HR Policy
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Dress Code -
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.
If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore, you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better so that you may buy nicer clothes; therefore, you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are where you need to be and therefore, you do not need a raise.
Sick Days -
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Surgery -
Operations are banned. As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. Do not consider having anything removed. We hired you intact.
To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Personal Days -
Each employee will receive 52 personal days a year. They are called Sunday.
Bereavement Leave -
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use -
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a photograph will be taken.
After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break -
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to
get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company.
We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations,consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. -
so salary how much?
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OTOTOriginally posted by FireIce:so salary how much?
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watch me burn the company down.
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tink work as admin better...
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well iheading that directionOriginally posted by BrUtUs:tink work as admin better...
V
anyway this is i receive frm my friend email...is a joke lah -
u mean normal office admin?Originally posted by duotiga83:well iheading that direction V
anyway this is i receive frm my friend email...is a joke lah
at least u found ur road so jz full blast toward it lo...
haha, already knew it was a forwarded email... -
roday interviewer refreshes my mind finally......Originally posted by BrUtUs:u mean normal office admin?
at least u found ur road so jz full blast toward it lo...
haha, already knew it was a forwarded email...
he said that " do a job/cateer that you feel comfortable with"
V
so i set myself finding IT/Coordinating/admin types of jobs -
yup its true... no point if u go into something u not comfortable wif n make ur days a living hell... good luck... aim for helpdesk lo.... theres always advert on it... or even try tester...Originally posted by duotiga83:roday interviewer refreshes my mind finally......
he said that " do a job/cateer that you feel comfortable with" V
so i set myself finding IT/Coordinating/admin types of jobs -
I'm laughing wif myself in my room. -
for me is just now the jobs i want is either PT/perm related...as for part-time/temp i willing to take any except retail/shiftOriginally posted by BrUtUs:yup its true... no point if u go into something u not comfortable wif n make ur days a living hell... good luck... aim for helpdesk lo.... theres always advert on it... or even try tester...
i alreadymade up my mind and the path i would like to do in 2yrs time