A moment just for the broken hearts
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Wow.
Didn't realise it's that long.
For those who don't want to read...
This is for those who feels safe enough to write about their past relationships. -
im very touched by your efforts posting them
one day i will write out my story too
the day is soon -
i think i will start typing then out on wordpad...
and see how long it gets... then ... i MIGHT or might not post... -
its touching..
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It is actually written quite a while ago, and was published on my blog.
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im gona type mine nowOriginally posted by binarynwitz:It is actually written quite a while ago, and was published on my blog.
might take a while...
but im posting it here if u dun mind. -
This thread IS for you all to post.Originally posted by rathcycle:im gona type mine now
might take a while...
but im posting it here if u dun mind. -
1/2 way le.
im tired typing
my hands a little tired...
i hope i can post before 2.10 am -
might have missed out some parts,
cuz i type them in a hurry
but... this is my story.
a recent 1...
infact the "break up" was just hours ago.
i was sure,
she was the one i loved
not a crush
not an infatuation
I tried to woo her, she was the typical next girl type of girl, kind of pretty, excelled in sports, get along well with everyone else. I got her number, messaged her, talked with her on msn, got close, met her to go to school together, it was a mere crush at that time, i didn't knew. Her birthday was approaching, therefore i went with a friend to shop for a birthday present for her. Finally found something she liked, a chips and dale puzzle. She loves chips and dale. As i was about to walk into the shop, i got a beep, it was her, she messaged me, told me she just became attached with a guy. I was shattered, deeply. After my friends consoles, i became stronger. I tried on different occasions to woo girls i had infatuations on, they didn't succeed of course. I slowly went with friends to pubs and bars and hook up girls, but i found that it wasn't what i want. Therefore, I became asexual.
I stopped liking girls, instead i start to hate girls, but at the same time, I'm not gay, i do not like guys. So i remained as an asexual for quite some time.
Until, i got into big trouble, i stopped going to school. I was detest, condemned and cast away by what i use to call friends and classmates. She came up to me, told me to cheer up, smile and do not bother about those classmates. Suddenly, i felt just so happy. I cheered up, for the next few days, even when i did not see her, i was more cheerful. I was very happy, really. Never had the feeling, never before, never again. I would call it first love. Anyway, few days later, i contacted her via Msn, i found out that she had some problems too, she was anorexic, therefore she didn't go to school for a long 6 months. For the first time in my life, i was worried about a girl, i thought i knew what love was. Subsequently, i went out with her, to the movies, and accompanying her to the doctors, bought her stuffs, took photos with her. Those were the few happiest days in my life. But as she was anorexic, she walked a lot, i walked with her, the furthest was from Plaza singapura to Tiong bahru plaza, other long distance walks are from SGH to vivo city, to and fro. I didn't mind, although friends know that I'm a very lazy person, normally if its just a bus stop away, i would hail for a cab, but for her, i changed. We kept contact, until one day, i messaged her, i told her i missed her, just because i did not see her for a few days. She replied me that she treat me as friends, i tried to take this blow, and act as if nothing had happened, so i messaged back, that i missed her as a friend. Subsequently, she came to my house, to cook, i helped her in the process, when she finished cooking in the kitchen, she went to my sofa, sat down, and told me to sit beside her, she then rested on my shoulder. I felt super happy, never like this before. That night, she messaged me, she wanted to call me her loved one, i was surprised to receive such a message, didn't she said we are just friends ? So i waited for the next day, she told me to cook her something, which i did. I then went to meet her at her church, brought her the stuffs, she passed me a card, and smiled skittishly.
