SINGAPORE : Many Singaporeans are for the idea of adoption, but only if they have no choice.
These are the findings of a survey by the National University of
Singapore.
The study was conducted on 1,200 people aged 18 to 60, by the Department
of Social Work at the NUS.
40-year-old Chang Chee Siah describes her seven-year-old adopted
daughter, Olivia, as blessing to the family.
She decided to adopt after trying for a baby for about four years.
Chang Chee Siah, mother of adopted child, says: "We had decided we
didn't want to have any kids and there was just one gathering where we
met with some friends, one of our couple friends actually adopted."
About two weeks later, they brought two-and-a-half month old baby Olivia
from Jakarta to Singapore.
Madam Chang went on to give birth to a daughter and a son.
She is among a small pool of Singaporeans who turn to adoption to build a
family.
This mirrors the findings of a survey in March and April this year by
two researchers.
The benchmark study aims to understand the attitudes, beliefs,
perceptions and opinions towards adoption held by Singaporeans.
While the majority has positive attitudes towards adoption, only 14 per
cent seriously considered the option.
More than half felt adoption was not as good as having one's own child.
Close to 70 per cent feel adopted children should not be told about this
- and should be told the truth when they're at least 16 years old.
The study also found that more than 70 per cent of the respondents
thought that it's not wise for adoptive parents to tell the child about
their status.
But experts say this is unhealthy.
It's best to "tell all" when the children are very young.
Dr Jayashree Mohanty, principal Investigator, from NUS' Department of
Social Work , says: "It helps them to have more good psychological
wellbeing, otherwise,) once the children become adults, 16 or 18 or 21.
"If their parents disclose their adoption identity, that means during
their adult age they might go through psychological problems. For
example identity crisis, low sense of identity and confusion about their
own self, anxiety, all those things."
Dr Mohanty says adopted kids should be told when they're about four or
five years old.
For Mdm Chang, secrecy was never an option.
She says: "I think the thing that really nailed it for me was just
hearing stories where the kids are older, they found out in their late
teens or in their 20s. And when the parents were trying to reconnect
with their child and saying "We're sorry, it's for your good, we didn't
know how to say, we didn't know how to tell you. But the child comes out
and say "you didn't tell me, why should I tell you now?"
Which is why before Olivia turned two, Mdm Chang started talk to her
about her parentage.
"Since young, she knew she's got two sets of parents. And as she grows
older, now we're telling her this is your tummy mummy and forever
mummy...Your Indonesian mummy carried you in your tummy, but I carry you
in my heart and that's kind of how we talk about adoption."
While it was tricky, Mdm Chang never felt better.
"I can talk about it so openly, I can share. Adoption of Olivia was such
a joyful experience, and if I couldn't share that joy, it's almost like
a shameful thing and I didn't want that then to be attached to her,
that she's not good enough."
However, many surveyed hold negative attitudes towards parents who place
their children for adoption.
The study's other researcher, Dr Srinivasan Chokkanathan from Temasek
Polytechnic's Gerontological Management Studies elaborates: "The public
thinks that biological mothers and biological fathers who place their
children for adoption are selfish, they're careless and totally
irresponsible.
It might perhaps have to do with Asian values towards family formation.
Once you give birth to a child, it's up to parents to take care of them
and it's totally unethical or even unthinkable for the parents to place
their child for adoption."
But he points out that there are other sides to a story.
"But what the parents or what the public do not know or think about is
that the emotional trauma the biological parents or the mother has to
undergo in order to place the up child for adoption. So it's not like a
straightforward process."
The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports says adoptions
in Singapore hovered around 400 over the last three years but this
number is expected to grow.
2009, there were 419 cases, down from the 445 in 2008.
In 2007, the number was 407. More than half, or 55 per cent, were
foreign children.
Dr Chokkanathan explains: "Given the low fertility rates and an even
lower marriage rates, and then also an addition to these two problems,
even those who marry, they marry at a later stage in life. So, adoption
might play a very crucial role in family formation."
They hope the findings of this study can help the relevant agencies
formulate appropriate policies, services and intervention programmes.
This, as information on this topic is very limited.
So researchers hope Voluntary Welfare Organisations and governmental
organisations can sensitise the public on child adoption.
For a start, the researchers will be conducting a mini survey on about
200 professionals from next month.
The survey, which is expected to take two to three months, will form the
basis for workshops that they plan to organise in future.
- CNA/jy