Singapore girls - A challenge to love: Article from Malaysia
-
Taken from HWZ:
The Star Online
Singapore girls – A challenge to love
Insight: Down South
By SEAH CHIANG NEE
EDUCATED and financially independent, the new Singaporean woman is
running into a wall of male traditions that is leaving some holes in
their relationship, including marriage.
The trend had been building up over a couple of decades. In few other
countries have women made larger strides in education and careers
than in Singapore.
During the past few decades they have caught up with, and even
overtaken, men in fields they had once dominated.
In university, women still outnumber men 55-45 with many moving
strongly into subjects like media, mathematics, law and engineering,
among others.
Recently girls won seven of the top 11 awards for A-level Physics,
which had long been a boys' domain.
Island-wide, women have moved into the highest ranks of the corporate
world and commanded artillery units or police divisions, as well as
trained jetfighter pilots. Ten women, aged 20-40, are planning to
climb Mount Everest.
In short, the new female is able, confident and more than holding up
half the heavens, but not getting equal success in their relationship
with men.
This is running smack into a traditional male value of wanting to be
seen wearing the pants, causing a growing "incompatibility".
Better education has also led to the woman being perceived as too
ambitious, self-centred and materialistic, not qualities that promote
romance.
As a consequence, more men are choosing their brides from abroad,
especially from China, Vietnam and most of all Malaysia, where
historical links remain strong.
I attended five weddings in the last eight months that reflected the
trend.
Four of the brides were from Malaysia and China and only one was
local. I was told this was becoming a trend that government
matchmakers have failed to correct.
One groom with a Johor bride said he had found Singaporean girls too
materialistic and demanding. "One specifically set a condition: no
living with my parents. She wasn't happy dating on public buses."
The women's relentless pursuit of a career had come at the expense of
learning to do simple household chores like cooking, ironing or
looking after babies.
"If you want to marry a Singapore girl you must be prepared to eat at
hawker centres for life," one male cynic said.
A marriage agency owner told a radio interviewer how some of the
girls had, on the first date, plied the men with questions like: What
is your degree and earnings? Do you own a condo? "And they're
surprised when they didn't get a second date," she said.
Others find them picky, untrusting and calculative towards love and
marriage.
Results of recently released research have found that one in five
Singaporean wives is hiding her assets from her husband for fear that
he will squander them or in case the marriage fails.
This 20% here compares with France (7.2%), USA (7.6%), Brazil (9%),
Romania (12%) and Britain (16.8%).
But there are more hoarders in Japan (38%), Saudi Arabia (32%) and
China (21%).
It doesn't inspire trust. Another sign is the increasing number of
cases when a private detective is hired to check on the spouse.
Pre-marital contracts are also becoming more common among people who
want to keep their assets out of their spouse's reach in any divorce.
Almost six out of 10 women say in a survey that they are not
submissive, while two-thirds believe they could live without men.
The changing female attitude is, of course, only half the cause.
The other is the man sticking to a traditional view that it is his
right as head to leave the babies and household work to his working
wife. One in two women here have a job.
The social impact is a growing number of single women, especially
university graduates.
A growing minority is marrying Westerners.
This has prompted a newspaper reader to urge her well-educated peers
to revisit some the traditional feminine traits.
Her letter followed reports that more Singaporeans, including young
professional males, were turning abroad for brides.
She said she had worked in Vietnam and found the girls there
feminine, their speech melodious.
"They work hard without complaining, carrying loads of cloth and
vegetables in the market stalls and food places. Simple, gentle and
hardworking, it's hard not to fall in love with them," she added.
As for the Malaysian ladies, she finds them "neither loud nor
argumentative, (but) pander to the boys' needs. Not as doormats, but
as cheerful assistants, who see it as their obligation to help their
men without expecting anything in return.
"Not that they are stupid - oh, no, the Malaysian girls I know are
smart and hardworking, with careers of their own.
"But when it comes to matters of the heart, they play the docile,
giggly girlfriend with as much aplomb as their Vietnamese
counterparts. Again, it's easy to see where their attraction lies."
In contrast, the Singapore girl is twice as likely as her Malaysian
or Vietnamese counterpart to stride away in a huff or throw water in
the male's face or hold a public screaming or crying fit.
"The Singapore girl debates and argues impassionedly. She wants to
win at all costs and treats her love conquests like those fought in
the office arena. She may be pretty, yes, smart, yes, but, oh, so
demanding."
The Singapore girl, in short, is a challenge to love, she added.
Although she may, at the end of the day, be a supportive and faithful
spouse, the barbs hiding her soft interior are daunting to the
suitor.
"She is materialistic, and loves being so. Shopping is a major hobby,
and looking good is absolutely essential. The man is but another
accessory, a helper, chauffeur, bag carrier."
