
Detailing their private battles over England defender Ashley's move to Spain, 23-year-old Cheryl explained: "Ashley was offered a hell of a lot of money to go...the deal was there on the table.
"I stopped him living his dream playing out there. It made things difficult. I've been through a s**t, horrible relationship before, so I refuse to argue with Ashley. I disagree with him, that's human nature, but I won't get into an abusive relationship again.
"So there was a lot of disagreement, and there were a lot of tears being shed.
"He has always told me never to talk about this, but I think people should know."
The couple—the darlings of celebrity magazines—married in July 2006. The Madrid offer would have seen him move a month later.
Girls Aloud were on their way to their current record total of 17 chart entries.
"I've worked just as hard as he has to get where I am and we spoke about it at length," Cheryl told GQ Magazine.
"Either I'd have had to move out there with him and commute, or give up my career at a time when we'd finally been accepted as a band and it was almost cool to like Girls Aloud."
But now she almost wishes that Ashley, 26, had followed his dream and transferred abroad.
"For the hurt it has caused him and his family, yes," she said simply. "For me and my career—selfish reasons, I know—then no.
"But it would have been equally selfish for him to go there, so there had to be some sort of compromise."
But it was compromise at a high price. He was branded a traitor by his Arsenal fans when, unsettled, he moved instead to London rivals Chelsea in a £20 million deal last year.
"I almost begged Ashley to sign for Chelsea not really knowing what that would mean," she confessed.
"I know a bit about football, growing up in Newcastle, and I know it would be difficult for a player to go from Newcastle to Sunderland, for instance.
"But I didn't realise the extent to which moving from Arsenal to Chelsea would cause so much hurt between the two of us, and to Arsenal fans,"
Cheryl continued. "And for that I do apologise. He wouldn't have got half as much s**t if he had gone there (to Madrid) rather than Chelsea. And I blame myself for a lot of that.
Earlier this summer, Sunderland manager Roy Keane branded henpecked Premiership stars "weak" for being "dictated to by wives and girlfriends".
The former Manchester United hero was livid after one high-profile player rejected a move to the North East because his partner didn't like the local shops.
But for Cheryl, the issues go far deeper — and she is keen to stress the difference between herself and Queen WAG Victoria Beckam, who followed husband David to Real Madrid.
"It's not as easy for Girls Aloud because the band is still performing and recording, whereas the Spice Girls weren't," she said.
"I'd have gone there if I'd been in Victoria's situation. But I wasn't prepared to give up everything I had worked so hard for just so Ashley could realise his dream."
Apart from the anguish over their careers, Cheryl insisted their marriage was strong —and she laughed off gay rumours surrounding Ashley.
"No I can say that categorically, she said. "There was this rumour mill going...and I shouldn't be laughing because he'll go mad at me."
Referring to a story involving bizarre use of a small mobile phone, she added: "Anyway, there were these three mixed-race footballers...
"Ashley likes gossip so he was calling all his mates saying, ‘I hear it's so and so', and then one paper said it was an England star, and I turned to him and said, ‘They'll be saying it's you next'. And someone did. But he sued, they apologised and the compensation paid for my ring."