16 May 2005
ON Wednesday, our paper ran a front page story on Hong Kong beauty queen and actress Lee San San losing her handphone.
Some might debate why such a story deserved front page treatment in a national newspaper, but as we all know, those who were in debating teams back in school days were lousy in sports and could not get any dates.
I'm kidding of course. I have great respect for debaters. Many of them have gone on to become lawyers and US Presidential candidates.
They may still be bad at sports but they more than make up for it with their ability to say forcefully (no doubt a throwback to their debating days): 'You have weapons of mass destruction'.
But there were no stories of such weapons on Wednesday, so we had to go with Lee San San, who lives with weapons of mass distraction.
The headline on the front page was: Sexier photos of me in stolen handphone are now on Net. Right next to a sexy photo of Lee San San in a white bikini.
She was apparently upset that whoever stole her phone posted the sexy photos in her phone on the Net.
She was, however, okay with sexy photos of her on the Net which were not taken by her own handphone. 
There's a difference.
While many of the photos on the Net show her with hardly any clothes on, the ones in her phone have her with hardly any makeup on.
MAKEUP OR BUST
Many of my female readers will be able to relate to this. It's true, there are many women out there who wouldn't be seen dead without their makeup on (entire industries have been built on producing makeup for corpses).
I know this because I used to date one such girl.
On Valentine's Day, I decided to surprise her with a bouquet of flowers by showing up at her home.
She refused to see me because, you guessed it, she didn't have any makeup on. I only wish I had made that up, but I didn't, and I had to stand outside her door for the better part of an hour, just so she could 'slap something on'.
When she opened her door, her makeup was so thick that her makeup removal kit must have had a hammer and chisel.
That was 20 years ago. I ran into her recently and I swear to you, she looked like she hadn't aged a day. Or rather, her makeup looked like it hadn't aged a day.
Psychologists I have spoken to described this as the Women's Magazine Disorder, yet another WMD.
One psychologist, who declined to be named because he loves his wife, said: 'Since they were teenagers, they read all these women's magazines extolling the virtues of makeup and how it makes them beautiful.
'As such, they grow up thinking that they are ugly without makeup. These people need professional help.'
I'm not sure that's true though. I mean, us guys grew up reading girlie magazines and you don't see us wanting to have sex with porn stars (although that's probably because we usually lock the door).
The point is (yes, there is one), Lee San San really shouldn't be all that upset.
If she can show that she's okay with her photos with no makeup on being shown publicly, she might become the role model for WMD cases everywhere.
And maybe, just maybe, girls such as the one I dated might finally find the confidence to realise that even without makeup on, she was quite the weapon of mass distraction as well.
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/printfriendly/0,4139,88329,00.html