I look at it, this is what it wrote, To dearest (my name), the only and only
. from (her name). Thanks for all. Lucky to have you to support me. Really appreciate you so much. Never find i realised how important you are to me but now i know, I'm really very happy spending time with you, i feel freedom and there is still people who truly cares and good to me, and thats you. It's my first tyme cooking at a guys home, ope you don't think im clumsy. From now onwards, no matter what, we must share our problems yeah . Really wish that we could be as good as now till the end of time. Next time, if you are upset, look at our pic alright, it helps me to be happier. . you can try. Take good cares, loves. [you are the one, never be replaced]. ((END))
I was very touched, first time a girl wrote such stuffs for me, i almost teared, but i didn't. She then gave me a kiss on my cheek and held my hands. She told me she loved me because i was her guardian angel. We went on for a few days, talking and going out, those were the days. Then she had an appointment with the doctor, i lost contact with her. I later learn that she was hospitalised, my close friend who i don't really know, he helped me by calling the hospital and help me checked, i went to her ward the next day, i was scolded by her dad for visiting her. Her mum then call me to screw me on the phone, it wasn't even my fault. But at least, i saw her. I also learn that her handphone was confiscated by her parents, thus she was unable to contact me. It was okay. I then wrote a poem
missing you
knowing you was sick
i was worried sick
tried everything
just to contact you
didn't knew parents forbid
went on to visit
saw you pale and weak
your dad saw me
got screwed instead
its just two days
i couldn't even sleep
im missing you so
i wonder when
can i ever see you
told you to eat
didn't want to
you promised you won't
but you went forward uncaringly
who would understand
my plight my situation
standing here so sad
taking all blames
understand your parents
they love you
but i do too
who would ever spare a thought
just for me
a young child
who's in love with you
you told me
look at our photos when im down
but it just makes me miss you more
right here waiting
just for you
never be replaced
by anyone else, forever.
Then i became sadden for a few days. Of course, i must see her, i missed her. I then went and visit her secretly. To my surprise, her dad wasn't there, i said a hi and get well soon and left, she seemed okay, i was pleased to see that. I then proceed to the florist to buy some flowers to be delivered to her. The next day, as usual, i was online on msn, i saw her online, but isn't she suppose to be inside the hospital. But anyway, this was what she told me. She told me she didn't love me, she was making use of me. I told her i would be persistant, i would not give up, and i will wait for her to recover. I do not believe that it was her typing at all. Maybe her parents was the one typing, maybe her friends was the one typing, maybe its really her who really wants to break up. But whatever it is. Thanks for everything, i love you lp, it was love. <3 -
thats about it
a sweet summary of a recent relationship
the best i had so far
very sad now.
thats why whichever thread i go
i ask for people to console me
im damn sad.
hope some 1 understands me. -
ahh thats nice..
well take care bro! -
sorry for being very briefOriginally posted by FBI:ahh thats nice..
well take care bro! -
hey bro i was kinda confused a little with the names but the girl u are talking about this N girl is the same girl all throughout right? cause i was kinda confused after the marcus part, did u use different initials for Nic?
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touching...take care
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N is the girl I'm talking about, all throughout the post.Originally posted by coffeeortea:hey bro i was kinda confused a little with the names but the girl u are talking about this N girl is the same girl all throughout right? cause i was kinda confused after the marcus part, did u use different initials for Nic?
Nic is a guy, a good mutual friend of ours. -
ahh ok, i just wanna know though, do you both still keep contact though gone separate ways?Originally posted by binarynwitz:N is the girl I'm talking about, all throughout the post.
Nic is a guy, a good mutual friend of ours. -
Yes, we do.Originally posted by coffeeortea:ahh ok, i just wanna know though, do you both still keep contact though gone separate ways? -
still close friends ?Originally posted by binarynwitz:Yes, we do. -
Im selling tissues for $2 a pack.
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xiaoOriginally posted by euc:Im selling tissues for $2 a pack.
ntuc got 4$ for 5 boxes -
ahh well...
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right, so i'll give a very brief intro of my love life cause im gonna hit the sack real soon. i'll come back to clear things up tomorrow though.
ever since pri sch, i was attracted to this one girl, even while i left singapore to study overseas, and came back during sec sch. nothing really happened in pri sch but then in sec sch was where it all started.
i was really shy back in pri sch, and then i only had the balls in sec sch to ask her out and stuff. soon enough, we got really close, all the way till sec 3. having late night suppers and going over to each other's place for meals. i still remember the night when she said she was kinda hungry at 2 am, and i said brb on msn, and showed up at her doorstep with the food that she likes.
