An Ode to National Service
Native, born on native soil
Raised till eighteen, made to toil
To defend a tiny land
ThatÂ’s the Singaporean man
On enlistment, BMT
Sergeant scold your family
Meet your Encik, CSM
The companyÂ’s stupid man
TheyÂ’ll take you into a room
One man over many loom
Then you must prepare to swear
For this island always wear
Colour green and nothing more
Admin, PT and smart 4
They will strip you to the core
Fear not youÂ’re the nationÂ’s whore
TheyÂ’ll give you a gunnysack
Change you into vest and slacks
2 years of your life theyÂ’ll take
You to hell until you break
Be prepared you new found dog
TheyÂ’ll make you wash and unclog
Urinals and other stuff
2 years are more than enough
In this life youÂ’ll never find
Better times to lose your mind
Welcome whore and please donÂ’t cry
YouÂ’re already sworn to die
And now for the real training
So what if itÂ’s still raining?
During war is there Cat. 1?
Dog, donÂ’t ever lose your gun.
Learn to march and learn to sing
Songs that do not have meaning
But donÂ’t stop or wonder why
YouÂ’re an idiot now green guy
Brains donÂ’t work in this army
It runs in LeeÂ’s family
Meet your rifle, your new wife
SheÂ’s your friend, your foe, your life
Strip her tenderly with care
Or sergeant will screw you there
HereÂ’s your SBO and helm
YouÂ’re now warrior of the realm
Honor, pride and glory be,
Bring this country harmony
Smelling like a mad wild boar
Dolled up in your goddamn 4
In the bus or up a train,
People may smell and complain
“Chow peng kia! They’re so smelly
All the botak so ugly.”
Hang in there donÂ’t be let down
YouÂ’re protector of the crown
Sergeants you must look up to
All the training theyÂ’ve been through
They KNOW they have seen the world
To them youÂ’re a baby girl
Like lions they are inside
TheyÂ’re just ***** cats outside
Think that SISPEC made you good?
Come on letÂ’s try prison food
All these street smart wannabes
Grew up eating mommyÂ’s peas
Educated know all jacks
That is why theyÂ’re all called SPECS
Think a sergeantÂ’s hard to be?
Wanna come try RTC?
Yes youÂ’re somebody down here
Recruits look at you and fear
Grow up! Naïve simple man
In this army brains donÂ’t stand
PC! PC! YouÂ’re a Sir
Back in JC youÂ’re a blur
Born with glasses nerdy whore
Never seen the world before
Mostly from rich families
High class *******(B word) wannabes
Given a commissioned rank
All the sex you know is wank
Well-to-do here on this earth
Riches given you at birth
Those who get to OCS
They think theyÂ’re the very best
Poor forlorn misgiven soul
LifeÂ’s about mommyÂ’s control
Now about the Regulars
These guys think theyÂ’re the coolest
Smart 4 hanging in the car
Trying to show off a bar
This lame dot is green enough
More green doesnÂ’t make you tough
Living off the taxpayers
TheyÂ’re fantastic soothsayers
“I swear to die for this land
I swear to serve useless man
My life I put down for thee
But for now you must pay me
Give me more off and flexi
Please grant me rank and money
I swear I am not a fake
IÂ’ll choose death and wonÂ’t forsake
My tag may make me a dog
I love to suck COÂ’s cork
I am but a simple man
Live and die just for my land”
To them NSF are dogs
Idiots meant to do ****(S word) jobs
Given to fulfil a cause
Treat them like youÂ’d treat a horse
Overworked and underpaid
We donÂ’t blame it on our fate
We are proud to serve this land
Obeying unfaithful man
We must salute officers
All commissioned regulars
We address them all as Sirs
Just amazing, these soldiers
Instilling a sense of pride
Hunks that for this land would fight
They look so fierce in smart 4
So fierce I canÂ’t wait for war
Wish I were the enemy
Catch all officers I see
Chain up all these cheap dog whores
Make them do NSF chores
Without taxes what are you?
