Perhaps the one time we would welcome the cries of a child is during child birth.
That moment signals the beginning of a new chapter in a couple’s life and the end of nine testing months for the mother.
But those who know say the final hours before the child is born are
perhaps the most emotionally charged, and physically draining- not just
for the women.
To a much lesser degree, the husbands who choose to be present in the labour ward also go through a rollercoaster ride.
Mubin Saadat reports from the frontlines of the labour ward:
From the days when all the man had to do was sit at home and wait for
the bundle of joy to arrive, his role in childbirth has changed
significantly.
Men are now drawn in throughout the entire process- from ante natal appointments to childbirth classes.
But it’s the final hours of childbirth in the labour ward that probably
have the greatest impact on the husband - that is, if he lasts the
process.
Dr Chee Jing Jye, Head of Peripartum Unit, KK Women's and Children's
Hospital details the extent to which husbands can get involved in the
birthing process.
" In KK hospital husbands were first allowed in the labour ward in the
1990s. That's when we started having single beds in the labour ward.
And husbands are encouraged to support their wife during labour as well
as share with them the birthing experience. For patients who deliver
vaginally, the husband can stay with the wife in the delivery suite
throughout the labour. After the delivery, the husbands can opt to cut
the umbilical cord. In selected cases the husbands can even accompany
their wives into the operating theatre should the need for a caesarean
section arise. "
Nowadays, the husband’s presence in the labour ward is common place.
Some husbands play the role of a spectator, while most are active participants in the process.
Dr Jazlan Joosoph, Specialist in Obstetric and Gynaecology at Raffles Hospital:
" By and large, the vast majority of husbands would like to be present,
would like to participate as much as they can in the labour process.
Very exceptional cases would be when the husband has a phobia for blood
or bodily fluid and they are not comfortable at all being in the labour
ward. This very rarely happens. I have had a few patients like that.
The husbands choose to stay away and wait outside the room until the
whole labour process is over. Then they come in. Some husbands are very
averse to seeing their respective spouses in pain and distress and they
cannot handle it. In such a situation we advise the husband to step out
for awhile. "
Dr Jazlan adds that a proactive husband is always welcomed in the labour ward.
In fact, husbands can play a rather crucial role in the birthing process.
"Studies have shown that a supportive husband is good to have in the
labour ward and this can increase that chances of a normal delivery and
also helps to shorten the labour. The presence of the husband will also
allow the wives to be attended to full time because sometimes the
nurses maybe a bit busy with other patients. "
Dr Fong Yang is a Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist at The Centre for Women & Fertility at Mount Alvernia.
He concurs that the help the husband provides does a great deal in motivating the woman in labour.
"Most of the time its a supportive role, moral support. Just being
there to hold their hands. Just to be there and understand the pain and
whatever she's going through. And at the point of delivery when the
wife is pushing and working very hard, sometimes it helps for the
husband to be there and provide words of encouragement. Sometimes just
to hold the wife and support her head as she tries pushing. All these
little gestures give alot of motivation to them."
So there you have it fathers, the experts have said it.
If you felt you had been marginalized in anyway, those words should go a along way to putting your mind at ease.
You now have the stamp of authority to assert your invaluable role in the birthing process.
Or maybe not…
"One incident I can recall was when I was a medical student about ten
years ago. There was this particular incident when the medical team was
focusing on the labouring woman when she was delivering the baby and I
was just there observing and suddenly I could here a big loud sound on
the floor and there was a tremor and we discovered the husband had
fainted. The interesting thing was that the medical team was focusing
on the wife and didn't bother about the husband. I was a bit shocked. I
think the medical team probably knew the husband was going to faint and
they didin't really pay much attention to him. I was there to help him.
He fainted because he couldn't take it."
Fainting fathers aren’t the only interesting cases doctors have seen in the labour ward.
Dr Chee has more.
"The most ridiculous would be one husband who responded to his wife's
screams of pain by slapping her face. And after awhile I didn't know if
she was screaming from the pain of her labour or from the pain form the
slaps she was getting. For that particular case, after awhile we
actually had to invite the husband to step out of the delivery room."
Well thankfully, fainting fathers and slapping spouses are a rarity.
The fact that trends have changed and husbands are now increasingly
involved in the birthing process can only be good for the family.
But let’s not stop at that, fathers.
Let’s immerse ourselves deeper into the process of raising the child as well.
I’ll leave you with Jafar, a father of two sharing his experience in the labour ward.
" I would say the firsthand experience was a bit of a shock to me. On
my part, I helped my wife through the breathing process and helped her
to be calm in tense situations, and I felt I really played an important
role in the moment. For the second child I was able to cope with the
process easily due to my first experience. And I was also able to
understand the situation better and guide her through the delivery."
--938Live
am in love
Interesting... haha...