Just a simple question
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Does anyone ever learn from their break up?
Or do they linger in their sadness, singing their lament, but never thinking about what went wrong, and learn from their mistakes? -
I dont learn in a break up ....
Coz, end of the day, right and wrong is difficult to distingush ...
U can be a perfect guy for tat gal but end of the day, u will find yrself merely a thing with no feelings... -
Forget about ex...
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So if we do not learn from our break ups, we just treat them like a discarded trash?
How can we improve, then? -
Me no experience leh. How to learn?Originally posted by binarynwitz:Does anyone ever learn from their break up?
Or do they linger in their sadness, singing their lament, but never thinking about what went wrong, and learn from their mistakes?
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By understanding, showing care and concern base on yr feelings is enough to maintain a relationship...
U do not need to purposely change what u r just to fit on some1... Coz, every change tat u make is every stress induced to u ... -
take for example :
if yr ex gf left u for a rich guy,yr lesson learnt is to be a rich guy ,meh ???
cannot be wat... -
I constantly remind myself to control my temper. That's what I have learn from break-ups
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A relationship involves much more than just understanding, showing care & concern, doesn't it? I didn't say to change what you are, just to fit someone.Originally posted by ispyyy:By understanding, showing care and concern base on yr feelings is enough to maintain a relationship...
U do not need to purposely change what u r just to fit on some1... Coz, every change tat u make is every stress induced to u ...
I mean change, to improve yourself.
The lesson would be to be a better judge of character?Originally posted by ispyyy:take for example :
if yr ex gf left u for a rich guy,yr lesson learnt is to be a rich guy ,meh ???
cannot be wat...
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So if you do not have any experience, then why are you replying to this thread, much less with a seemingly sarcastic tone?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:Me no experience leh. How to learn?
It is a question that's meant for those relevant, obviously.
Forgive me if I misinterpret, but I have no experience at guessing sarcasm over the internet. -
One should improve for himself but not improve just because for relationship... Of coz, if u think tat u r in a wrong, then u can improve yrself... Like wat I say, it is difficult to distingush between right and wrong in a relationship...Originally posted by binarynwitz:A relationship involves much more than just understanding, showing care & concern, doesn't it? I didn't say to change what you are, just to fit someone.
I mean change, to improve yourself.
For love, even if I noe the person's character is bad, I will still fall for it... Or rather, if I can go back to the past, I will still choose to be with her... Even I noe the results in the end...Originally posted by binarynwitz:The lesson would be to be a better judge of character?
Then, how abt u??? if u can go back to the past, will u still choose to be with her??? -
U can only learn from relationship if after the breakup, there is still communication between u and her. Then from her views, then u can gather wat went wrong. Then get a 3rd party (a close friend) to assess the feedback and your views on her feedback. Then maybe u will know wat REALLY went wrong.
Note that the close friend needs to be a friends of both parties, preferred very neutral type of friend who wont not side with u easily.
The close friend also should be someone whom have been with you while u dated her and at least went out with u both on several occasions to be able to tell who is speaking the truth and also perferrable to be present during the breakup.
COS, it never easy for anyone to realise their mistakes, even being told face to face by the one u loved... u will still want to get a second opinion... sign -
most of the time, i learnt from previous bad r/s.
but some mistakes/ habits hard to change. -
lol... the third party tat u r refering will be very stress... lolOriginally posted by Glennyek:U can only learn from relationship if after the breakup, there is still communication between u and her. Then from her views, then u can gather wat went wrong. Then get a 3rd party (a close friend) to assess the feedback and your views on her feedback. Then maybe u will know wat REALLY went wrong.
Note that the close friend needs to be a friends of both parties, preferred very neutral type of friend who wont not side with u easily.
The close friend also should be someone whom have been with you while u dated her and at least went out with u both on several occasions to be able to tell who is speaking the truth and also perferrable to be present during the breakup.
COS, it never easy for anyone to realise their mistakes, even being told face to face by the one u loved... u will still want to get a second opinion... sign -
I would.Originally posted by ispyyy:For love, even if I noe the person's character is bad, I will still fall for it... Or rather, if I can go back to the past, I will still choose to be with her... Even I noe the results in the end...
Then, how abt u??? if u can go back to the past, will u still choose to be with her???
The problem between us was miscommunication and the lack of trust. It drifted us apart. And I suppose I did not know how to handle a relationship then.
