HE couldn't understand why his son looked nothing like him.
He finally became so desperate to find out the truth that he subjected the boy to a DNA test.
For 14 years, John had nurtured and loved his son. But all that changed after he took the boy to the Health Sciences Authority's (HSA) DNA Profiling Lab for a paternity test.
John, a foreigner who is now a Singapore citizen, never suspected his wife of having an affair.
But he had to know why his son bore no resembalnce to him.
Three weeks after taking him to HSA for a paternity test, the result was back. John was not the father.
He was devastated.
For John, the hurt was just too much. His marriage is now in tatters.
And he is only fighting for custody of his younger son - the one who is his.
The New Paper is not giving his full name to protect his son's identity.
Five lawyers said they are seeing more cases of women cheating on their husbands, and more men are now demanding paternity tests.
Although HSA figures show an increase in the number of paternity tests they are not all related to divorce proceedings.
John's story is told through court papers filed in the Family Court.
John and his wife had a son when they were overseas in 1990. They had another son in 1992 before he came here to work in 1993.
In 1998, he got his Permanent Resident status and brought his family here.
His sons were 8 and 6 then.
By the time his family arrived, his marriage was already in trouble, he claimed.
In 2000, when his elder son turned 10, he suddenly realised the boy's features were very different from his and suspected the boy was not his.
In his affidavit, he said that even after this observation, he wanted to believe that his wife was faithful and he kept telling himself he was wrong.
Four years later, when the doubts persisted, he confronted his wife who denied being unfaithful.
Not satisfied, he took the boy to the HSA lab where they took their blood samples for the DNA test.
His wife had not expected him to do that and before the results were out three weeks later, she admitted her adultery.
The lab result was like a slap in the face. It said: 'EXCLUDED as the biological father'.
John's lawyer, Ms Gloria James said that John is fighting for custody for his second son, who must now accept that he now has a half-brother.
John is no longer living with his wife and their case will be mentioned in court again on 9 Mar.
Paternity tests up
HSA figures showed more paternity tests have been carried out at its laboratory, but not all are related to divorce cases.
In 2003, there were 150 cases. In 2004, there were 156 and last year, 172 cases.
HSA said some paternity tests were to confirm genetic relationships like in immigration requirements, or in estate matters, especially when a person is claiming a stake in a piece of property.
People who take such tests do not have to tell HSA their reasons.
What will this do to kids?
THE truth of learning the child is not yours may be too much to bear.
But do these parents consider the lasting psychological impact on the child if he also learns the bitter truth?
Should fathers, in their desperation to know if their wives had been unfaithful, subject their children to such DNA tests?
John's lawyer, Ms Gloria James, said he was angry about the test results but did not take it out on his non-biological son or cut him off.
But the painful thing is that the close feeling of kinship for the boy had ebbed.
Ms James added: 'But he said that after all these years of loving him, he can't just cut him off. The boy knows the truth so you can understand what the kid is going through.'
In some cases, the love for the child can ovecome the hurt, said a counsellor.
Mr Harry Low, acting director of the Asian Women's Welfare Association's Family Service Centre, said: 'The man may be traumatised for a while. But if the bond is strong, the love (he has for the child) will overcome the shock.
'He will ask himself if he should stop loving the child just because he is not his, especially after being with the child for more than 10 years.'
But how the child will take the truth is also important.
Others do this by waiting until the child is older to break the bad news.
In the case of Alex, his 'son' may also not understand what the situation means because he could still see the man fulfilling his fatherly roles, like paying the bills, taking care of his needs and giving him guidance.
And as for the unfaithful wife, the paternity test exposing her lie may just be what she needs.
Said Mr Low: 'The woman may feel a sense of relief, especially after carrying the secret for many years.'
Still, in cases where adultery is cited, lawyers say it is usually the man who is the guilty one.
But at the same time, they are seeing more cases in which women are the unfaithful ones.
Last December, The New Paper reported that the number of marital dissolutions - divorces and annulments - almost tripled in the last 20 years.
According to the Department of Statistics, dissolutions jumped from 2,313 in 1984 to 6,388 in 2004.
Divorce lawyer Belinda Ang who has been handling such cases for 28 years, said there were also more cases of men demanding paternity tests done on their children.
She said: 'It's usually to avoid paying maintenance and also to fight the woman's claims, especially if she is demanding many things.
'But there are men who are reluctant to have such tests done as they do not want to hurt the child.'
Its amazing this can be hidden for so long, i am puzzled
Still dun noe y those women like to potray themselves as innocent victimized angels when they are clearly not.
