Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives.
Have you ever wondered what it would be like if 'Ti Kong' God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing:
" Thank you for calling Tian Tang Heaven.
For English press 1,
For Mandarin press 2,
For Hokkien press 3,
For Malay. press 4,
For Tamil, press 5,
For all other languages, press 6,
Please select one of the following options:
Press 1 for request,
Press 2 for thanksgiving,
Press 3 for complaints,
Press 4 for suggestions,
Press 5 to make a Donation to our Bank A/C No.,
Press 6 to Transfer Merits/Credit to love ones,
Press 7 for all other matters.
I am sorry, all our Buddha/Kuan Yin, Angels/Saints and Tua/Zee Ya Pehs
are all busy helping other sinners and 'troubled souls' right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the
order it is received.
Please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
Ti Kong God, press 1,
Buddha or Jesus, press 2,
Kuan Yin or Mary, Press 3,
Tua/Zee Ya Peh or Holy spirit, press 4.
To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven, press 5,..then
enter his CPF Social Security # followed by the pound sign. (If you
receive a negative response, please hang up and dial area code 666!).
For reservations to TianTang/Heaven, please enter 'Tai Sui' or 'JOHN'
followed by the numbers, 1 3 8.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other
planets, please wait until you arrive in TianTang/Heaven for the
specifics.
Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please
hang up and call again tomorrow. Please don't hog the phone line and
give others a chance.
The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday.
If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please
contact your local Shi Fu, Sai Kong, Tang Kee or Pastor.
If you wish to leave a voice message, press 'O' and speak clearly
AFTER the tone. We will have a Bodhisiva or Angel return your call A.S.A.P.
Thank you and have a nice heavenly day."
