Hi all, found this on another website, not sure whether it have been poster here....but anyway here goes
[A few days ago, I received an email from one those infamous scammers. Same old thing, he was some dethroned king in Nigeria and needed help in retreiving some HUGE amounts of money.]
From : Evismore Williams
Subject : URGENT
DEAR/,SIR
PLEASE I HOPE THIS MAIL WILL NOT BRING AN EMBARRASMENT
TO YOU OR SOMEBODY ARROUND YOU I,M A SENIOR ACCOUNTANT
IN (GULF BANK NIGERIA PLC).THERE WAS A MAN CALLED (MR
RALPH)FROM
AUSTRA 30YEARS OLD.HE DEPOSITED $17.5M IN OUR BANK.AND
SINCE
TWO YEARS WE ARE LOOKING
FOR HIM TO COME AND CLAIM HIS FUND. BEFORE WE GOT
INFORMATIONS THAT HE WAS INVOLVED IN THAT INCIDENCE
THAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA THE YEAR SEP 11TH 2001,
PLEASE I WANT YOU TO ACT AS THE OWNER OF THE FUND OR
RELATIVE OF HIM I WILL FURNISH YOU ALL THE
INFORMATIONS REGARDING THIS FUND,
PLEASE TRY CONTACT ME AS POSSIBLE AS YOU RECIEVE THIS
MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THE BANK WILL SIT UNTOP OF
THE FUND ALONE also your fax and phone number is
urgently needed from
you.
THANKS FROM ACCOUNTANT, please the ulternative
email.(
[email protected]) also your phone and fax
number for more
comminucation on the transaction.please any more
information i will give you ,to make sure we conclude
this transaction.
[I had heard of these emails before, how some dumb people got so stupid they were cheated by these guys. Anyway, I decided to burn my Thursday afternoon and wrote back. Just for the fun of it. With A DIFFERENT IDENTITY OF COURSE!]
****************************************************
From : Father Arsing Focker
To : Evismore Williams
Subject : RE:URGENT
Mr Williams,
Thank you for your e-mail.
Let me first introduce myself. I am a retired CEO of Bread and Fruit Corporation, one of the largest foodstuff conglormerates in South-east Asia with an annual turnover of over US$1billion. Our various subsidaries include Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips, a PANGSAI factory and much more. I have passed on the business to my sons and am now head priest of Church of The Fockers, a church founded by my ancestors, Pissy Focker and Gonads Focker, to help those in need.
Unfortunately, Mr Williams, we may have a problem. Due to old age, my hearing has deteriorated to such a level that it is not possible to converse with you over the phone. So saying, do you, by chance, possess a telecommunications text phone? If not, I'm afraid e-mail is the only convenient way of communicating with you.
Mr Williams, I have the utmost confidence that this transaction will go on smoothly but I must first ensure your honesty and integrity. I am a very meticulous businessman and NEVER enter a deal without cast-iron confidence and security in my partners. I will need to have ample evidence of your identity. I'm afraid photocopied images of your passport and identification certificates is not acceptable since it is common knowledge how such things can easiliy be forged.
May I suggest, Mr Williams, that before we proceed, you fulfil my request of ensuring your genuinity by doing the following : that you take a photograph of yourself holding a sign which bears a password we shall agree on. I will forward you this password once you have agreed to my proposal.
Awaiting your reply.
Father Arsing Focker,
Managing Director and CEO
Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
"Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38
****************************************************
[He replied! Which was totally unexpected!]
To : Father Arsing Focker
From : Evismore Williams
Subject : OUR TRANSACTION PROCEDURE/REPLY QUICK
ATTN Father Arsing Focker,
Managing Director and CEO
SIR,
I RECEIVE YOUR MAIL. IT SOUND VERY INTERESTING TO WORK WITH YOU.ONCE YOU WILL BE HONEST WITH ME. [Of course I'm an HONEST man!
FIRST WE ARE GOING TO SECURE ALL THE DOCUMENTS WHICH YOU HAVE TO USE TO CLAIM THIS FUNDS AS THE NEXT OF KIN. YOU MUST TRAVEL TO ITALY TO SET THIS ACCOUNT.