" omg are you crazy? i was just saying but i didn't really mean it "
" well i am crazy, but its ok la if you don't want it i can always bring it home and give it to someone else ( i said this in a really joking manner, already beaming at the sight of her, i always do this, cause i realised its easier to treat girls that i like as friends to avoid any awkwardness )"
"come in la silly but don't make too much noise cause my bro's sleeping"
so i stepped in and for the first time, i felt kinda nervous. no matter how much i convinced myself that she is a friend, another voice in my head keeps saying "omfg this is the girl that you had a crush on since pri sch all the way till now!! its been what 5 years?". then i got kinda nervous and i was kinda quiet in her room initially while she was eating. she broke the silence by asking if i wanted some, and i jokingly said " only if you'd feed me ". she rolled her eyes and fed me anyway.
so then the night ended and she walked me out to flag a cab. though the walk was about 5 mins, many thoughts were already racing through my head. should i pop the question? that i had longed to ask for ages.
no.. yes.. no.. yes.. no... what if she says no? what if she says yes? should i give her a hug? what would i do? i don't know what to do, someone please help me.
we reached the main road and there was barely a taxi in sight. so we started talking, about how school was like. we were from different schools, yet we still managed to keep in contact, and even better, become close friends. maybe a little too close, you'll know when u read on.
" hey X, there's something i feel that you should know. i know this is kinda sudden but i need to let you know that i'm in love with you, ever since the day i met you in pri sch, and throughout the time i was in the states, i was missing you, and i each day, i look forward to coming back to singapore to see you again. when you emailed to ask how i was doing over in usa, and you left your number so that i could contact you when i was back, i was overjoyed, i felt euphoric and i thought i was the luckiest boy alive. after being through so much, i really wish that you would give me a chance, to shower you with all the love and care that i can provide you with. i want to spend time with you, go through thick and thin with you, and i feel that without you, my life is incomplete."
she looked at me with her darling eyes.
"omg, this is so unexpected.. i always thought we were really good friends, i really loved it that way, and im really thankful that i have you as one of my closer friends. you know i don't like relationships, at least for now, and i haven't had one for 3 years because i feel that i'm not ready yet. i'm... sorry."
i kinda expected that answer already, so i just smiled at her.
"it's okay, i understand. i think you better go home now, it's really late and i'll just wait here for a taxi."
"but you'll be alone here and i don't really see any taxis around"
i smile at her again and say
"i'm really fine, here let me walk you back home then"
"then what about y..."
"shhhh, i'm ok so don't worry"
so i walked her all the way back to her unit, and before i left, she said
" hey.. call me when you're home safe ok "
i smiled back
"sure"
so when i reached home, i gave her a call.
"hey i'm back home, whats up piggy?"
the awkward silence that never happens before set in again.
"oh about just now, i'm sorry and i really hope you'll give me time, i'm just.. not ready yet"
"oh i'm fine, don't worry about it, i'm just kinda tired now and i really wanna sleep so i'll talk to you soon."
"ah.. ok.. sweet dreams you.. "
"byee"
after i hung up, i just laid on my bed, i was devastated. that was my first fall, and a real big one too. so then life went on normally, and i continued pursuing her, until one day, when i asked her the question yet another time. she said
"yknow something, i always thought that you were and still are one of the best friends that i could ever have, and you hold a special place in my heart. the thing is, i never want to lose you as a friend ever. i hope you understand"
from then on, i knew we could never be together, it still haunts me sometimes, even till now, cause i think she was the perfect one for me. i finally gave up 2 years go after about 7 years, im 18 turning 19 this year now.
all i can say is, for most of the girls that i have really liked, i'm always just a good friend to them. i used to and sometimes think, why is life always so unfair, why is it so hard to find that special someone for me. the girls that i were in a relationship with were short, lasting only a few months, and i was never REALLY happy with them.
now, i think i should wait for the special one for me. because, it seems the harder i try to look for her, the further she runs away from me.
sigh. -
$1.99 a pack here wif a FREE hug~~Originally posted by euc:Im selling tissues for $2 a pack. -
See if i free to post my 2 and half year of childish relationship anot ^^