When She Say "I Just Want to Be Friends"
-
When She Say "I Just Want to Be Friends" ... And what do you do about it?
Came across this article on the net....I added some of my own thoughts to it so this piece of work is not entirely by me. Anyway, you guys tell me if what I'm sharing is true.
I think that probably every guy have more or less been through the below experience before :
1) Meet girl.
2) Get along well with girl.
3) Feel attracted to girl and think she is attracted to you.
4) Tell girl that you like her (after lotsa alcohol sometimes).
5) Girl disappears.
6) Call girl 999 times, but still no response.
7) Finally girl turns up and says "I only like you as a friend and sorry if I hurt you".
Ouch! I know it's painful, trust me I just been through it but you might take comfort knowing that this has happened to me and just about every guy I know MANY times.
Let me try to explaine what's going on here, and hopefully help you guys and the others reading this to avoid this kind of thing as much as possible in the future. If it helps that is.
From my perspective, there are a few main issues going on here all at once...
1) Women are complex and often illogical or rather in my own words contradictary.(So are men, but in different ways)
Women act on emotion and intuition more than men. They don't do the "logical" thing as often as men. Women walk into Starbucks and order a "fat free" cafe mocha, and then get WHIPPED CREAM on top. No kidding. I see it all the time...Women will go through a full closet of clothing trying to choose something to wear to the supermarket, then conclude that "there's nothing to wear in here"
Again, men have their bizarre behaviors, and I'm not trying to badmouth women... but from my experience women are usually not very LOGICAL about things... and they're ESPECIALLY illogical when it comes to relationships. Men are perfectly logical(Or rather too logical). They want to have sex with everything and everyone. Women aren't. They only want to have sex with men who DON'T want to have sex with them. My point is that you have to put your ideas about how things "should" be OUT OF YOUR MIND. Start a new way of thinking about things based on reality and not logic.
2) Women are attracted to men for reasons that most men either don't know, don't understand, or won't accept.
As I like to say, "Attraction Isn't A Choice".
We don't think about who we'd like to feel attraction for, it just happens on it's own in most cases. But the thing to remember is that attraction has a pattern. It's like a combination lock or a puzzle. There is a way to create it if you know the "recipe". On the other hand, if you DON'T know the recipe, then you're not likely to figure it out by trial and error. And the reason for this again is because IT'S NOT LOGICAL.
While men are attracted mostly to looks, women are attracted mostly to character. In the above situation, we displayed the personality trait that I refer to as wussy a little too early in the game. Women generally aren't attracted to men who get too lovey-dovey and emotional too quickly. There's no mystery or challenge when you fall in love immediately. And when you call like 31 times a day, it only makes the problem worse. What you need to do in these situations is to sit back more and give her some space. Give her room to think about you and miss you. I know it works...trust me.
3) The way that women communicate isn't always as "direct and straightforward" as most of us guys would like.
If a woman wants to tell you that she isn't interested in you in a romantic way, she'll often NOT tell you as her way of telling you. In other words, she might just disappear for awhile. Or she might not return calls quickly. Or she might talk about other guys with you...basically, again you have to put the concept of pure, rational logic out of your mind when it comes to the world of attraction.
Women are subtle. They read into things and try to tell you things indirectly. Women don't generally take what you say at face value. They want to know what everything REALLY means.
If you meet a girl, and after the first date you say "I really like you, you're beautiful and I have feelings for you" they think you said "I'm a Wuss because I fall in love too quickly". On the other hand, if you say "Good night, give me a call sometime" she'll think you said "You were kind of boring, and if you want to talk to me again you're going to have to call me".
There is no exact thing to say, but just think like a woman before you say it out. At least you try to get most of the grounds covered. It helps A LOT.
4) It's difficult to un-do one of these situations once it has reached this point.
Unfortunately, once a woman has "made up her mind" about a guy, it's usually VERY difficult to change that mind.
If you're in a situation like this where a woman has said "I only like you as a friend", then you're best off going out and meeting some other women, and getting on with your life immdediately! I did. Don't wait. Get on with it.
If you disappear from her life, then turn up a month or two later... and you're dating a few other attractive women... she might see you in a new light.
Jealousy is a very powerful motivator to women, and this is often what it takes to get a woman to see you in a new light once you've let out your wussy self too early in the game.
Don't try to un-do it. Just get on with your life and quit obsessing over her. Even if you can't help yourself, dun let her know. duh! -
david tao - pu tong peng you...
I add in Zhang hui mei - Zhi dao...
-
方力申 邓丽欣 - 好心好报
-
loser, i rather be frens wif her while my feelings are known
-
woah
-
i think u think too much
-
陶喆- 王八蛋
-
she wants to be friends doesnt mean the sex doesnt start/has to stop.
-
there you go
-
I think the society today has changed.
-
Totally agree. SO many girls have sex with guys even though they are not bf/gf, or even when they have a BF already they still go ahead and have sex with other guys. Society is changing now. Get a grip guys. Girls are also having multiple sex partners outside. No surprise. Haha.
-
hanor...
y cant the girls get it!
i said i just wanna be friends!
so bug off!
-
I think it's the other way round.
-
hanar hanar!
-
tsk tsk the world has become more and more complicated...
tsk tsk tsk... comunication has become harder and harder...
tsk tsk tsk tsk...
-
Looking at the replies, I'm beginning to think I'm old school...
*Suddenly Callan feels very lonely*
-
fren fren lah... mai steady lah..... :lol:
-
Originally posted by aHGer^83:
fren fren lah... mai steady lah..... :lol:
nobody talking about going steady here leh.
-
wah so cheeeeeeem wor
-
Originally posted by Callan:
nobody talking about going steady here leh.
duwan be fren, of cos the guy wanna gia steady with the girl, den piak paik few times, den dump the ger one mah.... that y ger duwan gia steady with guy...that y ger tell guy "let's be friends"right?
-
Originally posted by aHGer^83:
duwan be fren, of cos the guy wanna gia steady with the girl, den piak paik few times, den dump the ger one mah.... that y ger duwan gia steady with guy...that y ger tell guy "let's be friends"right?
Please hor, my standard like that one meh?
-
wat u see is not really wat u see? lol
-
Originally posted by Callan:
Please hor, my standard like that one meh?
u say guy.. u nv say u.. unless u wanna be the guy in my sentence?? hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahah -
Originally posted by RaTtY8l:
wat u see is not really wat u see? lol
Sorry, but I dun really understand what you meant.
-
Originally posted by aHGer^83:
u say guy.. u nv say u.. unless u wanna be the guy in my sentence?? hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahI wish I can be like that. But so far cannot le. Can teach me? I want to be badboy.