SECONDLY, YOU WILL SETUP A FRESH ACCOUNT THROUGH OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN ITALY OF WHICH IT WILL BEAR IN YOUR NAME BEFORE THIS FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT ANY WERE IN THE WORLD FOR SECURITY REASON AND ALSO TO AVOID TRACE OF THIS FUNDS.THESE ARE THE INFORMATION TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSFER .
THRIDLY, WE ARE GOING TO SEND AN OFFICIER FROM NIGERIA WHO A FINANCIAL CONSULTANT IN ITALY THAT WILL HELP YOU TO SETUP THIS ACCOUNT FOR YOU. HE IS GOING TO HAND CARRY YOU TO THE BANK WERE THIS FUNDS IS BEEN DEPOSITED BY OUR BANK. PLEASE ALL THE PARTIES INVOLVE HAVE THEIR ROLE TO PLAY IN WHICH YOU MUST FOLLOW ALL THE INSTRUCTION WHICH THEY NEED TO EXECUTE THIS TRANSACTION.
MORESO, ALL THE DOCUMENTS WILL BE PREPARED AND SENT TO YOU WHICH WILL GIVE YOU THE POWER TO CLAIM THIS FUNDS. HAVE THIS MIND ,IT IS 100% RISK FREE DEAL
PLEASE WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS ABSOLUTE CONFIDENTIAL TO AVOID ANY COMPLICATION DURING THIS PROCESS TO RECEIVE THIS FUNDS. IF YOU ARE SURE TO HANDLE THE TRANSACTION LET ME HAVE ALL THIS INFORMATION NEEDED FROM YOU.ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR INFORMATION I WILL FORWARD THE CONTACT PERSON IN ITALY SO THAT YOU WILL OPEN A COMMINUCATION WITH HIM .
YOUR CONTACT ADDRESS
YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT.
YOUR DIRECT MOBLIE PHONE /TEL/FAX LINE
YOU CAN CONTACT ME WITH THIS NUMBERS 234-1-7763136,FAX 234-1-7591495 AT ANY TIME .
LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR YOUR URGENTLY REPLY..
THANKS
MR WILLIAMS
[Like you, I did not read all that bull****. But this was getting fun!]
***************************************************
[I decided to play a little trick on our dear Mr. Williams.]
To : Evismore Williams
From : Father Arsing Focker
Subject : RE:OUR TRANSACTION PROCEDURE/REPLY QUICK
Dear Mr Williams,
I am very glad to get your reply. I am sure we will resume to proper business procedures once we get this minor obstacle over and done with.
As you know Mr Williams, it is very dangerous to do business deals over the Internet. As such, as I've said in my last e-mail, I will need positive identification from you in order to proceed.
My request to you is to take a picture of yourself holding a sign which bears the following words :
WA AI JIAK LAO SAI
Which is our company slogan in Chinese meaning "For prosperity". Together with this sign, I would also like you to place a round fruit (like an orange or apple) on the top of your head. This may sound strange to you Mr Williams, but here in South-east Asia, we Chinese are very traditional and putting a fruit on your head signals luck and gives business deals a "head"start.
I must remind you, Mr Williams, that the picture must be VERY big and VERY clear. A blurred image or one that does not conform to the steps above will not be accepted.
This is all but a little inconvenience, Mr Williams, but I'm afraid it must be done. Once I am satisfied with the photo, I will gladly proceed with the transactions at your request.
Awaiting your reply,
Father Arsing Focker,
Managing Director and CEO
Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
"Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38
[For the less fortunate of you who do not know what WA AI JIAK LAO SAI means, it means I LURVE TO EAT **** in dialect.]
***************************************************
[He surprisingly agrees to my request!]
To : Father Arsing Focker
From : Evismore Williams
Subject : PICTURE AGREEMENT IS COMING SHORTLY
ATTN Father Arsing Focker MD/CEO
SIR,
I HAVE RECEIVE YOUR PASSWORD WITH YOUR AGREEMENT WHICH I MUST FULFILL IT TO SHOW YOU MY HONEST TO WORK WITH YOU, WITHIN A SHORT TIME YOU WILL RECEIVE THIS PICTURE BY ATTACHMENT FROM ME.
