At least Marcus Hahnemann isn't English.
Forget Terry, Owen and Heskey, the biggest worry for Steve McClaren ahead of naming his squad on Friday is that all three goalkeepers in his last squad conceded four goals in this weekend's games.
On Saturday, David James was beaten four times by Reading, including by Dave Kitson following what used to be a trademark rush of the blood. On Monday, Scott Carson was beaten four times by Tottenham. Worst of all - and by some distance - was Paul Robinson's performance in the same Monday game. Some goals were worse than others, but in every case his performance was questionable and it could have been worse. This from England's number-one No 1.
First up, the dropped cross. Second, he was made to look more foolish than he really was by the rebound off Martin Laursen, but was hardly inspiring in his control of his six-yard box. Third, Gabriel Agbonlahor shoots across him at a narrow angle - should there really have been space at the far post for the Villa striker to find the net? Fourth, a rush of blood should have led to a penalty - he went for the ball but did not get it, taking Agbonlahor. The rules are clear enough, whatever the combined brains of Angus Scott, Steve McManaman and Tim Sherwood thought in the Setanta studio. And fifth, he took a fatal step in the wrong direction at exactly the wrong moment to allow Craig Gardner's free-kick past him.
McClaren backed his goalkeeper last month, after the blunder against Germany. And thanks to a lack of pressure from Israel and Russia, Robinson survived. All keepers make mistakes. The question is how they react to them. In Robinson's case, badly.
"You go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel," said Ford Prefect of Zaphod Beeblebrox in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. A dropped cross or a rash challenge in Moscow could make all the difference and what is much more likely to doom England irrevocably is that Russia can then put pressure on Robinson again while he is still trying to pick up his shattered nerves.
I have argued before that if England fail to qualify for Euro 2008 then one of the first jobs of a new coach is to pick a new goalkeeper. The same appears to apply to whoever comes in at Spurs if Martin Jol is replaced, and if the Dutchman is going to keep his job then he may have to bite that bullet sooner rather than later.
McClaren could be one Robinson blunder from losing his job. If that does not come in Moscow and England qualify, then the coach will have to think seriously about treating ruthlessly a goalkeeper who has become a liability and appears to be getting worse.
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All keepers make mistakes. So do all linesmen. One of the officials at White Hart Lane made two similar blunders on Monday.
Martin O'Neill, as well as addressing the penalty Robinson should have conceded, was understandably narked by the clear offside in the closing moments, when Jermain Defoe inadvertently laid the ball back to Younes Kaboul when stood past the last defender.
O'Neill overlooked the decision at the same end in the first half, when Agbonlahor was stood offside, flicked the ball on towards Zat Knight, who headed it back into where Laursen was looming to put Villa ahead (not that he knew much about it).
On Saturday, in contrast, we saw Marcus Bent score a perfectly good goal for Wigan, only to have it wrongly disallowed. Rafa Benitez discovered that the secret to victory is not picking Fernando Torres, but getting the breaks - something that should at least take the edge of Liverpool's complaints when they are the victims of mistakes, though of course it probably won't.
Though I missed the incident, Lawrie Sanchez was furious at Fulham being denied a legitimate goal against Bolton in the Carling Cup last week. I did see Tottenham's first goal against Middlesbrough, when an offside Aaron Lennon blocked the run of a Boro defender yet was allowed to play on by a linesman confounded by the edicts about active play.
I have some sympathy for the officials, especially given FIFA's current ludicrous interpretation of interfering with play. And at Wigan, those home players who were offside perhaps masked the position of the last Liverpool defender relative to Bent. I'm not sure either referee or linesman had much view of whether Paul Robinson got ball or man in the penalty incident that so frustrated Martin O'Neill. If an official isn't sure, the benefit of the doubt should go with the assumption that there has been no offence. But when players are stood offside, linesmen should be getting that decision right.