There are, however, some 200,000 men who have a poor education and a
low salary. Their prospect of marrying a Singapore girl is slim.
One emotional man said online: "I'm fed up with life. Can't even find
a date let alone a wife." For him and the rest, salvation lies in
Vietnam or China. -
this article had already been posted long before.
-
Is it? Hahaha....paiseh paisehOriginally posted by dragg:this article had already been posted long before.
-
hmmm? you mean posted b4 in sgforums or isit the newspaper rewrite again?Originally posted by dragg:this article had already been posted long before. -
in a nutshell, GIRL POWER!!Originally posted by CoolMyth:Is it? Hahaha....paiseh paiseh -
In sgForumsOriginally posted by Werewolf:hmmm? you mean posted b4 in sgforums or isit the newspaper rewrite again? -
The article's quite outdated then....
Hahaha....FI-jie, you can close this already.... -
Ah...speaker's cornerOriginally posted by Drain-V-:
well-reputated subforum ^^
Thanks for da link mate
-
You are welcome...The discussion actually went on for a while though..
-
a forum i hate, so many rules, cannot crap/bitch peeps...Originally posted by Werewolf:Ah...speaker's corner
well-reputated subforum ^^
Thanks for da link mate -
LoL. There are times for everything ma ^^Originally posted by BITCHY_BITCH:a forum i hate, so many rules, cannot crap/bitch peeps...
Want to have a good read and/or serious discussion, go there lo
Want to relac and talk cock, flame ppl, bully ppl, come chit chat
tio bo?
but of course....even if you want to flame ppl, must have logical proposition la...
anyhow scold ppl without reason then you lose your reputation or 'credibility', then you cannot have serious discussion in other subforum -
you already b.itch so much. still not satisfied?Originally posted by BITCHY_BITCH:a forum i hate, so many rules, cannot crap/bitch peeps... -
I won't BITCH without rhyme and reason one..Originally posted by Werewolf:anyhow scold ppl without reason then you lose your reputation or 'credibility'...
...most prob is becos u oni see one side of the story. -
see my nick.Originally posted by dragg:you already b.itch so much. still not satisfied? -
OMFG.....summary....in 10 words or less.....needed..........cough.....*dies*
-
No money, no talk.Originally posted by the.raven:OMFG.....summary....in 10 words or less.....needed..........cough.....*dies* -
i agree that most of the singaporean ladies don't know how to cook. (at least in my office). i know one story from my friend. He asked her ex-gf to earn money and he went to stay home and cook for her. But ex-gf didn't want and said that guy must earn money. otherwise, no face. At the end, who wanted to cook at home? my friend decided not to carry on the r/s because he didn't want to eat hawker's center in his entire life.
As i have posted many times, the most of the singapore girls i know so far are materialistic... need branded stuff and asked her bf to pay for them... -
cannot like that say...i got see my china girls go out wif local guys everydae chiong see the sg chiina guys all like robert kena kedoh like idiots coz the guys some single cannot work properly (defeated) or married but wfe no standard or not shiok the my china mina know and can exploit this weakneess in man.......cannot like dat say one bamboo pole knock the whole boat overnot beri good...but since many like dat say then hor get a sg gf after marrying a my gf....then read my signature man
-
*Starts saving $$$...
-
it's not going to be enough dude....Originally posted by Simple_Bear:*Starts saving $$$... -
Muz try mah...if really nt enuf to support local gals...then bo bian...go for overseas ones lohz...lolx...Originally posted by Lance_han:it's not going to be enough dude.... -
aiyah...no need for tat la...i noe alot of gers not tat money\career minded one...Originally posted by Simple_Bear:Muz try mah...if really nt enuf to support local gals...then bo bian...go for overseas ones lohz...lolx...
the article is just another generalisation of the singapore female...
so don worri...u'll find your cinderalla one...
hehe~ -
ya. just be patient.Originally posted by Lance_han:aiyah...no need for tat la...i noe alot of gers not tat money\career minded one...
the article is just another generalisation of the singapore female...
so don worri...u'll find your cinderalla one...
hehe~
in the end if you cant find then too bad lor -
Paragraphing and punctuations are your friendsOriginally posted by 'm back:cannot like that say...i got see my china girls go out wif local guys everydae chiong see the sg chiina guys all like robert kena kedoh like idiots coz the guys some single cannot work properly (defeated) or married but wfe no standard or not shiok the my china mina know and can exploit this weakneess in man.......cannot like dat say one bamboo pole knock the whole boat overnot beri good...but since many like dat say then hor get a sg gf after marrying a my gf....then read my signature man -
I prefer Snow White without the seven drawfs...Originally posted by Lance_han:aiyah...no need for tat la...i noe alot of gers not tat money\career minded one...
the article is just another generalisation of the singapore female...
so don worri...u'll find your cinderalla one...
hehe~