I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSACTION. I WILL ALSO GIVE YOU AWRITING AGREEMENT FOR YOU TO SIGN FOR ME TO GIVE ME YOUR GUARANTEEN OF YOUR WORD TO FULFILL ALL THAT WILL TAKE TO COMPLETE THIS TRANSACTION BOTH PHYSICAL, FINANCIAL AND OTHERWISE AND YOU WILL NEVER GO BACK UNTILL WE FINANLISE THIS TRANSACTION IN DUE TIME.
I WILL NOT DISSCUS FURTHER UNTIL I RECEIVE YOUR CLEAR SATISFACTION WITH MY PICTURE YOUR REQUEST TO START THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.I WILL EVEN LIKE TO VISIT YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY ONCE YOU CAN GIVE ME ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION FOR YOUR COUNTRY TO GRANT ME VISA.HOW I WISH YOU CAN HEAR VERY WELL .BUT ALL THE SAME THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH ME.
EXPECT THE PICTURE VERY SOON.
THANKS
MR WILLIAMS
[And by the way, Mr Williams, would you please stop SHOUTING??]
**************************************************
[I waited and waited......and IT CAME!!!]
To : Father Arsing Focker
From : Evismore Williams
Subject : the photos pictures
Mr Arsing Focker
this the photo you requested form me
i hope you are satistified
[Below the message were the now-infamous attached pictures.]
click here for the pic!
smaller pic!
[I almost pissed in my pants. This guy was an IDIOT from the moon! Anyway, this story was getting interesting. I decided to reply him. I am very HONEST indeed!]
****************************************************
To : Evismore Williams
From : Father Arsing Focker
Subject : RE: the photos pictures
Dear Mr Williams,
I am pleased to inform you that I am very satisfied with your photos. Please advice me on how to proceed with the transactions.
Regards,
Father Arsing Focker,
Managing Director and CEO
Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
"Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38
***************************************************
To : Father Arsing Focker
From : Evismore Williams
Subject : TRANSACTION PROCESS COMPLTETION
ATTN FATHER ARSING FOCKER
SIR,
I AM VERY DELIGTHED TO HEAR YOUR CLEAR SATIFACTION OF THE PHOTOGRAPH.
THIS ARE THE PROCEDURE TO CARRY OUT THIS TRANSACTION WITH ME.
1- Deposit of legal fees of 25,000 dollars to be sent to me through
an account or western union either for fast completing the documentation of this transaction which the lawyer is to prepare all necessary documents to enable you claim this money and open account.
2- You must come to Italy after the preparation of documents to open account in your name where the funds will be transfered. Upon opening of the account you will need to deposit an account investment opening balance of 100,000 euros and later transfer 5% of the total amount into the account.
3- Open approval of the tax authority of the inheritance and dividence we will need to pay 1% inheritance and dividence tax on of the funds .
4.Once you are ready i will forward all the details of a financial consultant who is going to hand carry you the bank in italy.he will also assist you to get most of the papers to set of this account in italy.
please be rest assured with me once you can be able to assist me financial.
looking forward to hear from you.
THANKS
MR WILLIAMS
Regard
[Mr Williams was beginning to show his true self. I decided to question him.]
***************************************************
To : Evismore Williams
From : Father Arsing Focker
Subject : RE:TRANSACTION PROCESS COMPLTETION
Dear Mr Williams,
I am very pleased to have received your e-mail. However, I have some questions that need to be answered.
Firstly, Mr Williams, your initial e-mail indicated no notice of ANY investment or payment. Secondly, Mr Williams, you indicated that this is a risk-free transaction, that is, no contribution on my part needs to made. So saying, I feel there is no obligation for me to fly overseas.
I am a very rich and busy man Mr Williams. I have assets of over US$1billion and the money that you are asking from me is meagre. Rest assured that once I have a proper explanation from you, I will proceed with the transactions without further ado.
Awaiting your reply,
Father Arsing Focker,
Managing Director and CEO
Bread and Fruit Corporation, Ni Nao Hia Potato Chips
Reverend of the Church of The Fockers
"Food don't just go into your mouth, it goes out your arse." Lord WKM, 3:16, column 38
[Evismore "IDIOT" Williams' reply still pending.......]
i mean no need to call pple retard right.. nvm 