Attend weddings & birthdays; angbao only $10
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Is it true that when Malay people attend people's weddings or birthdays; their angbao is always about a pathetic sum of $10. Yet they shamelessly bring their whole family of 4-6 to pig out on the available food?
If it's true; don't they know any shame? Don't they feel it's disgraceful? It's ridiculous and simply shows their lack of generosity, ethicity and principles somehow?
Whereas people of other races would give at least $100. And very 'paiseh' to eat the food.
Don't flame me yet; for I did not mention that it's true and justified. -
maybe $10 got special meaning leh.. like we Chinese avoid putting $4 in red packets because 4 in chinese, sounds like "die"
even if your sources are true, those are only some of the "cheapskate" Malays. confirm plus chop people of other races do that too. -
That's why Malay ppl celebrating their Wedding party below HDB building, the food was prepare by their own ppl, if they do this in hotel like chinese, sure bankrup.
Can u imagine when they bring the whole family 7 ppl go to Shangrila Hotel eat lobster meal and only give $10 ang bao?
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u sure?Originally posted by mamamamama:maybe $10 got special meaning leh.. like we Chinese avoid putting $4 in red packets because 4 in chinese, sounds like "die"
even if your sources are true, those are only some of the "cheapskate" Malays. confirm plus chop people of other races do that too.
all along my angbao always 4 dollar one
i tink out of 10, 8 give 4 dollar -
ur head la, my relatives put $4 lo... dey all giam 1 lo... i always kp dem 1 lo...Originally posted by mamamamama:maybe $10 got special meaning leh.. like we Chinese avoid putting $4 in red packets because 4 in chinese, sounds like "die"
even if your sources are true, those are only some of the "cheapskate" Malays. confirm plus chop people of other races do that too.
maybe dats y i always lose in blackjack wif dem
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When chinese wedding in a hotel or restaurant of cos reasonable to give above $50..
But since its low budget below HDB wedding, the cost is low per person so giving less is acceptable
But then again, $ 10 for a family of 6 is really overboard.
Then again, maybe those giving $10 type have no money?
The malay family/ frns culture is very close-knit, i dun think they mind if their vistors give little $$$ juz as long as they all have chance to gather and have fun
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no.. not all malays are lik tat.....but mayb its only to the HDB voiddeak den gv so little..
my friend wedding at the long men resturant, the harbour front... some of the friends, malays.. gv more den $100... -
If the whole family is invited, who are you so quick to criticise without empathy? Don't you think that condemning them publicly like you have is just as shameless?
*Quoted for truth*Originally posted by trendz:Is it true that when Malay people attend people's weddings or birthdays; their angbao is always about a pathetic sum of $10. Yet they shamelessly bring their whole family of 4-6 to pig out on the available food?
If it's true; don't they know any shame? Don't they feel it's disgraceful? It's ridiculous and simply shows their lack of generosity, ethicity and principles somehow?
Whereas people of other races would give at least $100. And very 'paiseh' to eat the food.
Don't flame me yet; for I did not mention that it's true and justified. -
Weddings should never be about the amount of the angpow.
It's about family - not face. It's about meaning, not money. How the gift is given - in sincerity and with blessing - is more important that how MUCH is given ba. -
Why are you so defensive? What empathy? Nobody asked useless, incompetent, inconsiderate and selfish parents to have so many kids when they have no means at all and even supporting themselves would be a major problem.Originally posted by Kuali Baba:If the whole family is invited, who are you so quick to criticise without empathy? Don't you think that condemning them publicly like you have is just as shameless?
*Quoted for truth*
And in the first place, I wasn't even condemning them. Obviously, you DO NOT know how to read. And why are you so sensitive?
The others replied with a neutral pov. But i guess it seems like it's true.
Labelling me shameless is pretty much uncalled for. Labelling an action which is unjustifiable and is simply too much IS shameless. Why?
Okay; let's not talk about the HDB cheapskate thing.
You see; imagine this scenario - Chinese A/ Indian A invited ONLY colleague Malay B to a posh restaurant located in a hotel. She brought along her family of 6; whacked the food and dropped only a $10 angpao. (In this case, the husband and kids are 'self-invites.')
Do you even think it's appropriate? Do you feel that it's too much? Doesn't she have any shame? Or... is it that 'value-for-money' mentality? As in.. I pay little; I want AND will get alot. Or.. 'aiya.. wedding only wat; we wedding @ hdb also give the same, aiya.. never mind lah.' -
No. That's not what I meant. Sincerity is one thing..Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:Weddings should never be about the amount of the angpow.
