Do you know how to crack jokes?
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im bored, make me laugh pls.
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the whole sgforums is a joke oredi worrrrrrrrrr
look at the ppl here!
muehahahahahahahhahahahahahah -
there was a tree... up in the tree were a couple of birds. 1 male 1 female.
suddenly, got a gaot(yang) run towards the tree. *bang* n died.
den the female bird told the male bird 5 words(in chi) den the male bird rape the female bird. wad did the female bird told the male bird? -
look at your mirror.
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look at your mirror.
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xia mian yang si le
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another version of the answer is "ch33 by3 yang si ler"Originally posted by FireIce:xia mian yang si le -
heard b4 liao..next please
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i see this when i look into the mirror..Originally posted by mach10:look at your mirror. 
when you look into the mirror
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he oso no say he want outdated or new jokes mah....Originally posted by SMAPLionHeart:heard b4 liao..next please
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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me only 5 MONTHS to do it," Ah Beng said.
"FIVE MONTHS? Why did you take so long." the friend asked.
Ah Beng replied, "No, it is not long at all, look ! at the box, it says it is for 4 to 7 years". -
John answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
John says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead." -
pretty good.. your thread topic was a good enough joke
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Originally posted by skid:John answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
John says, "My God. What's the good news?"
The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead." -
1 day, ah beng was driving his sports car and ah lian was sitting beside him. den, ah beng's fone rang. he answered the fone. the traffic light was red. when it turned green, ah lian pushed the gear to "R". the car went backwards n banged another car. ah beng hung up the fone n shouted, "wad u doing sia?!"
ah lian:"i tot R for racing mah... no meh?"
ah beng:" R for reverse lah!" -
Two Hokkien pengs, Ah Beng and Ah Seng, got promoted from privates to corporals.
Not long after, they're out for a walk and Ah Beng says, "Eh, Seng ah, there's the NCO Club. Let's go inside and togo."
"But we all is plivate only, mah," protests Ah Seng.
"No, we all is copler now," says Ah Beng, pulling him inside.
Once inside the pub, Ah Beng says, "Okay, let's order some beer and togo!"
"But we all is plivate!" says Ah Seng.
"Piang eh, you cannot see, meh?" says Ah Beng, pointing to his stripes. "We all is copler now!"
After leaving the NCO club, Ah Beng and Ah Seng go to Geylang.
There, Ah Beng whistles at a hooker, but the hooker says, "Sorry, hor. Tonight cannot because I got gonorrhea."
Ah Beng pulls Ah Seng to the side and say, "Eh, you go and check the dictionary and see what 'gonorrhea' means. It it's okay, give me the okay sign."
Ah Seng goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Ah Beng a big thumbs-up.
Three weeks later, Ah Beng is in the hospital with a severe case of gonorrhea.
"Ni na beh," he scolds Ah Seng. "Why you tell me it's okay?"
"Not my fault!" says Ah Seng. "In the dictionary, it says gonorrhea affects the privates."
Then he points to his stripes: "But we is copler now, mah!" -
One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.
However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.
However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"
At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!" -
Originally posted by aHGer^83:One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.
However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.
However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"
At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"
U made my day -
Char Siew Pao and Mee Kia got involved in an argument. Char Siew Pao got very angry and shouted at Mee Kia, "I'm going to find my gang to hantam you!"
So Char Siew Pao went to round up Leng Yong Pau and Tau Sar Pow.
Just then, Maggi Mee walked round the corner. Immediately, the Paos started to beat him up.
As Char Siew Pao was punching Maggi Mee, he shouted, "Don't think just because you perm your hair, we can't recognise you, okay!" -
One day, our beloved Senior Minister went to America for a meeting with Bill "Sex Maniac" Clinton. After the meeting, SM Lee approached Bill and asked:
SM Lee: Bill, let me ask you a question.
Bill: About sex?
SM Lee: No, lah! How do you put a giraffe into a fridge?
Bill: DonÂ’t know.
SM Lee: You open the door, shove the giraffe in, then you close it. Now let me ask you another questionÂ…how do you add an elephant into the fridge if you can only put one animal in it?
Bill: Open the door, shove the elephant in, and close the door.
SM Lee: No! You open the door, take the giraffe out, then shove the elephant in and close it. Now, if you were on a plane and it was going to crash because it was overloaded, what should you throw out? A VCR, A fridge, or 10 bags that were heavier than the other two added together?
Bill: I should throw myself.
Lee Kuan Yew: Got no parachute, lah!
Bill: Then of course the 10 bags lah!
Lee Kuan Yew: Wrong! The fridge. Because the fridge itself is lighter than the 10 bags but there is an elephant in it...goondu! Now, last one... there was this very beautiful princess by the name of Monica. One day, a witch cast a spell on her. Now anyone who was 100 meters away would die. Then this prince by the name of Bill
decided to be a hero and save her. Actually he wanted to have sex with her later. But he died 300 meters away. Why?
Bill: Don't know.
Lee Kuan Yew: Because you throw the fridge on him, mah! -
I resent the fact that i am called a "joke". I think there are serious intellectual discussion on virginity, size of women's bosom and other serious issues affecting singaporeans in this forum.Originally posted by FireIce:the whole sgforums is a joke oredi worrrrrrrrrr
look at the ppl here!
muehahahahahahahhahahahahahah -
somehow intellectual discission and size of women's bosom dun go together...Originally posted by spencer99:serious intellectual discussion on virginity, size of women's bosom and other serious issues affecting singaporeans in this forum. -
nt actually...if most people talk about it here...it's a nation or even world crisis...intellectual discussion is inviteable...Originally posted by hyuuga neji:somehow intellectual discission and size of women's bosom dun go together...