Someone was feeling miserable, my advice to her...
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(The following email was sent by someone feeling miserable. This was my reply to her).
At 4/14/2006 Friday 10:53 AM, you wrote:
y r emotions so hard / impossoble to control ? 2 recent incidents ....
in class , during change of lessons, i was cleaning white board , raffles was playing with mahjong paper , accidentally hit my face , pissed, i used the duster and whacked him once on his shirt ....big mistake , it couldnt come off
on wed, during sports day , i was sitting with aurelle , drinking milo , suddenly from behind came jessica, she gave me a push(scare), spilling some milo on the floor , i gt angry , turned around....and threw the remaining milo at her .... another big mistake ....nows she angry with me , and so am i ....
y r emotions so difficult to control? y is it only after a few seconds later , after the damage is done , that u realised the mistake , buts is too late ...?
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All such difficult emotions and anger are due to misunderstandings on our part, in that we interpret (wrongly) the situation to assume that something that is happening, threatens our sense of self-identity.
To understand this completely, and someday you *must* (unless you want to continue suffering such emotions endlessly, not just in this lifetime but continuing to suffer in future lifetimes too), you will have to read two books, Byron Katie's Loving What Is, and Charles Breaux's Way of Karma. Let me know when you're ready to borrow these books.
It takes lifetimes of practice, and effort to remain clear about your own emotions. To be free of suffering from your own emotions.
The next time u kena something like this, carry this out :
"Raffles should not whack me with majong paper". Turn It Around. You then get "I should not whack Raffles or other pple, with majong paper". As well as "I should not whack myself, or let myself be whacked, with majong paper".
"Jessica should not push me causing me to spill milo". Turn It Around. You then get "I should not push Jessica or other pple, causing them to spill milo". As well as "I should not push myself, or let myself be pushed, causing me to spill milo".
So you realize that what these incidents are really teaching you, are these TurnAround statements. In truth, if Jessica did push you, or if Raffles did whack you, then it means that they *should* have whacked you or pushed you, in that particular incidence, for you to have the chance to learn the lesson of the TurnAround. So don't blame them, coz they also didn't expect things to turn out this way, they were just doing what they thought is ok to do, have some fun, etc. This is being understanding and compassionate. And indeed, you can be grateful to them for doing this to you, so as to give you the opportunity to learn your own lessons about yourself here.
But it doesn't mean that you should continue to let yourself be whacked or pushed. But it also doesn't mean that you should hit them back or hurt them to punish them. Or feel angry, upset, or miserable about them, about yourself, or even about your lack of control over your emotions.
It (the true meaning of these incidents) only means that you should use the chance to clarify your emotions, apply the TurnAround to learn the true lesson behind these incidents, and become a more conscious (of your emotions) and loving (and understanding and compassionate) person.
Be patient with yourself. Don't be frustrated over your lack of control of emotions. The first step is to be compassionate and understanding with yourself, then you can be compassionate and understanding with others.
Love yourself first. Only then can you truly love the universe and others. -
SgForum's counseller talk nia...
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it's because she is 2 petty la.. really man.Originally posted by UltimaOnline:(The following email was sent by someone feeling miserable. This was my reply to her).
At 4/14/2006 Friday 10:53 AM, you wrote:
y r emotions so hard / impossoble to control ? 2 recent incidents ....
in class , during change of lessons, i was cleaning white board , raffles was playing with mahjong paper , accidentally hit my face , pissed, i used the duster and whacked him once on his shirt ....big mistake , it couldnt come off
on wed, during sports day , i was sitting with aurelle , drinking milo , suddenly from behind came jessica, she gave me a push(scare), spilling some milo on the floor , i gt angry , turned around....and threw the remaining milo at her .... another big mistake ....nows she angry with me , and so am i ....
y r emotions so difficult to control? y is it only after a few seconds later , after the damage is done , that u realised the mistake , buts is too late ...?
----------------------------------
All such difficult emotions and anger are due to misunderstandings on our part, in that we interpret (wrongly) the situation to assume that something that is happening, threatens our sense of self-identity.
To understand this completely, and someday you *must* (unless you want to continue suffering such emotions endlessly, not just in this lifetime but continuing to suffer in future lifetimes too), you will have to read two books, Byron Katie's Loving What Is, and Charles Breaux's Way of Karma. Let me know when you're ready to borrow these books.
It takes lifetimes of practice, and effort to remain clear about your own emotions. To be free of suffering from your own emotions.
The next time u kena something like this, carry this out :
"Raffles should not whack me with majong paper". Turn It Around. You then get "I should not whack Raffles or other pple, with majong paper". As well as "I should not whack myself, or let myself be whacked, with majong paper".
"Jessica should not push me causing me to spill milo". Turn It Around. You then get "I should not push Jessica or other pple, causing them to spill milo". As well as "I should not push myself, or let myself be pushed, causing me to spill milo".
So you realize that what these incidents are really teaching you, are these TurnAround statements. In truth, if Jessica did push you, or if Raffles did whack you, then it means that they *should* have whacked you or pushed you, in that particular incidence, for you to have the chance to learn the lesson of the TurnAround. So don't blame them, coz they also didn't expect things to turn out this way, they were just doing what they thought is ok to do, have some fun, etc. This is being understanding and compassionate. And indeed, you can be grateful to them for doing this to you, so as to give you the opportunity to learn your own lessons about yourself here.
But it doesn't mean that you should continue to let yourself be whacked or pushed. But it also doesn't mean that you should hit them back or hurt them to punish them. Or feel angry, upset, or miserable about them, about yourself, or even about your lack of control over your emotions.
It (the true meaning of these incidents) only means that you should use the chance to clarify your emotions, apply the TurnAround to learn the true lesson behind these incidents, and become a more conscious (of your emotions) and loving (and understanding and compassionate) person.
Be patient with yourself. Don't be frustrated over your lack of control of emotions. The first step is to be compassionate and understanding with yourself, then you can be compassionate and understanding with others.
Love yourself first. Only then can you truly love the universe and others. -
I'm too lazy to read all that crap, so I'll just post a non constructive reply here.
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me tooOriginally posted by ditzy:I'm too lazy to read all that crap, so I'll just post a non constructive reply here. -
can someone write me a summary of that story up this thread?
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well..its not your fault if you retaliate due to provocation...but if the provocation is not done on purpose...it is your fault to take action...
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by posting here, how the fark does that help?
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errrrrrr. i credit it to stress and lack of sleep. I person who lacks slp can frustrated easily.
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i credit it to being hungry...i can get frustrated easily if i am hungry...Originally posted by NewAge:errrrrrr. i credit it to stress and lack of sleep. I person who lacks slp can frustrated easily.
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Just tell the person to listen to some Linkin Park. End of story.
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hahh! u ppl r cute