He should shut the f**k up," said a less polite Edmilson. But the Special One doesn't shut up, as you can see right here... * "Chelsea is very happy and we think English football should be very happy Ballack plays for Chelsea and plays in the Premiership. We have a team of champions and to improve a team of champions we need champions. A champion is coming here to help follow our target for next year" - Okay, this is actually from the end of last season, but we just couldn't resist.
* "How can Michael's arrival affect Lampard and the team? It will affect it a lot because Lampard wants top players to play with him and the team want good players to improve the team" - Likewise this. Ah, that 'improvement'.
* "Today is a day when the dream became reality. Andriy has always been my first choice for Chelsea since I arrived. Before it was not possible, now it is for real. He has great qualities, ambition, discipline, tactical awareness and of course he is a great goalscorer. I did not need to meet with him to convince him about Chelsea, in the same way we did not need to talk a lot about why I wanted him. Everybody knows him as a player, tactically he can play in the Chelsea system no doubt" - No doubt? None at all?
* "Eidur played in English football all his life and three months later he gets that penalty. In England players are not allowed to do that, you don't let them" - No-one at Chelski has ever dived, you know. Ever.
* "They will drop points. We will be top at Christmas, and I think we will be top at the end of the season" - They did, but not many. They weren't. They probably will be, though.
* "Everyone has passion, but it's the way you express it. During 90 minutes I can show my passion for ten minutes but Martin (O'Neill) is 90 minutes. He shouts at everything and he complains about everything. Sometimes it is funny to look at him" - Kettle, meet Pot.
* "Places like this are the soul of English football. The crowd is magnificent, singing 'F**k off Mourinho' and so on" - The Special One misses the point.
* "Hunt clearly fixed his leg to catch Petr. He dropped his knee. He didn't go with the foot to try to catch the ball. He went with his knee at the keeper's head" - Jose accuses Steven Hunt of attempted murder.
* "He is lucky to still be alive. A knee coming at Petr like that, at such speed - the boy was even laughing afterwards. It was unbelievable and players should respect each other more than that" - Indeed, as a result of this Jose rant, Stephen Hunt received death threats for a clearly accidental foul.
* "Mr Hackett told us: 'Please', and he repeated, 'Please, if during the season you are not happy and you want to give a contribution to the game and you think you can give some opinions, please call me or send me an email.' He gave a card to everybody and I brought the card home. After the game against Reading, I almost called him but I decided not to. After the game against Sheffield, I almost called him but I didn't. After the game against Tottenham, I couldn't do anything other than to call him" - And started the season's mangerial trend.
* "I saw the [Arsenal and ManYoo] penalties, nothing changes" - But let's not forget that referees are still biased.
* "Let's start with a song I heard from away fans in two consecutive matches at home: 'Four-nil, and you still don't sing!' Why don't they sing? They're always quiet. For a team with this record at home, I think the players deserve more support. I'm not happy when 1,500 away fans, maximum 3,000, support more than our own people" - He doesn't like his own fans, by the way.
* "This game is more important than Manchester United" - Jose looks forward to the Werder Bremen Champions League clash.
* "I am never happy with a defeat but this is different because we have still qualified for the second stage of the competition" - Jose looks back at the Bremen clash.
* "You cannot trust him. A great player but too much of that" - Remember, no Chelsea players dive. Andy Johnson does, though.
* "First I would like to say I have the utmost respect for Everton football club, David Moyes and their players. That's why I love to play them, and especially at Goodison Park where the atmosphere is magnificent. Secondly, after the match I was clear and said Andy Johnson is a great player and I never used aggressive words, like some managers did against my players in previous seasons, or like some others recently said about him and Ronaldo. I never used the word 'cheat'" - The threat of legal action prompts a climbdown three days later.
* "I want to go into the market but I have told my top people that it is time for other clubs to look at us as a normal club" - 'Normal clubs' don't pay (deep breath) £8m for Tiago, £8m for Asier Del Horno, £7m for Khalid Boulahrouz or £21m for Shaun Wright-Phillips. And that's just the rubbish players.
* "Considering the problems Chelsea have had, Manchester United should be 10, 12, 14 points clear of us" - As of October 1, when both teams had 16 points, Chelski have dropped eight points. To be 14 points ahead, therefore, ManYoo would have to have won every single game. Added to which is the fact that two of Chelski's dropped points came in a draw against, you've guessed it, ManYoo. With the exception of that game, which therefore has made no difference in the teams' relative standings, ManYoo have dropped just four points in over three months.
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