Funniest Football Quotes

• the Bear

  3 Dec 07, 08:17

  Pete Gill of football365.com about Titus Bramble:
  
  City of London fraud police have been too busy with other matters to spot the crime of the century: Bramble masquerading as a Premiership player for the past seven years.
  
  
• anhydrouscoppersulphate

  3 Dec 07, 16:00

  
• monoslayer

  3 Dec 07, 16:04

  lemme recall......
  
  lampard defending is better than gerrard (or something like tat..)
  
  
• the Bear

  5 Dec 07, 08:16

  Fat Sam Allardyce on football players generally:
  
  Players wouldn't know what to eat or drink after games unless you told them. Once you tell them and persist, then all of a sudden they find out it's the right thing to do.
• the Bear

  6 Dec 07, 09:41

  Adrian Chiles on MOTD2 after Titus Bramble's latest mistake:
  
  If they released a Titus Bramble bloopers DVD, it would be four hours long.
  
• the Bear

  6 Dec 07, 09:52

  this is hilarious
  
  Tranmere fans to Swansea - to the tune of Pink Floyd's Another Brick In The Wall:
  
  Hey, Swansea... leave our sheep alone!
  
• zocoss

  6 Dec 07, 10:05

  Originally posted by monoslayer:

  lemme recall......
  
  lampard defending is better than gerrard (or something like tat..)
  
  

  Hey this one came from our very own Sgforum right...
• turbo_drift

  6 Dec 07, 16:14

  Originally posted by zocoss:

  Hey this one came from our very own Sgforum right...

  i think so.
• lpx88

  6 Dec 07, 16:17

  Originally posted by monoslayer:

  lemme recall......
  
  lampard defending is better than gerrard (or something like tat..)
  
  

  
• pierre^^

  6 Dec 07, 16:26

  Originally posted by lpx88:

  

  i dun understand
  
  wasnt stevie an attk midfiled like lam?
  
• lpx88

  6 Dec 07, 16:28

  Originally posted by pierre^^:

  i dun understand
  
  wasnt stevie an attk midfiled like lam?
  

  i think stevie can play as DM,MC, MR also
• anhydrouscoppersulphate

  6 Dec 07, 16:37

  ya gerrard started out as a DMC
• crimson soldier

  9 Dec 07, 00:16

  "it was a game of two halves"
• the Bear

  24 Dec 07, 09:38

  "I have, somewhat bizarrely, played more training sessions with England at left-back than in goal" - Robert Green reveals exactly where McLaren was going wrong.
  
  
• the Bear

  24 Dec 07, 09:42

  "I'm not prone to outlandish predictions, but this club can establish itself in the top ten, the top eight of the Premier League" - Jewell, speaking to The Times on Thursday.
  
  "If we are to stay in the Premier League, it'll be a miracle" - Jewell, speaking to The Times on Saturday.
  
  
• Kuali Baba

  24 Dec 07, 10:01

  I've got lots. Gordon Strachan is a classic.
  
  Reporter: Gordon, do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the English squad?
  Strachan: I don't care, I'm Scottish.
  
  Reporter: Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play?
  Strachan: If I were English, I'd top myself!
• Kuali Baba

  24 Dec 07, 10:29

  This is what greets the players and fans of Brighton and Cove Albion at their away matches:
  
  "DOES YOUR BOYFRIEND KNOW YOU'RE HERE?"
  
  
  
  And this is for the Welsh, to the tune of 'Cym Rhondda':
  
  "WHAT IS IT LIKE, WHAT IS IT LIKE?
  WHAT'S IT LIKE TO SHAG A SHEEP?"
  
  
  
  And for Chester City FC, to the tune of 'The Addams Family':
  
  "YOUR MOTHER IS YOUR SISTER
  YOUR FATHER IS YOUR BROTHER
  YOU LIKE TO SHAG EACH OTHER
  THE CHESTER FAMILY!"
  
  
• the Bear

  24 Dec 07, 10:38

  Chester City sounds like The Aristocrats
• zocoss

  24 Dec 07, 10:40

  Almunia says he and Lehmann do not even talk.
  
  Asked how he thought the two keepers got on
  
  Wenger laughed: “They are going on holiday together next week.”
• Kuali Baba

  28 Dec 07, 20:17

  Karren Brady, MD of Birmingham City FC, in 1994:
  
  Footballers are only interested in drinking, clothes and the size of their willies.
• the Bear

  28 Dec 07, 20:21

  "If we're talking lookalikes he's Toad of Toad Hall, isn't he?" - Ian Holloway on new Chelsea boss Avram Grant.
• zocoss

  29 Dec 07, 03:30

  "We're not defensive. It's difficult when you can't get the ball. When you haven't got the ball you have to defend that is the logic of football.
  
  Harry Redknapp
• zocoss

  29 Dec 07, 03:33

  Terry Venables Quotes
  
  "If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen"
  
  "I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in"
  
  "It was never part of our plans not to play well, it just happened that way"
  
  "It may have been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target"
  
  "They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around"
  
  "There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way"
  
• zocoss

  29 Dec 07, 03:36

  "I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona"
  
  "The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game"
  
  "England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none"
  
  Kevin Keegan
• omgukilledkenny

  29 Dec 07, 13:12

  "I didn't know it was against the rules."
  Cabofriense defender Cleberson after being booked for kissing the referee during a 3-1 defeat by Botafogo at the Maracana.
  
  "Well I'm the Prince and I'm sort of slaying a dragon - which is something I've never done before, obviously."
  David Beckham on his role in Disney's Dream Portrait ads.
  
  "There's more chance of me flying Concorde to the moon blindfolded than there is of you taking Wales to the World Cup."
  What Robbie Savage reportedly told Wales manager John Toshack. At least he's not bitter.
  
  "I think the Bosman thing is a pile of donkey dung."
  BBC Sport columnist Ian Holloway, the former Plymouth manager, after learning midfielder Tony Capaldi was considering his future.
  
  "I would love to gather all the fans together to say goodbye but they would crush me with their love."
  Jose is as modest as ever on leaving Stamford Bridge.