Engagement and Wedding
-
From what i know, engagement is reversible in the sense that eventually the 2 parties involved might not end up with marriage. If things doesnt go on smoothly, they have the final decision to go separate ways without engaging in legal service.
Marriage however is a permanant damage, one is only free to marry again after his/her previous marriage has been dissolved by death or by a Court of competent jurisdiction.
To any chinese out there, a wedding is completed only with the traditional wedding dinner. If you decide to register for marriage but wishes to hold the dinner in a few yrs time, is that considered as engagement ?
If not, how does one go about with engagement ? -
I think the definition of engagement is different between Asians and Westerners.
For Westerners, you are considered engaged when the man proposed to the woman and she said yes.
-
Don't think we have the concept of engagement here, and even if there is, it is likely an informal arrangement that is non-binding (just like girlfriends/boyfriends).
In Singapore, it is very simple. The moment you sign on the dotted line at ROM, you are legally married, with or without a traditional dinner. -
I'm dunno why, but Singaporean Chinese have a f**king stupid mentality that ROM is not actually getting married but the traditional wedding ceremony.
I've seen many couples of who ROM and said, oh we're not married yet, so we can't stay together yet. -
its a tradition that people chose to follow.Originally posted by pwnz0r:I'm dunno why, but Singaporean Chinese have a f**king stupid mentality that ROM is not actually getting married but the traditional wedding ceremony.
I've seen many couples of who ROM and said, oh we're not married yet, so we can't stay together yet.
why is it stupid? -
many couple ROM first
then do traditional 1 year or a few years later...... -
Because thats not true.Originally posted by Ito_^:its a tradition that people chose to follow.
why is it stupid?
Chinese perception made it 'true' therefore, they chose to follow.
Follow what? They don't know....ermm....because it's tradition lor.
Arh Neh! -
I like to kaypo leh.Originally posted by Matthew Lim Li Hao:so what? no your business
Arh neh. -
Woohoo!!!!Originally posted by Matthew Lim Li Hao:
deprived and sad man above
arh neh -
But i don't want to get married.Originally posted by Matthew Lim Li Hao:come i pity you.
lets go ROM together
Arh neh. -
I already said liao.Originally posted by Matthew Lim Li Hao:but haven't taditional
ROM is marriage.
Tradition is post Marriage event. Period.
The moment a couple say 'I DO' towards one another upon the presence of witnesses. They are married.
Having a tradition dinner doesn't upgrade a couple's status to a formal husband and wife. Though locals think this way.
I don't. And i don't want to get married!!!!! I love WOMEN!!!
Arh neh -
getting married means signing on the dotted line at ROM.
the dinner after that is for show.
if U want a gathering before getting married to tell everyone that U will be getting married with so-and-so...thats engagement...but not commonly done in singapore...quite useless also... -
then what is the term 'fiance' and 'fiancee' for?
-
Its to signify the couple who are engaged. Although the terms finance and financee, engagement ring are used freely here, the actual act of being engaged is not commonly practiced.Originally posted by huiz:then what is the term 'fiance' and 'fiancee' for? -
No idea. This is what I can't figure out. I keep telling my friends what do you mean you're not married? You guys have already ROMed.Originally posted by pwnz0r:I'm dunno why, but Singaporean Chinese have a f**king stupid mentality that ROM is not actually getting married but the traditional wedding ceremony.
I've seen many couples of who ROM and said, oh we're not married yet, so we can't stay together yet. Then they tell me coz they not done their traditional so they are not married, and I'll go but you're married in the eyes of law!!! If you wanna 'break-up' now you need to get a divorce!!
Anyway I gave up explaining -
It's a kind of respect to the parent mah. Cos old parent dunno wat ROM is about. Sooner this will become history liao cos younger parent know wat ROM is liao mah.Originally posted by pwnz0r:I'm dunno why, but Singaporean Chinese have a f**king stupid mentality that ROM is not actually getting married but the traditional wedding ceremony.
I've seen many couples of who ROM and said, oh we're not married yet, so we can't stay together yet. -
Don't think it really matters on the age of your parents but more on how traditional they are.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:It's a kind of respect to the parent mah. Cos old parent dunno wat ROM is about. Sooner this will become history liao cos younger parent know wat ROM is liao mah. -
Traidition are changing, next time yr grandson are having eROM and even having wedding in the net, how u feel?Originally posted by elindra:Don't think it really matters on the age of your parents but more on how traditional they are. -
that is why next time i will combine both into one event.
-
Nowadays couple don't get engaged, they go steady & get couple's rings
-
the way i see it, over HERE... ROM is like an engagement.
-
You still need parent approval even after the ROM, they want to drink yr cup of tea, so they feel that they are respected mah.
-
If that is what they want I'm fine with it.Originally posted by T.Ryousuke:Traidition are changing, next time yr grandson are having eROM and even having wedding in the net, how u feel?
Btw I didn't go through the traditional wedding
There is no tea ceremony, nothing because we feel there is no need for it
My parents are ok with it as well as they think that no point spending the extra money if we don't want to
Basically I get to do it anyway I like it except that in the end we had to have a small buffet for the family coz my parents fell from the pressure given by my grandma -
There is no right or wrong. It's about what people feel is important.
Just like a Christian wedding is not official till it's been blessed by the priest, ROM or no ROM.
Same rationale for the tea drinking ceremony viewed by traditional-minded Chinese. -
Buy flat.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Nowadays couple don't get engaged, they go steady & get couple's rings