ASHLEY LOOKALIKE ASSAULTED
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Fat and Geordie? Better watch your back
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Who says Mike Ashley doesn't understand Newcastle fans? After being ridiculed for saying he felt under threat, it's emerged that an Ashley lookalike has been attacked in a case of mistaken identity. Tyneside's population of chirpy little cockneys has been warned to stay indoors.
It's no fun being fat, or being a Newcastle fan. But now it seems anyone bearing those twin afflictions could be in for more strife, after a bloke who looks like Mike Ashley was attacked in a case of mistaken identity.
Season-ticket owner Alan McKenna was enjoying a drink with his cousins when another fan took a swing at him, believing he was Ashley. The trouble continued at St James' Park on Saturday, when the restaurant owner was stopped in the toilets by another fan who believed he was the club's hated owner.
"I have been mistaken for Mike Ashley quite a lot, even though I don't think we are that similar," said McKenna, who apart from a fondness for seconds, is hardly an identical twin.
"When he was popular, people would often come and pat me on the back if I was walking through Newcastle, telling me what a great job I was doing. But now the abuse has really started."
The case brings up horrible echoes of the days when pediatricians were targetted by angry mobs of vigilante parents, and also goes some way to justifying Ashley's claim that he felt physically threatened by the club's protest.
"I think I'm going to have to get a Newcastle shirt with 'I'm not Mike' on the back," continued McKenna. "I never used to mind looking like Mike Ashley - but after all this abuse, I've changed my mind!"
At least it McKenna may lose a bit of weight now...
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ASHLEY LOOKALIKE ASSAULTED
Mike Ashley has announced that he wants rid of the club and is prepared to sell
Mike Ashley's claim that he could no longer attend Newcastle United games due to the risk of assault has proved prophetic for one unfortunate lookalike of the Toon owner after he was assaulted in a city-centre restaurant.
In his farewell statement published on Sunday night after a weekend of demonstrations against him, Ashley described himself as 'a dad who can't take his kids to a football game on a Saturday because I am advised that we would be assaulted'.
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he bought the club for 134 million and now wants to sell at 400 million. just 16 months and a 266 million pounds profit.