Yesterday my travel agent at Ken Brothers Reliant Air Travel call me and tell me got special offer on cruise.
"Nowsaday cruise to nowhere also so expensive,"
said my agent. "This one is damn cheap, some more got on-board casino and it actually go somewhere."
"Where is the somewhere?" I ask him.
"Kutu Island," he said. "A beautiful, rustic
island just off the coast of Singapore. An oft-overlooked gem which promises views never seen before."
"Eh, nao hiah," I scold him. "Stop reading from your bleddy brochure! Tell me there can see what?"
"History one, lah. Got this story say last time got two sailor - one Chinese, one Malay, and they lost at
sea, lah. Si beh cham one. Then, they so kan cheong they began to tear their hair out. But their hair got a lot of kutu one, and when they start tearing their hair,
the kutu all boh pian and jump-jump-jump out of their hair
and start swimming to find land. Then the two sailors followed their kutu until they reach an island.
They were so heng, they named the island after their kutu
and set up a temple there."
"What kind of condemn story is that?" I ask him.
"You believe, do'wan to believe, up to you," he say. "But nowsaday, hor, got lot of people go there to
visit the temple there to pray to Vo Seen, the Goddess of
Saloon de Beauts. I hear it's popular with a lot of
hairdressers and botak people. My own hair-dresser went there
last week and she just touch 4D."
"Like that is on, lah!" I say. "Got free bag one,
hor?"
So that weekend, I and my nephew took the cruise
ship to Kutu Island.
I like to travel because can learn things. And
one of the things I always learn is never trust your travel
agent 100%.
For example, the cruise ship is acherly a
tongkang, and the on-board casino is basically a Lao Ah Peh
dealing cards.
But neh'mine. Kutu Island itself is very small.
(I guess kutu also very small.) There's not very much to
do there, so I recommend you come here only if you a bit itchy, like that.
The temple takes up most of the place. Everywhere
you can see statues of Vo Seen, with her big hair and golden highlights.
The day I went there got a group of shampoo girls
from Hairs Cut International Saloon also visiting.
They brought offerings of brushes and combs. Some even brought mousse to spray as they pray. If you donate some money, they will also release a few
kutu into their kutu pool for you.
The temple also got advisors there to help you. For example, if you want to get rid of kutu, then
there is a kutu kwee in your head. And what you must do is
give money to the temple, and they will spray holy insecticide on your head. Then you must wrap a
good morning towel around your head and meditate for
one hour.
And if you are going bald, then you must also
give money and they will give you a holy wig, blessed by Vo Seen.
My nephew's hair is like chee-bye hair - messy
and like wire like that, so I pray to Vo Seen for him.
I think the prayer worked, because when he came
back to Singapore, it was no more like chee-bye hair.
It was more like armpit hair.
So we'll definitely be going there again next
year.
Even though we never touch 4D.
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Float Like A Bee, Sting Like A Butterfly!!