by Nyonya KwayIn the wake of the barbaric London bombings, the Singapore Gahmen has issued a heightened terror alert for the island.
The Ministry of Defensiveness has activated reservists, beefed up security at key installations and issued a list of places that may be potential targets.
“The fact is,” said MINDEF spokesman BG Chin Kia See. “Just like London, Singapore is a member of the Coalition of the Boh Pia…, I mean, Willing. So that makes us a target for extremists too. We need for every Singaporean to keep their own lookout, especially when our defence forces are stretched to their limit doing important duties for the nation like setting up scaffolding for the NDP.”
MINDEF has issued a list of places that may be potential targets, including: Jurong Island, Raffles Place, Shenton Way, Orchard Road, in fact, all shopping centres, all hawker centres, supermarkets, normal markets, anywhere with ang mors in them, schools, bus stops, video libraries, community centres, public swimming pools, country clubs, parks, public toilets, MRT stations, MRT trains, anything to do with public transport, that solid chicken rice place near your house, your relativesÂ’ houses, even those who stay in Ipoh, petrol stations, car washes, movie theaters, coffee shops, that bloody noisy Yorkie terrier who lives next door, BreadTalk branches, 7-11s, basically anywhere that you might possibly be going.
“OK, lah,” admitted BG Chin. “I know that the inability of the world’s top intelligence agencies to predict the London bombings makes it unrealistic for our own small-small homeland security team to accurately predict where these seow lang might strike next. But if you think that that’s going to stop us from diverting attention from high consumer prices, soaring Ministerial salaries, the growing income gap, state control of the media and diminution of civil liberties, then you have no idea how politics works.”
MINDEF has also asked Singaporeans not to let fear and panic rule their lives. Said BG Chin, “We must look at even terrible situations as great opportunities. So the Gahmen feels, for instance, that a period when people are scared, uneasy and afraid of risks, might actually be a really good time for an election.”
- from
www.talkingcock.com
