Donations: Cold jokes, riddles and Qian Bian Wen Da Ti
-
I shall start first then...
Tiger beer, tat tiger in e logo, it is a female or a male? -
male lah
if is female it would have been tigress -
hee smart huh...
okie..
tang guo or sweet. is it a male or female then? -
its a female: cos it will 'sheng ma yi' (attract ants)Originally posted by alfagal:hee smart huh...
okie..
tang guo or sweet. is it a male or female then? -
Story 1
The Titanic was sinking, and there weren't enough lifeboats.
So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.
To the British he said. "You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.
To the Americans he said, "You can be heroes." They complied.
To the Germans he said, "It's the rule." They obeyed.
To the Japanese he said," It's the consensus." They obliged.
Then came the Singaporean and they just weren't budging until he came up with the appeal: "Free life jackets for those who jumped." -
Story 2
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah! Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March.....One month one. -
Story 3
Santa Singh (remember him?) just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious "Lee & Lee Law Firm" During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thinks for a while and said, "Well, I would need to discuss your
application with my wife." And went off to discuss Santa's application with
his wife. Lee KY's wife said, "C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!"
So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
Few days later, Santa Singh came back to the same company and request for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told you that we only hire.......' when Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.
Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked,"What is your new name then?" On this, Santa Singh replied, 'Surname Lee, Last name, Manga! (Manga-Li) -
Subject: Gas Station
A gas station was trying to increase its sales, so the owner put up a sign saying,
"Free Sex with Fill-Up."
Soon a local guy pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his freesex.
The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly,
he would get his free sex. The guy then guessed 8, and the proprietor said,
"You were close. The number was 7. Sorry, no sex this time."
A week later, the same guy, along with a friend, pulled in for a fill-up.
Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.
The guy guessed 2 this time. Again the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3.
You were close, but no free sex this time." As they were driving away, the guy said to his friend, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex."
His friend replied, "No it ain't, rigged --- my wife won twice last week!!" -
One day, there is an American, one Italian, a Singaporean and Bangladeshi travel around on a private helicopter.
After about one hour travelling, the American take out his cigarette (Dunhill) lighted it up and start smoking after two sip, he throw the balance of the cigarette.
The others three persons surprise and ask " Why didn't you finish-up the cigarette before throwing?
"He reply arrogantly "there is a lot of cigarette in my country".
Half an hour later the Italian takes a bottle of branded perfume and apply on him and the rest he throw out of the window. The other three persons was surprised and ask "Why did you throw away the perfume?"..
The Italian reply also "there is alot of perfume in my country"
The Singaporean don't know what to do & suddenly push that Bangladeshi out of the helicopter.
The other two person was shouted crazyly
"Why did you push him!!!!!!!??????"
The Singaporean say slowly "There is a lot of Bangladeshi in my country".
Everybody keep quiet and stayed away from the Singaporean -
-
FUNNY..
-
The Bangladeshi one heard before...
Better not post racist jokes here, later sue. -
dun quite get thisOriginally posted by mistyblue: -