If you were to only take a step back, slowly think about what happen and look at it from a third person's point of view, you can usually pin-point what's wrong.Originally posted by Glennyek:U can only learn from relationship if after the breakup, there is still communication between u and her. Then from her views, then u can gather wat went wrong. Then get a 3rd party (a close friend) to assess the feedback and your views on her feedback. Then maybe u will know wat REALLY went wrong.
Note that the close friend needs to be a friends of both parties, preferred very neutral type of friend who wont not side with u easily.
The close friend also should be someone whom have been with you while u dated her and at least went out with u both on several occasions to be able to tell who is speaking the truth and also perferrable to be present during the breakup.
COS, it never easy for anyone to realise their mistakes, even being told face to face by the one u loved... u will still want to get a second opinion... sign
The only thing is whether you're clear-headed enough to do it. It's never easy, I suppose.
But whoever said life is easy?
If you know it's a mistake, shouldn't you learn from it, no matter how hard it is?Originally posted by Cool-gal:most of the time, i learnt from previous bad r/s.
but some mistakes/ habits hard to change.
Time does nothing good to us, except give us experience. -
Relationship need to take two hands to clap... Relationship is never one sided...Originally posted by binarynwitz:I would.
The problem between us was miscommunication and the lack of trust. It drifted us apart. And I suppose I did not know how to handle a relationship then.
For me :
In working life, I will learn... Try to constantly improve myself... tolerating things tat r beyond my own limit control... I can have many different personalities to handle different people...
But to find a life companionship , I prefer to be my ownself... To act on what my heart wants me to do... Even I cant find any suitable mate, I prefer to be myself alone... At least, I hold a certain percentage of my true self in my entire life... -
I never said I was the ONLY one at fault.Originally posted by ispyyy:Relationship need to take two hands to clap... Relationship is never one sided...
For me :
In working life, I will learn... Try to constantly improve myself... tolerating things tat r beyond my own limit control... I can have many different personalities to handle different people...
But to find a life companionship , I prefer to be my ownself... To act on what my heart wants me to do... Even I cant find any suitable mate, I prefer to be myself alone... At least, I hold a certain percentage of my true self in my entire life...
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So what use is those broken relationships, if you do not learn from them? I'm not saying a total change.
Merely a subtle change. To learn to be more patient, for example. -
wat use is those broken relationship ???Originally posted by binarynwitz:I never said I was the ONLY one at fault.
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So what use is those broken relationships, if you do not learn from them? I'm not saying a total change.
Merely a subtle change. To learn to be more patient, for example.
To enjoy bitterness, sourness of it... tat is life...
It is one of the criteria to live without regrets....
To enjoy bitterness, sourness, sweetness, hot in life... From those feelings, u will automatically understand more about yrself and more about humans... Rather to say those above as experience , I will say those as a term called
"MATURE" -
And also called improving.
Though I must say that for some, maturity does not come bungled with improvements and intelligence. -
SIanz.. you misinterpret wrongly liao..Originally posted by binarynwitz:So if you do not have any experience, then why are you replying to this thread, much less with a seemingly sarcastic tone?
It is a question that's meant for those relevant, obviously.
Forgive me if I misinterpret, but I have no experience at guessing sarcasm over the internet.
What I meant is I really no experience lah.. -
I would said... when a relationship is developing, both of u should learn to accept his/her weakness/mistake... that is what i can call "love"
I believe starting the few months, the love is so passionate but till to certain time, u started to hate his/her weakness.. -
well i'm sure u can learn something else from this example. e.g, i'm pretty sure there'll be minor signs when the "love" in a relationship is fading. so in this case, you'll learn that u can't put too much faith in girls like her. i'm not saying that u can tell that a girl will stick with you through thick or thin at first glance. but at least u learn that such people do exist and it is hard to find the perfect one for you.Originally posted by ispyyy:take for example :
if yr ex gf left u for a rich guy,yr lesson learnt is to be a rich guy ,meh ???
cannot be wat... -
"the world is round, we'd meet again someday."
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The world is big... let not meet each other again... >.<Originally posted by Ito_^:"the world is round, we'd meet again someday." -
world getting smaller. and i just installed a gps chip in your brain. u have nowhere to hide. muahahaha.Originally posted by popikachu:The world is big... let not meet each other again... >.<