singaporean convinced outlook is good
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Singaporeans have said that they are totally convinced that everything is well in Singapore after listening to PM LeeÂ’s May Day speech, but that they are also feeling sleepy, very, very sleepyÂ…
“I can’t explain it,” said Bukit Gorblok resident Hypnoti Singh. “At first I was skeptical about this talk about Singapore’s growth. I mean, the Gahmen says that employment went up for the seventh straight quarter, but the jobless rate also rose compared to the previous quarter. Then Today newspaper, the EDB and Business Times all say our manufacturing output is up, but then Bloomberg International says it went down. Who to believe? I completely blur oreddy.”
But then, said Mr. Singh, “I heard the calming tones of PM Lee and I began feeling sleepy, very, very sleepy, and when I woke up, I realized wow, hey, the outlook is really quite good. And that those casinos? Really, they aren’t gambling dens, they’re just part of an integrated resort for the whole family. And those million dollar salaries, they really do keep our ministers from graft. It’s all true! The PM is such a persuasive man, man.”
“I also say,” said Hong Kan GRC shopkeeper Teo Voo Doo. “He is such a calming presence. One look into his eyes and all my fears about the casino bringing in loansharks, money launderers and hookers were totally allayed. Now I know this won’t happen and it’ll all be good, wholesome fun. I donno why, but I just know I’m going to vote the PAP in the upcoming elections!”
In other news, the Singapore Broadcast Authority has issued a statement reassuring the public that the flickering strobe effect that affected TV sets nationwide during the PM’s televised speech is nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing to worry about, and that you are feeling sleepy, very, very sleepy, and that you should breathe deeply, yes, very deeply, and feel the calming waves running over your entire body, and the whalesong enveloping you and filling you, and when you wake up, you will feel refreshed and vote the PAP and find MediaCock programming “world class”. -
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is this report even real? it can only reflect ur level of intelligence yet again.Originally posted by Pea brain:Singaporeans have said that they are totally convinced that everything is well in Singapore after listening to PM LeeÂ’s May Day speech, but that they are also feeling sleepy, very, very sleepyÂ…
“I can’t explain it,” said Bukit Gorblok resident Hypnoti Singh. “At first I was skeptical about this talk about Singapore’s growth. I mean, the Gahmen says that employment went up for the seventh straight quarter, but the jobless rate also rose compared to the previous quarter. Then Today newspaper, the EDB and Business Times all say our manufacturing output is up, but then Bloomberg International says it went down. Who to believe? I completely blur oreddy.”
But then, said Mr. Singh, “I heard the calming tones of PM Lee and I began feeling sleepy, very, very sleepy, and when I woke up, I realized wow, hey, the outlook is really quite good. And that those casinos? Really, they aren’t gambling dens, they’re just part of an integrated resort for the whole family. And those million dollar salaries, they really do keep our ministers from graft. It’s all true! The PM is such a persuasive man, man.”
“I also say,” said Hong Kan GRC shopkeeper Teo Voo Doo. “He is such a calming presence. One look into his eyes and all my fears about the casino bringing in loansharks, money launderers and hookers were totally allayed. Now I know this won’t happen and it’ll all be good, wholesome fun. I donno why, but I just know I’m going to vote the PAP in the upcoming elections!”
In other news, the Singapore Broadcast Authority has issued a statement reassuring the public that the flickering strobe effect that affected TV sets nationwide during the PM’s televised speech is nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing to worry about, and that you are feeling sleepy, very, very sleepy, and that you should breathe deeply, yes, very deeply, and feel the calming waves running over your entire body, and the whalesong enveloping you and filling you, and when you wake up, you will feel refreshed and vote the PAP and find MediaCock programming “world class”. -
It's meant to be a JOKE...Originally posted by aCid_rAIn:is this report even real? it can only reflect ur level of intelligence yet again.
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oic. the names were quite funny
he posted with a serious title and i thought he was serious.