Funniest Football Quotes
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An irony-free Ronaldo said this:
David Beckham can be my private English teacher.
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Keegan is a philosopher in football man..
'I'm not disappointed - just disappointed.'
'Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose.'
'That would have been a goal if it wasn't saved.'
'I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different.'
'Young Gareth Barry - he's young'
'The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23'
'We are three games without defeat is another way of looking at it. But if we are honest we have taken two points from nine'
'I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again' -
hahaha omg Keegan!
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I think Ron Atkinson can do a comedy act with Keegan..
'If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half time, it was concentration and focus.'
'They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match.'
'Woodcock would have scored, but his shot was too perfect.'
'...and he [Peter Schmeichel] extends and grows even bigger than he is.'
'Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.'
'Zero-zero is a big score.' -
'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka
'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo (Brazil)
'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper
'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan Collymore
'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate
'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush
'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas
'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison (ex-Liverpool)
'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham in his Man Utd days
'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.' - David Beckham
Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.' -
Ian Rush: Being in Italy is like being in a foreign country.
Or something like that -
Full quote aboveOriginally posted by Agenda:Ian Rush: Being in Italy is like being in a foreign country.
Or something like that -
from gordon strachan
Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."
Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.
Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?
Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.
Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.
Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.
Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.
Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.
Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.
Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.
Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...
Strachan was on Sky on Sunday morning. He saw John Terry's goal and said he was impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasted this to Claus Lundekvam the Saints central defender who goes up for every dead ball and never ever looks remotely like scoring. He said if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which he said is more than Lundekvam can manage. He said referees should book Lundekvam for timewasting every time he goes up for a corner. When the co-commentator said if Lundekvam was watching Strachan was only joking. Strachan assured him he was deadly serious. -
An EPL spokesperson's reaction to the news that heading the ball causes brain damage:
I don't think heading the ball has got anything to do with it. Footballers are stupid enough anyway.
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Originally posted by Kuali Baba:An EPL spokesperson's reaction to the news that heading the ball causes brain damage:
I don't think heading the ball has got anything to do with it. Footballers are stupid enough anyway. -
"When he was carried off at Leicester someone asked me if he was unconscious, but I didn't have a clue - that's what he's always like."Originally posted by Father Lim:from gordon strachan
Strachan was on Sky on Sunday morning. He saw John Terry's goal and said he was impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasted this to Claus Lundekvam the Saints central defender who goes up for every dead ball and never ever looks remotely like scoring. He said if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which he said is more than Lundekvam can manage. He said referees should book Lundekvam for timewasting every time he goes up for a corner. When the co-commentator said if Lundekvam was watching Strachan was only joking. Strachan assured him he was deadly serious. -
Gordon Strachan:
".....The ref said: 'If I make a mistake don't make me look an idiot.' I had a great reply lined up but it would have cost me a couple of quid....."
i love his quotes -
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"I am not the 'Special One'. I'm the normal one. But my wife says I am special. What am I like? I am 180cm."
New Chelsea manager Avram Grant has them rolling in the aisles in his first press conference.
"Lampsy, I reckon. The girls like him a little bit. If I was that way I'd see something in him."
Chelsea captain John Terry when asked by the club's TV station to name the best-looking player in the squad.
"There's a few ugly ones. Carlo is probably the best looking."
Lampard plumps for Carlo Cudicini. -
"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."
Jose Mourinho uses his post-FA Cup final speech to reassure the population that his runaway Yorkie has left the country.
"The style of how we play is very important. But it is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
Mourinho was desperate for Chelsea to scramble a win from somewhere.
"I would love to gather all the fans together to say goodbye but they would crush me with their love."
Jose is as modest as ever on leaving Stamford Bridge. -
"We were good friends until we started winning, then he started changing his mind" – Rafael Benitez on the departed Jose Mourinho. -
ITV's Fantasy Football on Sven-Göran Eriksson:
You look at Sven and you think, 'He's a pharmacist...he should be saying, "Here's your pile ointment."' -
Originally posted by zocoss:
"i'm always forcusing on the Teams's COACHING & TRAINING.. -
Disappointed Manchester City fan and Oasis member Noel Gallagher:
I've had enough. As soon as I get home I'm gonna buy that club. I'm going to walk in and say, "You - fuck off; you - fuck off; you - fuck off; you - make me a cup of tea." -
Michael Owen: "I've worked my nuts off to get here."
Sky Sports interviewer: "How are you feeling now?"
Owen: "My groin is a bit sore."
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"Ryan O'Leary had to come on in the second half because Simon Ford was feeling his groin at half-time."
Comment from Kilmarnock Manager Jim Jeffries after the game v Hearts.
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"I'd compare him to the incomparable George Best."
David Pleat singing Cristiano Ronaldo's praises during Man Utd's win over Roma.
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"If there is a qualified referee in the ground please can he make himself known to a steward."
PA at half-time at Craven Cottage during Fulham v Boro game during which the referee and linesman had a nightmare. -
Originally posted by the Bear:
He can release a sequel after Saturday's Everton match.
Adrian Chiles on MOTD2 after [b]Titus Bramble's latest mistake:
If they released a Titus Bramble bloopers DVD, it would be four hours long.
[/b]