New South Wales English Competition
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I believe this year's topic was somewhere along the inane lines of going back in time in a space machine with some companion.
My story was how I got transported back into the 1958 World Cup Finals between Sweden and Brazil.
As I had to explain the plot somehow, one of my characters asked of another "How it is possible we have arrived here in this time?" while the other sarcastically replied "Hell, with a storyline as improbable as this, anything can happen!"
I wrote about how I magically donned the Brazillian yellow jersey and went on to score all of Brazil's goals. Suddenly, a voice screamed from the crowd, "Death to Brazil!" and Diego Maradonna apparates himself in the middle of the pitch, fully naked with genitals flapping, and does a streaking run across the pitch before being gunned down by a rooftop sniper who calls out in an omnipotent god-like thunder, "Headshot."
My last paragraph went along somewhere along these lines :
"Dear Examiner, I am truly sorry that I have wasted your time by forcing you to read my utter nonsense. I am only doing this because I have been forced to sit on my ass and write this crap up by my English HOD, and that I have also put down a forced-payment of SGD$10 just to sit for this quiz of yours. I am sorry that Australia have been knocked out the World Cup this recent June (damn Italians are cheating b******, I sympathise). Hope you come to Singapore in the near future. Thank you and have a nice day."
I then proceded to shade my name as [first name] Beckham as well as listing down my sex as a female when I am not. One of my classmates lagi best, shaded his name as Fernando Torres (the Spanish football star).
I just got back my results today.
I got a distinction, narrowly missing out on a high distinction. I also scored higher than the majority of the JC 1 cohort who sat for this quiz (I'm a cannotmakeit O level student). KNN laugh until peng sia.
Great to see that at least examiners from other parts of the world have a sense of humour.
So what did you get?
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Well, u meant, that if u wrote this for local exams.. u wld have flunked straight away ??
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In a way, yah.
Plus it's fun to give nonsensical crap for answers at times.
For a recent Chemistry exam.
Name one source of air pollutants :
Answer : Indonesia. Walao eh that damn haze again..
For a recent Physics exam.
Some random Section B question :
Answer : SORRY MS LIM I NEVER STUDY!!
And yah, emoticon included. Heh. -
Then i am reminded that in my sch...
someone wrote that, long run (Econs, Prouction and cost theory) is a pirated CD stall that open for a very long time. Short run is the stall open awhile then mata catch. Then if the seller nvr tio catch, means very long run ... -
Owned!haha i'm impressed. +1
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i sketched a formula 1 racing car for my JC physics promos i think. or maybe it was prelims. no answers, just a nice sketch of a racing car. wish i'd kept it for myself. it was one of the best sketches i've ever done.
if it was for the promos, then it gets funnier. i passed physics promos. -
Originally posted by iSpeak:
haha, u damn heng its the aussies, they have a sense of humour, if its cambridge, u will be screwed lor...
I believe this year's topic was somewhere along the inane lines of going back in time in a space machine with some companion.
My story was how I got transported back into the 1958 World Cup Finals between Sweden and Brazil.
As I had to explain the plot somehow, one of my characters asked of another "How it is possible we have arrived here in this time?" while the other sarcastically replied "Hell, with a storyline as improbable as this, anything can happen!"
I wrote about how I magically donned the Brazillian yellow jersey and went on to score all of Brazil's goals. Suddenly, a voice screamed from the crowd, "Death to Brazil!" and Diego Maradonna apparates himself in the middle of the pitch, [b]fully naked with genitals flapping, and does a streaking run across the pitch before being gunned down by a rooftop sniper who calls out in an omnipotent god-like thunder, "Headshot."
My last paragraph went along somewhere along these lines :
"Dear Examiner, I am truly sorry that I have wasted your time by forcing you to read my utter nonsense. I am only doing this because I have been forced to sit on my ass and write this crap up by my English HOD, and that I have also put down a forced-payment of SGD$10 just to sit for this quiz of yours. I am sorry that Australia have been knocked out the World Cup this recent June (damn Italians are cheating b******, I sympathise). Hope you come to Singapore in the near future. Thank you and have a nice day."
I then proceded to shade my name as [first name] Beckham as well as listing down my sex as a female when I am not. One of my classmates lagi best, shaded his name as Fernando Torres (the Spanish football star).
I just got back my results today.
I got a distinction, narrowly missing out on a high distinction. I also scored higher than the majority of the JC 1 cohort who sat for this quiz (I'm a cannotmakeit O level student). KNN laugh until peng sia.
Great to see that at least examiners from other parts of the world have a sense of humour.
So what did you get?[/b]
but ur plot do sound like a winner for a nice entertaining read, possible to reproduce it? -
Not possible to reproduce it in its entirety. It was way back in July I think.
Heh. I inserted completely random lines that were totally beyond any relevance to my plot (which was fcuked up anyway).
Half-way throughout the story George W.Bush suddenly pops in and screams "WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!!"
And I am sure I included a "So where the bloody hell are you?" tourism Australia reference in there somewhere.
The script-marker must have thought I was drugged. By the way - that distinction cert? Crushed it into a ball and trashed it. -
If i were u, i would probably framed it up ... lol.Originally posted by iSpeak:The script-marker must have thought I was drugged. By the way - that distinction cert? Crushed it into a ball and trashed it.
Btw, HENG, ur sketch got how many marks ... -
The stupid exam answer I always give for a laugh is..
Physics
"What type of transformer is this? Step up or step down?"
Ans: Neither. It's an Autobot. -
Fun right.
For my o level chinese compre, because i didnt know how tor ead the damn passage.
I copied the last paragraph into the first question, 2nd last para into the 2nd qn....and so on....
the mcq all anyhow put number....
i dont know how i passed. -
this remind me of a story that one of my history teacher told me during sec sch..
there was this student taking his jc examination.. the topic was courage and he have to write an essay around 4 pages long regarding bout this topic.. in the end, he only wrote one world.. " this is courage". in the end, he got a distinction for it.. -
wa.
he took a big risk man. if the marker didn't understand what he meant then he cham liao. -
Urban legend lah.Originally posted by huy:this remind me of a story that one of my history teacher told me during sec sch..
there was this student taking his jc examination.. the topic was courage and he have to write an essay around 4 pages long regarding bout this topic.. in the end, he only wrote one world.. " this is courage". in the end, he got a distinction for it..
Another version goes how an Art student, required to do an art piece on "Purity", submitted a blank A3 drawing block and boldly declaring :
"See. My paper white. White signifies purity. Macam our national flag." -
have u heard the one where a student is given a right angled triangle, given the length and width of the triangle as 3 and 4, and asked to find h?
he circled h and said "there is h"
or my mommy told me about this, where a student who was asked to expand (x+y)^2 expanded it by adding spaces between all the digits. thus expanded it becomes ( x + y ) ^2
and then theres there student who asked my cousin this about a geography question:Teacher what is "describe"?