It's about family - not face. It's about meaning, not money. How the gift is given - in sincerity and with blessing - is more important that how MUCH is given ba.
But you must know how much is suitable/reasonable & appropriate for each special occasion. To be honest, if my Mom gives my nephew a $10 angbao when attending his wedding; it's 'si bei xia suay.' I don't even know where to hide my face man.. -
It's the thought that count. It's the blessing from the people who gave you. Why not next time you marry then give your relative $100 each. They will call you king. If you give then $10, they will call you wimp.
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you got married and invited that family only once right?
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the malays are a closely nick community as such, it is the sincerity of attendance that count. those who are able contribute more and those who can't contribute less.
chinese dinner are somwhat different. it's like you pay for your own food you eat (the calculation of how much you should give). the desire to wish them well and happy is much less diminish by the calculation.
I have received a $2 angpow for my wedding dinner. to me this is a big gift considering that the aunty was already in her 80's and living in an old age home. It's the blessing that is "big" -
Originally posted by trendz:Is it true that when Malay people attend people's weddings or birthdays; their angbao is always about a pathetic sum of $10. Yet they shamelessly bring their whole family of 4-6 to pig out on the available food?
If it's true; don't they know any shame? Don't they feel it's disgraceful? It's ridiculous and simply shows their lack of generosity, ethicity and principles somehow?
Whereas people of other races would give at least $100. And very 'paiseh' to eat the food.
Don't flame me yet; for I did not mention that it's true and justified. it also shows the host's "lack of generosity, ethicity and principles" if they should be angry over this. no money dun celebrate weddings or birthdays la. -
malay culture and chinese culture are diffirent.
the malays may not understand chinese traditions... -
no.. i'm not talking about cny. If you're married, you wouldn't wanna receive only 10 bucks from a family whose finances are pretty okay, right?Originally posted by Darkness_hacker99:It's the thought that count. It's the blessing from the people who gave you. Why not next time you marry then give your relative $100 each. They will call you king. If you give then $10, they will call you wimp. -
x2Originally posted by udontknowme:malay culture and chinese culture are diffirent.
the malays may not understand chinese traditions...
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this is not about traditions. this is about ethicity and principles. even if i attend a malay wedding, i wouldn't be so ridiculous to give only a $10 angbao. What a joke!Originally posted by udontknowme:malay culture and chinese culture are diffirent.
the malays may not understand chinese traditions...
Why not you say - when you attend a malay wedding, you don't give anything and give them their blessings from your heart. More sincere right? -.-" -
X2. Just to add on. There're Chinese Cheapskates around as well.Originally posted by udontknowme:malay culture and chinese culture are diffirent.
the malays may not understand chinese traditions...
Cheers.
C.K -
first of all, you have to figure out if they know that people usually pay roughly $100/person in a typical chinese wedding dinner.Originally posted by trendz:this is not about traditions. this is about ethicity and principles. even if i attend a malay wedding, i wouldn't be so ridiculous to give only a $10 angbao. What a joke!
Why not you say - when you attend a malay wedding, you don't give anything and give them their blessings from your heart. More sincere right? -.-"
is it their fault if this is the first chinese wedding dinner they have been to and all the while they have been paying this amount for the other malay (or would muslim be a more appropriate word?? ) weddings they have attended??
of course, i myself have never attended a malay wedding and so i dont know how much pple usually give during those weddings. so i cant say if the person who just gave $10 is really stingy or he really doesnt know that what he is doing might be considered rude to most chinese... -
never attend a malay wedding b4 leh.......
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so have u attend a wedding before anot?Originally posted by trendz:this is not about traditions. this is about ethicity and principles. even if i attend a malay wedding, i wouldn't be so ridiculous to give only a $10 angbao. What a joke!
Why not you say - when you attend a malay wedding, you don't give anything and give them their blessings from your heart. More sincere right? -.-"
u hosting wedding dinner for ur wedding or for the money? -
seriously, you dont invite pple to wedding dinners for the cash.
not everyone can afford all that $$$$.
dont you invite pple for weddings cos you wanna share the joy and happiness and whatever??
honestly, the money isnt the MAIN issue...
why make such a big deal about this??
(unless the person is really damn rich an NOBODY gives $10 in ANY type of weddings) -
eh, giving angbao or green bao is giving a blessing. i Pai seh to revieve alot of money also... red pao with 2 dollar is fine with me .