Life would not be green but blue
Stuck with Japanese Hondas
Never Continental cars
Next are Majors and Kernels
At the top are Generals
Men so great we seldom see
Living life exclusively
Years they spent serving this land
Dogs, oops! I meant moral man
Talented at golf and darts
Handing out donation cards
“Give or sign extra duty
You are aiding charity”
So we donate once or twice
Call us stupid weÂ’ve no choice
But at the end of the day
WhoÂ’s the one who gets to say
“All this happened ‘cos of me
IÂ’ve done proud for charity
IÂ’m Kernel of my country
Funds were raised because of ME!”
Strange, more cards just keep coming
Why do they keep on giving?
Do they think we work for free?
One month we make 350!
Wonder if they donate too,
Wonder where the funds go to.
NSFs we take the shame
We donate, they get the fame
What is this atrocious sham?
Do they have pride left in them?
For the high ranks you receive
Blow jobs many you did give
IÂ’m sorry but ainÂ’t it true?
Sucked until your face turned blue
Which army in history
Controlled by a nerd sissy
Would sign rubbish and then claim
“See! SAF helps the lame!”
Why O such a shameful act
Do you not know fake from fact?
If indeed you are so nice
Why not give us back our lives!
You take and you use us well
Parading your sun burnt hell
Doll us up in green like fools
Make us carry heavy stools
While your offices they sit
On their sofas and repeat
“I now go for my tea break
Heard officer mess got cake.
After you finish the chairs
Help me mop the floors and stairs
Go my office later on
Help me turn on the air con
Later I got visitor,
Boh pian, I am officer
Work so hard and earn so less
Still must buy my girlfriend dress
4k one month where enough?
Always chiong sua siebeh tough
Save so little in the bank
Hope to faster up my rank.”
Are these really commanders?
Are they really our warriors?
Could one ever imagine,
If in war how we would win?
“Think of the Japs!” they would say
“How they bullied us one day.”
Yes ‘tis true, the Japs were bad
They came and took all we had
Murdered, raped and pillaged too
This took place in World War II
Listen you stupid Army,
That was all in history
Move on, donÂ’t rake up the past
Your own nation filled with lust
Look at all the sluts around
Hanging round boat quay and town
See Mohd Sultan too?
Whores down there dance till theyÂ’re blue
Defend women from the foe?
Prove it find a virgin hole
All our girls been ****ed(F word) before
No such thing a virgin whore
How they sleep around at night
For a rich boy they would fight
Any fat ass take to bed
Once they see his Evo 8
The things theyÂ’d do for money
Hand jobs, blow jobs, sodomy
Beg your pardon, defend these
Women from the Japanese
Worry they get gang raped and
Made into comfort women
Why defend or fear to fall?
Japanese men are so small!
Half way through Occupation,
TheyÂ’d turn to masturbation
Even before they invade
Our whore would have a parade
Freely blow the enemy
Let them screw cheaper than free
When our soldiers take a snooze
Town would be filled with love juice
Why do we take up this cause
Fight for freedom or for loss
Of the virgin ****ies(P word) here
Find one and IÂ’d gladly cheer
At least IÂ’d have reason to
Serve this small dot like a fool
Long 4, rifle, SBO
Splitting image of bodoh
Guard this island of the seas?
We need guarding from the Lees!
Loving westerners so much
Against us locals – have a grudge?
If not for this surname Lee,
We wonÂ’t have to serve army
Place where nerds have a say
Nerds who make us pay and pay
On the world map this country
Beautiful as it may be
Is but just a tiny worm
Even smaller than my sperm
Taxpayers! Why face such scorn?
Specially those with male born
Open your eyes wide and see
Your sonÂ’s 2 years in army
Saluting like heÂ’s a jerk
People who cannot find work
Proper jobs that they wonÂ’t need
Taxpayers upon whom they will feed
Support peasants thatÂ’s one fact
But against your son theyÂ’d act
If heÂ’s caught when he chao keng
By these government ah bengs
Futures they have very far
Dream of Porsches in their Kias
Why support such ill ingrates?
Men who dress and act like apes
TheyÂ’d make Privates, Corporals, Men
Sai kang warriors of the land
Dogs that we are for this land
Thus the woes of NS Men.
