What some words really mean

• Xcert

  22 Sep 05, 17:42

  Source : http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,94832,00.html?
  
  Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  
  Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
  
  Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
  
  Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  
  Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  
  Experience: The name men give their mistakes.
  
  Atom bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
  
  Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when he's dead.
  
  Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
  
  
• The man who was death

  22 Sep 05, 17:43

  zai lah today's newspaper got 2nd part lah
• Xcert

  22 Sep 05, 18:39

  Originally posted by The man who was death:

  zai lah today's newspaper got 2nd part lah

  for people who didnt catch it.
• starblue

  22 Sep 05, 19:04

  see before le leh.. got anything new??
• Xcert

  23 Sep 05, 14:43

  Source: http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,94884,00.html?
  What some words really mean: Part 2
  
  Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
  
  Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  
  Criminal: A guy no different from the rest except that he got caught.
  
  Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway: 'See, I'm not injured yet.'
  
  Father: A banker provided by nature.
  
  Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
  
  Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
  
  Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
  
  
• Xcert

  24 Sep 05, 10:46

  Source :http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,94932,00.html?
  
  What some words really mean: Part 3
  
  Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
  
  Lecture: Art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
  
  Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  
  Conference room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
  
  Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  
  Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
  
  Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  
  Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.